Have you ever confronted this OW?

Yes, to her mother (father passed), sisters, brothers, friends on facebook. What you said is common as I know quite a few Filipino.

But OW situation is different. H gave her at least $12k cash, paying all her bills, car insurance, etc. He gave her mother $$$ to buy an used car, helped buy her a laptop.... They are hooked by his money.

After exposure, ow's mother talked to H and he lies and lies - he wants divorce but I drag....

I guess ow's mother may say, final the divorce before you continue with my daughter. But she is out of state looking for work, ow is here with her sister and she is free to do whatever H wants.

A deadend for me, do't you agree?

Susie, I saw ow's letter to family and friends after the exposure. She stands by H, defending their love, he is the one for her, she doesn't judget him for hiding about me and baby for over 1 year, she asks people not to judge him... she will wait for him to final the (fake) divorce and mary her.

Ow's sister told me they think ow is making a mistake but she is a big girl and can decide for herself and they won't judge her...

No, I don't think it is a dead end at all!

Did you only expose to all of her family/friends on Facebook or just those that you mentioned?

Did you respond back to OW mother/siblings that he is lying and that there is NO divorce filed or did you let it go?

Madison, Dr Harley recommends staying in Plan B no longer than 2 years. If your H doesn't end his affair and come back by then, the marriage is really over and you should divorce anyway. Filing for divorce won't be the point of no return. If your H is serious about ending his affair and coming back, then wild horses will not stop him, so don't worry about that. And if he is not serious about coming back, your marriage is over any way.

By filing for divorce and dragging it out, you get the best of both worlds. You get legal protection for 2 years, and if he doesn't come back, it will be easy for you to finalize the divorce and move on. If he does end his affair and meet your conditions during that 2 years, you can drop the divorce. You don't lose by filing for divorce, no matter the outcome.

If you file and force him to pay you alimony and CS, he won't have the money to pay skanky anymore. This is another reason you should file.

OW has 800 friends on facebook, I contacted all with the same last name and some friends who live here in the US. Most of her friends are in the Philippines.

I've been talking to her sister. She says she can't make a conclusion as she hears from H and different from me about no divorce filing. I'm still talking to her. Im going to tell her if/when we get divorce, OW will be brought to court and must show records of $$$ recevied from H. My lawyer said it costs more but is doable.

What else can I do now?

Melody, on my first thread, you mentioned about bringing Ow to court... please reinstate so I can repeat in my email to OW's sister.

Thanks.

IDK if you want to take the time to contact more of the FB friends...but Filipinos have a great sense of shame and bringing shame to the family so could it make a difference? It might! Just food for thought.

If you do decided to nuclear FB bomb the OW, make sure to include a recent picture of your H with you and the baby, if it is date stamped that would be even better and be sure to include that your H & OW are lying to everyone about the D.

Melody, I found the bringing to court info from the first thread.

Susie, Do you think I should contact more on Facebook? her whole family and perhaps some relatives and friends already knew. Should I?

Yes, my facebook picture is of H with our daughter on her birthday, dated 1 week before exposure.

With 800 friends , if you have the patience try get through at least 50 though 200 sounds like a nice number. Just me I firmly believe in spreading good news.

Melody, it totally makes sense. I never thought of filing and then dragging... Very wise!

No, I can never wait for 2 years. Perhaps another 6 months at max.

I will contact the lawyer and get ready.

Please view my emails with Susie, should I email ow's mother and more friends on face book?

OK, below is my email to OW's sister.

"Hi N. You've been honest and fair - thank you. I respect your decision of not making a conclusion. You only know what my husband wants you to know. And you don�t know me enough to believe me. I hope to save my marriage but I don't want and can't force my husband. If he wants a divorce I won't stop him. If/when it comes to that end, by law, your sister will be brought to court to give testimony about her adultery. She will have to give sworn testimony about her affair with a married man. My in laws know about this affair now and although they love my husband, they disapprove his behavior and won�t accept your sister into the family.

The proper way is for your sister to back out and let him deal with our marriage. If/when we get divorced, then she can rejoin him if she still wants. Right now, she is interfering with the laws, a legal marriage and the lives of a wife, a little baby and many others.

I doubt your sister has ever met any of his family members, friends, co-workers � if it is a true and honest relationship, why hide and lie?

I will contact your mother also. Thanks N. I wish we didn�t have to get in contact in this ugly situation. But I appreciate your fairness

I also sent that email to OW's mother. In addition, I wrote ow's mother a personal message below.

Ms LD, You are a mother and I suppose you believe in God. What your daughter is doing is not acceptable. Sleeping with a married man, either in darkness or daylight is never right. I assume you did not know about H's marital status before, but now you know. I have a little daughter myself and I love her to death. I suppose you also love OW and want the best for her. Thank you

I've just talked to my best friend and she said i might have done too much and burnt all possible bridges for H's return.

Before exposure, H didn't have much love bank account for me and now there's none, just resentment and hate...

Did I do everything wrong? I didn't find out about this website until exposure process. Before that I guess I was doing similar to plan A but not consistantly. Is there anything I can do to gain some more positive points?

Help! Words of wisdom please.

I know your bf means well but most people don't know what they are talking about when they give advice regarding affairs.

You have been getting wonderful advice regarding your Plan B and you are moving in the right direction.

There's only so much you can do with a wayward. You exposed it to the light of day and chances are that the A will die w/n 2 yrs. I am more worried about your LB$ than your WH's at this point.

Then stop taking her advice.


You are doing just great! The only reason he resents you is because you interfered with his affair. Remember the goal here is to SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE, not to avoid his anger at all costs. Stop listening to your friends.

Yes, do what Susie says. She knows what she is talking about and has good instincts about this.

I would also send another email to the OW, her sister and her mother and tell them that your H's parents know all about the affair and she will never be allowed to darken their doorstep. Tell her that there is no future for her because she will be eternally hated by his family and by his child. Tell her-----> the whole family knows she is a promiscuous woman who sleeps with married men and was instrumental in breaking up a marriage.

Great, glad you weighed in on that, ML!

Madison, did you use the FB exposure form letter or did you use your own letter?

Exactly what I did. Pls read my emails to OW's sister and mother. I mentioned I will let H go if he wants a divorce. Is it a mistake to state so?