Here is my story:
Mar 23 2011: Had foun out 3 days prior, my husband of 5 years (father to my 2 and 4 year olds) had been have a 4 month affair with a woman he dated and lived with 18 years ago. They actaly split up because she cheated on him! Anyway, I packed his [censored] in 10 trash bags and when he arrived home he was surprised to say the least when I told him I knew. He didnt deny anything. He didnt beg stay either. I told him he did not live here anymore. (He works out of town in a travel trailer often so I knew he had a place to stay). Aftr two weeks of misery and some productive conversations, he moved home. He was so sorry and did no want to lose us. She never called or texted so I kept asking him why because they had been talking over an hour a day and texting almost 200 texts a day. He admitted to calling her from a payphone twice (lied numerous times about this until I pulled it out of him).
Icried and made him talk to me about it over and over every night. I felt like he wouldnt tell me anything. Just answered my questions. Would not open up and just tell me what they shared together. He admitted to the sex and talking often. I dont know what I wanted him to say really either.
The weeks went by and we were making progress, haveing alot of sex and I felt loved again. I still could not get past why she was not calling him thugh. So, this past Thursday, his GPS tracker showed he was like a block from her house. I freaked out and called him and he lies and says he was working up north and bla blah bla. So I ask him why the Google Latitude shows he is at her house. He comes up wih this story that he is with his boss picking up parts and goes on about how he wanted to buy me flowers and it was a surprise so that is why he lied. I just dont know because the GPS is often wrong. I will go do a test drive today to see how close to her house I can be to show that location. It did show he was there for over an hour. I drove by later and her car was not there.
Even before this, I was so confused because we have just drifted back apart and I dont want to have sex with him or talk to him. We are barely speaking and I am disgusted to even look at him. I dont want to be around him. Does this mean I want a divorce? It has only been a month and a half and I know I am getting impatient. He was doing everything right the first few weeks. Then something changed. I dont know if I bugged him too much for questions or what. He kind of shut down again. It's like he was during the affair. Present but not really. I am going to buy a voice recorder becausae I feel there has to be a secret phone. Hopefully that will give me some peace. I just dont know what I am feeling. I feel like I was hurt then angry and now I am just blah. I dont really know if I still love him because he disgusts me.

Im not one to give advice so I will leave that to the vets but I will tell you that latitude is bad. Goto mylookout.com. it is a virus program but the "find my phone" option is great. It will even turn the gps on if you have it off for powersaving. It is not hidden but you can turn the noifications off so it is not on the main screen of the android phone.

There are more out there that are stealth programs but I could not afford them.

NQS, I would definitely put a VAR in his car and get a more reliable GPS. I believe he was at the OW's house, though and is lying.

If you find he is still in contact, I would strongly suggest you go into Plan B, which is a pitch black separation. He will drive you crazy with his affair, otherwise.

Another thing you can do is expose the affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy so exposure is ruinous. Expose to his family, friends and to the OW's family and friends. Ask your MIL to contact this skank and run her off. The best way to expose to the OW's family is via her facebook account. Copy and paste all her fb friends into a word doc. Send them all a private message telling them about the affair. [we have a sample letter]\

Sorry you are here.

I immediately told his family and mine. I never called the OW or anyone else for that matter. She is not the one who broke vows. She is divorced. I guess I should have done the Facebook thing when I had the chance. She unfriended him the day after exposure. I cannot find her on FB anymore either. She must have me blocked.
I do think he is still in contact with her. The more I think about it, we live in a VERY large city so for google maps to show he was 1 block from her house and then he lied about his whereabouts, its just too obvious, is it not? He was supposed to be working 45 miles north of where she lives and even if he was picking up tools from his work center, that is still no where in that area! CRAP! I just dont think if he is still in contact that I want anything to do with him anymore. And even if he is not, why would I stay with a cheater?
When we were dating, I caught him obsessively calling these dating/phonesex lines. Of course I was so naive at the time and believed he would never hurt me again. Proved me wrong! There also was this chat in his email with someone in which she asked him for his screen name on MIU (when googled, its a flirt, chat, meet site), he replied "in a rutt". He says he has no recollection of that even though obviously he was looking for something! He is a liar! Why would I stay with someone who has hurt me so badly? I am a happy, loving person and that is not how I am feeling anymore! I cannot be a good mom when I am so miserable and crazy!
I purshasec cellphonerecon but it also goes off google maps and also showed he was near her house! He also went on the defensive and said he was leaving work so we would talk. He met me and the kids at the park and he said he was so sorry for lying and he just wanted to surprise me with flowers. He denied being that close to her house anyway.

The way around this is to sign up a new facebook account and get her friends list. And we realize you are not married to her, but she is sleeping with your H. If you expose to her family and friends, it will ruin any potential future with your H. You might want to also confront the OW and try and run her off.

I would strongly suggest you make plans to go into Plan B. Your H sounds like a serial cheater who doesn't have the slightest interest in fidelity. Have you been tested for STDs?

What can I text her to make her think that I know they are still talking but yet I can find out if they are?
Maybe " Quit talking to my husband. We are trying to work things out!" Then she will say either she has not spoken to him or that he is the one calling her. But then she will also tip off my husband that I am texting her. . . HELP! I am a crazy person here!

Did you read my posts about exposing the affair? I don't see the point of sending the OW a text.

I did expose to his family and a friend of his (who just happened to stop by when I dropped the bomb that I knew!) I created a new FB account but still cannot find her on there so I have no way to expose her or know who her family is.
I posted about texting her because I thought you said I should confront her. I would also like to here from her whether they are still in contact.
I got the voice recorder yesterday and tried to put it in his truck twice but was too afraid of getting caught and could not find a good place. Our window out front faces his truck so he could easily see me. May have to wait until the weekend for him to work onthe yard to place it properly. I am going out to Target tonight with the kids so I am going to leave it on in the living room to see if he calls her.
How much do polygraphs cost about? I am thinking maybe the only way I can get past this is to hear from a pro whether or not he is still lying. (Well, I know he is still lying since he lied about where he was Thursday!)

MelodyLane, I do appreciate your advice and have read through MANY of your posts on this site. Thank you!

That is not confronting her. That just signals that you are scared of her. If you want to confront her, go to her house.


A polygraph is about $450-$600.