new keyboard but still cannot type. will install firefox, thanks for the tip!

how would you suggest i update my sig line?

just "way too many to type"? suggestions?

Chicka - good day for you - sorry to be late on the uptake on your question on who it was who said "I don't have to be married that badly" - that was me. 14 years ago this month.

Tell him we like him and said to get his [censored] on here.

He asked if "my Friends" posted anything, that was funny, at least i dont feel like i am lying about what i am doing online, and i can look and post with freedom. We will work on him, should he see my post or know my name?

he ended the night with, i had a good day, thanks- i woke up in the middle and he came down to see if i was ok. that was nice.

now the problem is me, how do i get back to the program. my mind is such a trigger, i am the elephant and i remember everything, so it all keeps playing over and over. maybe i am still unsure that its not all out (poly is wednesday), or maybe i dont know if i can get over it, i just dont know what is holding me back- i know its new news again, but i jumped pretty fast the first 2 times. this eating sleeping thing is hard.

ps. the OW#1, still dont know how to post them ( the bunnie burner) was searching for me online, I got an email from mylife saying that she was, great way to start the day. also fathers death anniversary, and i woke up at the exact time he died this AM, for a man who was never around, maybe he was knocking at my brain- or my mom nudged him.

Aw, man! Does this mean we have to clean up and be on our best behavior??

You two did great on the radio show!

not at all! he needs a bit of reality and he can take it, didnt you hear the NY accent on him.

had a good weekend.. but was a bit down yesterday.

is there something written about fog of the BS? i am struggling to get out of the my fog now, he is right there, doing it all, no fog for him, actually he wont let me go- physicaly just constant hugging.... like if he lets me go i may leave or something. he open and talking, trying to take care of me. but my mind is just racing. i am very unsure. maybe just dead tired- slept for 10 hrs.

at least before i felt like i was the driver, now i dont know. it this normal for the BS? that once its all done you just crash?

If there is something please post a link. I'm not there anymore but I remember it.

I think for my part I was just thinking "ok, dont open up becuase the next bus is around the corner just waiting to hit me". Well that bus never came back and I started opening back up again. I remember telling my FWH (so happy to add the F)I was sorry I was so distant and could tell he was trying I just could not seem to get my head straight. I remember thinking it felt like a fog. I just thought it was the meds I had taken to calm me.

Remember it is an emotional ......




Yes.
Allow your H to be the safe place for you to fall apart.
He will know that you need him. Very powerful motivator for most men.
He will know he has a purpose, also very powerful.

It gets better. I promise.
I pinky promise.

I'd agree with that analogy!

pep- you promised, pinky swear is big!.... i see what you are saying. it def is a motivator. is he plan a-ing me now???

just waiting on the bus still, maybe it will get easier like the last 3 time, its just alot to digest. we have the wednesday poly, so still waiting.

counselor thinks we could write a book if this works she has not see something like us, good or bad dont know how to take that. regardless once the panic and sleep are in check i will be ok.

can someone write a BS emotion post, i love the lyrics post- i have about 10 to post.

havent asked him to post at this point letting him think about things, get stronger and stand on his own, in our own life for the first time. make sense>?

uggh listened to the radio- is that me? so strange to hear yourself, where is that broadcast? regardless i hope it helps someone out there.

poly tomorrow............ i am dreading this, he is excited. (ok - i will just except that) let him look at the forum last night he saw what i got about it. he guessed my name immediately, guess i have to stop calling the pets chicken...

looked at the begining of my posts made him sad, was that wrong?

he told me he would post if i wanted him to, i told him, he could if he thought it would be good for him. thoughts??? ok he is worse than me on typing, and he has no fake nails. havent switched browzers i am ust to faithful to IE.

Wouldn't hurt, he might get something out of it and be able to discuss things that he isn't quite sure how to broach with you yet.

I think the rule is that you would both stay off each other's threads, not reading or commenting on them.

i will follow the rules.

the bus is on the corner today... hope it doesnt hit me again.

i will try to be more positive

Will be thinking of you today. {{{chicka}}}

Thoughts are with you. Hoping all the busses ran out of gas. Let us know how it goes.

the bus had no gas, he passed very high. the appointment scheduling got it all out of him i guess ( but who knew since i had so many false starts), so a sigh for now, but you know my mind it tick tick ticking.

note to WS's please do not ever let it get to the point where your BS has to resort to a poly, your BS's have given you all opportunities to come clean and you dont over and over, please do.. driving out to the appointment over an hour was painful, speaking to a stranger about what has happened, painful and embarrassing, looking at your WS, as you leave the room- to the unknown, heartbreaking. Waiting in the lobby with the receptionist looking at you for over 1 1/2 hours- all the while she know why you are there, embarrassing again. just tell your BS, dont drag your life into the rut of a criminal, thats what these poly people do all day- catch criminals. dont do it to your spouse and dont do it to yourself.


Probably one of the lowest points in my life. - i dont know if i will ever look back and laugh.

he did apoloigize for putting me thru it.


I guess the option is recovery for me.

btw- what does a post nup agreement look like? i would like to add that to the list of EP.