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OK... withdrawl question. WH is normally a person easily aggravated, but the past 2 days have been really h*llish. He's saying the same stuff as in the beginning, rewriting history again and being an all out a$$.
Walking away and ignoring him is pissing him off more, what could I possibly say?
And NC is still in place, I think the past 2 days have been bad because he usually saw OW on Fridays. Are you certain NC is still in place? This sounds like there may have just been contact. Remember ~ APs bring out the worst in the F/WS so when they become unusually p*ssy, it's often because of C. My H never had the typical withdrawal so I'm no expert on withdrawal but I WOULD be extra careful about NC being broken. Do/did they work together?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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WHERE AND HOW did he see the posow on fridays? I'd also question if there has been a breach of NC .
Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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He would take her out to dinner, to "their" place Edit: No, they don't work together. I'm positive NC is still in place. DS worked with WH all Friday and after work, we stayed home and ordered in take out and watched movies. Today, I had lunch with a friend but one of my supporters spent the time I was away with WH fixing my car. The rest of the day, we were together. I checked all my sources and not a peep from OW or an attempt at contact from WH. He's calmed down now, but it's seriously like he's bipolar. One minute raging about something he thought he heard, to clinging to me on the couch telling me he loves me.
Last edited by TickyTock; 04/02/11 11:08 PM.
Me: BW WH 41 (practicing alcoholic) Married 20 yrs DS20, DD15, DD9 Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit NC since 03/11, broken 04/11 NC again 07/11 broken 12/11 Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012 D filed 01/25/2012 D final 05/15/2012
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Ugh... was going so good.
Last week WH had a panic attack which resulted in minor heart attack. Spent 4 days in the hospital drugged up to keep him calm. Doctors (hospital and his private) put him back on blood pressure meds, xanax and seroquel.
The night he got out of the hospital he contacted OW. Told he he had dreams of them together, that it was meant to be, and now he's finally seen the light and they belong together. Went on all weekend, friends talked to him and told him to to basically sh*it or get off the pot, stop his crap. He told *them* that he's been incredibly stupid and has no intention of leaving me, he loves me and only me.
Yesterday, I contacted her again, told her to back off, did she really want to teach her daughter that it's OK to break up marriages. She told me that she has no intention of doing that and doesn't ever want to see him again.
So, since last night and all day today, I get to see him acting like a sniveling fool begging her to take him back, that they're soulmates, he hasn't ever loved me, blah blah. I'm so nauseated I feel like throwing up.
Kick him out and plan B or live through the sniveling bullsh*t? She's since blocked him so she won't be replying anymore.
Me: BW WH 41 (practicing alcoholic) Married 20 yrs DS20, DD15, DD9 Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit NC since 03/11, broken 04/11 NC again 07/11 broken 12/11 Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012 D filed 01/25/2012 D final 05/15/2012
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I would go to Plan B. This waffling is bullcr*p.
Since he can't make the decision, you make it for him. He needs to know he's not the only one who can call the shots in YOUR marriage.
Be strong and stand up for yourself. Go to a pitch dark Plan B and show him what life is like without in the picture at all.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Kick him out and plan B or live through the sniveling bullsh*t? She's since blocked him so she won't be replying anymore. Do you feel better when he's not around? It sounds like you're getting to that place where you won't be married at all costs. If he's moping around in front of you like someone ran over his dog then I'd write up a Plan B letter, get your ducks in a row and tell him to leave. You shouldn't have his indecisiveness paraded in front of you on a daily basis. He needs to put his big boy britches on.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Yesterday, I contacted her again, told her to back off, did she really want to teach her daughter that it's OK to break up marriages. She told me that she has no intention of doing that and doesn't ever want to see him again. TT, my FWH OW actually looked me straight in the eye and said the exact same thing. I was a fool to believe her. Don't be so sure of the blocking thing either. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
ME: BW HIM: FWH Married 18 yrs DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
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Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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OK... withdrawl question. WH is normally a person easily aggravated, but the past 2 days have been really h*llish. He's saying the same stuff as in the beginning, rewriting history again and being an all out a$$.
Walking away and ignoring him is pissing him off more, what could I possibly say?
And NC is still in place, I think the past 2 days have been bad because he usually saw OW on Fridays. I think NC was broken long before the hospital situation.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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You can get into Plan B within 48 hours IF you work very hard. Don't cut any corners though. Better to make it 72 or even 96 hours ~ or longer ~ if you don't have all your ducks in a row. How to Plan B
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Also, how did you find this out and does he know that you know?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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NC was definitely in place until last Friday. This I'm 100% positive about. His relapse was due to the health issues, incidently, his affair started after his last mild heart attack. Almost exactly 2 yrs.
On one hand, I want to plan B.
On the other hand, I don't think there's enough love left in me to accept him back if I plan B. I think B will lead to D. I'm so digusted right now, I don't even want to touch him or him to touch me.
Me: BW WH 41 (practicing alcoholic) Married 20 yrs DS20, DD15, DD9 Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit NC since 03/11, broken 04/11 NC again 07/11 broken 12/11 Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012 D filed 01/25/2012 D final 05/15/2012
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Texts back and forth, they get uploaded to a place I can read them.
He doesn't know I know exactly what the texts say, just that I "know" he's contacting her and I told him that I contacted her.
Me: BW WH 41 (practicing alcoholic) Married 20 yrs DS20, DD15, DD9 Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit NC since 03/11, broken 04/11 NC again 07/11 broken 12/11 Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012 D filed 01/25/2012 D final 05/15/2012
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So, since last night and all day today, I get to see him acting like a sniveling fool begging her to take him back, that they're soulmates, he hasn't ever loved me, blah blah. I'm so nauseated I feel like throwing up.
Kick him out and plan B or live through the sniveling bullsh*t? She's since blocked him so she won't be replying anymore. Oh, gag. TickyTock, only you can decide how much of this abuse you are willing to take. Me? I would pack of a nice bag of clothes and his toiletries, set them back the door and then tell him to get the hell out. Don't trust the OW.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Yes, actually I do feel better when he's not around. That should answer my questions, eh?
No, she's not married. Divorced.
Me: BW WH 41 (practicing alcoholic) Married 20 yrs DS20, DD15, DD9 Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit NC since 03/11, broken 04/11 NC again 07/11 broken 12/11 Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012 D filed 01/25/2012 D final 05/15/2012
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Yes, actually I do feel better when he's not around. That should answer my questions, eh? Well, it's food for thought. Do your two oldest kids know about this mess? Sorry if this was answered in your previous thread, I didn't see it.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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All 3 kids know, all 3 kids hate her, her kids hate WH (according to what I've heard).
It will be a LOVELY step situation, because I think I'm almost positive if I go to B, it will be straight to D.
Me: BW WH 41 (practicing alcoholic) Married 20 yrs DS20, DD15, DD9 Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit NC since 03/11, broken 04/11 NC again 07/11 broken 12/11 Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012 D filed 01/25/2012 D final 05/15/2012
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You are kind of on an anger high right now, which is certainly understandable.
Why don't you get into a dark Plan B and THEN decide if you want to go straight to D? This might help you not make any rash decisions.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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I am angry... irate... pick one. I hate him right now.
Is there a good link for what plan B actually is with IM instructions? I want to forward to a friend so she can read about it before I ask her to be the go between for me and the sniveling fool.
Me: BW WH 41 (practicing alcoholic) Married 20 yrs DS20, DD15, DD9 Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit NC since 03/11, broken 04/11 NC again 07/11 broken 12/11 Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012 D filed 01/25/2012 D final 05/15/2012
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Intermediary Training School Also read the link I posted earlier on How to Plan B.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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