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Pepper, why do i love and want to keep this man?
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Saphire, even if you think you may want to go to Plan D, your best bet is to get the proof and expose the As. This benefits you no matter what you choose and leaves your options open to you down the road should he express remorse and willingness to make changes. But to be dealing with a wayward with no plan in place is just like banging your head against a wall... 
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I just got a txt from my H. He said that he needed to think about life and was not coming home tonight. he said that he had a hotel room and that he loved me and my daughter. and that's it. what a coward. doesn't even have the guts to call.
we are supposed to be having a weekend getaway tomorrow after he gets off work. i had a feeling he'd be coming home late tonight, but i never thought he'd do this.
i can't imagine he is actually going to be by himself. My fist reaction to this txt was deep pain and sadness, now I feel rather numb right now. any thoughts or suggestions anyone?
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I just got a txt from my H. He said that he needed to think about life and was not coming home tonight. he said that he had a hotel room and that he loved me and my daughter. and that's it. what a coward. doesn't even have the guts to call.
we are supposed to be having a weekend getaway tomorrow after he gets off work. i had a feeling he'd be coming home late tonight, but i never thought he'd do this.
i can't imagine he is actually going to be by himself. My fist reaction to this txt was deep pain and sadness, now I feel rather numb right now. any thoughts or suggestions anyone? He needs to 'think about life', does he? Have you exposed this yet? Do you have any idea who the OW is? I did a fast read of your thread and didn't see anything. He is spending the night "thinking about life" while he's boinking his girlfriend. You need to expose this - I'm sorry if I missed exposure - have you exposed?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Hey, mb, she doesn't have proof of the A, only a past one although she is certain he has been having an A since January.
Saphire, it's too darn bad that you didn't put a VAR/GPS in the car, you could have followed him and gotten your proof.
Are you ready to start putting Plan A into place yet?
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Hey, mb, she doesn't have proof of the A, only a past one although she is certain he has been having an A since January.
Saphire, it's too darn bad that you didn't put a VAR/GPS in the car, you could have followed him and gotten your proof.
Are you ready to start putting Plan A into place yet? So it's pretty evident he's in one now. My question is what Saph has done about her husband's affair. Saph, what have you done to uncover who this OW is? Because he most certainly is with someone.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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yes susie. wish i had that gps. but, i haven't ordered it yet. he may come home or not, and say he's ready to move out. i don't know what is going to happen tomorrow.
we were supposed to go away somewhere, but now i have no idea what i should do tomorrow. right now i am numb, but will i be crying tomorrow. i don't know.
i just don't know what to do right now or tomorrow.
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I believe you can go into BestBuy and get a GPS NOW! There is more info in Operation Investigation forums.
Ignore all of his fogbabble. All you need to know is that you need to get proof and find out who the OW is so that you can get to work on killing this affair.
We just had a poster kill his affair this afternoon because he exposed. His name is Shattered. Look at the thread.
Exposure kills affairs but we can't even get you to that step because you have been dragging your feet on getting your evidence. Fight for your marriage...Get moving!
Last edited by SusieQ; 05/05/11 07:17 PM.
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MB i have no idea who it is. My H is so locked down and secure, i don't know how in the world i could find out.
should i drive to the local hotels and see if i can find him?
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Here, I went and found it for you, the Little Buddy at Best Buy: Little Buddy [$50.00 at Best Buy] here Spark Nano Real-Time GPS Tracking Device here CoDriver O [this one looks fabulous!] here
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MB i have no idea who it is. My H is so locked down and secure, i don't know how in the world i could find out.
should i drive to the local hotels and see if i can find him? Yes, drive by the hotels. Bring your camera in case. If you don't find him, go to Best Buy and get the GPS and the VAR...
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i thought about going by hotels, but will that really do me any good. i'd have to sit there all night long. and is he there right now. could they be at a restaurant eating dinner right now?
and what if his gf leaves before he does. then what? so many what ifs
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what if he's actually there by himself, thinking about life. how do i explain why i would be there stalking him?
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yes susie. wish i had that gps. but, i haven't ordered it yet. he may come home or not, and say he's ready to move out. i don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Can you call your credit card companies and review recent charges to find out what hotel he is staying at? Check credit card charges online? Checking account online? His email account? (I often make our hotel reservations online and get a receipt in my email.) If it were me, I'd find out where that hotel is, get someone to keep the child, and be out there snapping pictures!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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SaphireGlow - breathe in and breathe out. Just breathe for awhile.
Is there a friend that could come over to comfort you or a family member you could call and talk to?
I know your mind is going a little crazy right now but just breathe.
You can do this. I dont think running around looking for him is going to help you any except to know where he is.
You can do this! Be strong for yourself.
Me - 46
Wife - 43
2 x DD
Married 18 yrs - known each other for 22 yrs
Woke up 12/2009 and realized I was an idiot for neglecting my WIFE!
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how do i explain why i would be there stalking him? You are his wife and you belong with him tonight. You don't have to explain why you would be close to him. His behavior is what is unjustified and needs explaining (and cannot be explained), not yours.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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i thought about going by hotels, but will that really do me any good. i'd have to sit there all night long. and is he there right now. could they be at a restaurant eating dinner right now? So check more than once.  and what if his gf leaves before he does. then what? so many what ifs Then you didn't get him tonight, and you keep working at it. Waywards are incredibly sloppy at covering their tracks. You will catch him sooner or later.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I tried this when my H was visiting his relatives and sent me a text saying he decided to spend the night. It may work for you. I called and told him that the furnace went out (it was November). Would your H respond to a "household emergency" to get him home in a hurry?
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Saphire, you are going to be more proactive here. You are in the midst of a war and you are going to have to fight for your M. Are you willing to do some work?
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