My h and I have been separated 5 weeks, he slept with the OW and a week later asked for a separation. I moved out the day that he asked for the separation, so haven't really had the opportunity to impliment plan A (unfortunately didn't know about it then).<BR>I went to visit him last night, and he says that our relationship has been over for him for some time. And he wants to be with OW but that is getting a bit messy at the mo. I asked last night if maybe I could return to our home, and if he would leave his job (OW is a part time co-worker). he heard what I was asking for, but he is wanting to know how things will develope between them first - sounds like addiction to me. We were both very civil with each other, no name calling or hysteria, although I did cry a bit - is that hysteria?<BR>Anyway, her on again/off again partner was the one who caught them together. She has a domestic protection order against him which is a couple of years old, he claims that he has never hit her - but emotional/mental abuse is still abuse. DPO is NZ gives a woman some protection supposably by allowing her to prevent the perpetrator from coming around her and if he breaches it, the police must hold him in the cells for 24 hours, adn continual breaches can lead to a prison term. Unfortuately they are not always as effective as they seem, given the nature of domestic violence. Her expartner rang me this week to say that he had punched my H last week, and then I later heard stories from some others that he had also assaulted the OW. Holy cow!!!! <BR>When I visited H last night, he said the ex came storming through the doors into the lounge where H was seated watching tv at OW house and just starting throwing punches and scratching at his face. H also tells me that there were threats of guns etc, it seems if the ex cannot have her, no one else can either. H doesn't want all this mess, but he would like a relationship with OW.<BR>I guess we are both now sitting on the sidelines wanting relationships with people that are somehow unavailable right now.<BR>I have rung his answer phone this morning to thank him for his honesty, and to suggest some things for the OW regarding her domestic abuse situation (my trade is law, although I am not doing that right now).<BR>Somehow I thought that we were different, and that by talking honestly he would want to reconcile and see if there is anything there still, ha, ha. From reading some of the other posts this is certainly only JUST beginning, and there is a long windy road ahead of us. I told H that I was planning an OE for next year, and he was happy about that, said it was something that I had always wanted - reminded him that what I really wanted was to make a homelife with him and start a family next year, and that I had always been willing to put the travel plans aside for that. Sounded to me like he thought that he was setting me free.<BR>It is our 2nd wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks (lived together now 6 years, and going out 2-3 years prior to that, so long time to chuck away without trying).<BR>What happens next??