I would DEMAND that she end contact with the OM and this losertard coworker. She is destructive to your marriage has to go. No more taking that loser to work or going out. What you should be telling your wife AFTER YOU EXPOSE THE AFFAIR, is that if she doesn't lose the OM and her stupid, scumbag friend, is that she needs to pack up leave because this will lead to divorce.

See, your wife KNOWS you are so desperate and needy that you won't lift a finger to stop her. As such, she has NO MOTIVATION to stop her abuse. If you want to save your marriage, you are going to have to give her that motivation and RAISE THE BAR IN A SERIOUS WAY.

You need to show your wife that you are serious about your marriage, because up til now you have NOT. Your complacence has reflected a lack of caring for your marriage. Nothing will change until that changes.

Have you told your kids yet?

Also, have you exposed to the OM's parents and family? If my son were acting so trashy, you can bet I would be intervening real quick. Telling the OM's parents will ruin the future of the affair because your wife will be too embarrassed to show her face.

I did expose my WW, but I have not determined if the OM is married or not, I will research it and then expose to her, the children and I will confront the OM.

When confronting the OM, are you saying confront via phone or in person?

Good man!! I would most certainly confront the OM in person. Leave your pistol in the car. [if you wear a holster, you can keep that on] You might want to bring a GREAT BIG FRIEND with you in case you have the urge to punch him out. Your friend can hold you back.

I would also get the name of the OM's parents and expose to them. Do you have that?

Yes, I have that, but i'm not sure his white trash family would care either way. I will still expose to them though.

I would gather all this contact information and plan one big exposure on the SAME DAY. Perhaps you could drive to the OM's house on Friday, expose to his wife and then drive to a coffee shop and start making phone calls until you are done. When you get home, sit your kids down and give them all the facts about your wife's affair.

Once you are all done, I would have a serious talk with your wife and let her know how it is going to be, that if she doesn't end contact with the OM and her trashy friend that this will lead to divorce.

Sad Dad, you don't need to expose your WW's affair to her - she already knows she's having one. I assume what you're trying to say is that you confronted her with the details of what you knew, yes?

Get this loser's name. Let us know when you have it and then we'll help you with info on how to track down his wife and family.

Please listen to what we're saying this time, okay?

I have the OM's name and where he lives. I don't have where he works or if he's still married or not.

Have you checked to see if OM has a FB page? If it's public you could check the marital status.

Have you checked sites like spokeo and intelius?

Also if you can get the phone number, you can block your phone using *67 and see if a woman answers or what names are on the answering machine announcment.

I'd say today is a good day for a nice little country drive. Or city drive. Or whatever drive is required that will land you in front of loser's house. Knock on the door. If a woman answers it's probably his wife. Have a chat.

If there's no answer, listen. Is there a dog barking inside? Good. That means someone will have to come home sooner, rather than later, to let the dog out. Look around. Do you see any toys in the back yard? Bikes leaning against the house? An above ground kiddy pool? These are obvious signs of children, who may well be school-aged. Go kill a few hours or however long it takes for school to let out, then go back and knock again. Ask them if their mommy is home.

Sad, we've had posters here who have managed to expose to the other BS when they lived in different states. Surely you can take a short car ride?

You may be able to find out if he is still married and to whom by exposing to their mutual friends. If this is an old boyfriend of your WWs, they should have some mutual friends. Have you checked classmates.com?

When you expose to his parents ask them to pass your info onto his W or girlfriend and leave your contact info.

I would also give the affair-supporter-friend a cease and desist call.

You know that you need to expose to everyone at the same time, right? And yes, you re-expose to everyone you have exposed to. Time is really of the essence here, you need to do this today.

My H's A ended the day I nuclearly exposed. You can be done with this drama today if you do this properly.

His house is only 16 minutes from my work place and I just drove by while on lunch. His truck was there and there was a kids playset and a kids bike by the steps. The place is such a white trash palace just off the highway, down from an industrial area. We live in a nice suburb of a small town an hour and twenty minutes away in another state. Why the hell would she stoop SO low?

Does anyone have any ideas about how to get rid of the toxic friend? My WW told me (about 8 months ago) her friend (let's call her Amy) has been chatting with another man and couldn't get rid of him, but looking back I believe Amy only corrupted my WW.

Though this is an ex-boyfriend of my WW, they did not go to school together. He was only visiting some relatives in the area when they met and then continued dating for about a year.

Also, he does not "do" computers in any way. I've researched it and haven't found anything and my WW stated it was one of the things she found attractive about him since I'm a bit of techie.

Okay, Sad, where there are kids, there's a mom. Did you say you've got the house telephone number? You need to call her.

I do not have the home #, just his cell phone#.

Did you knock on the door and tell the wife about the affair???

No one answered the door. I took some photos and then went back to work.

Make a plan to go back on Saturday morning, do not give up , persistence will pay off.

What if the OM answers the door? Should I confront and drop the bomb that my high maintenance WW (for him, it's within our means)will not be coming with any $$?

I have listened to her Fog-babble for weeks now and it's been spot on from what I've read on here. Things have changed a bit in the last few days, but I'm concerned it's just a ruse to get me to relax. I'm not sure.