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So legally, is my behind in the clear? Free from accusations of harassment, invasion of privacy, etc?
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You aren't harassing, are ya?
You just send info through to the other side. You are merely a conduit of communication. Period.
Simple info. Edit out emotional or disrespectful muck.
Legally, if the wayward were to be nasty, your clear, simple, respectful emails would be obviously what they are. Help for the spouses to communicate important data.
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No, not harassing. Just what you saw that i posted. thanks
CV
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It's kinda funny to see my whole drama unfolding here on the site. I will tell you that she promptly left me a message which was immediately deleted. She'll get it sooner or later. She's a super control freak in the fog. I think that's an especially bad combination.
I knew she would hate it. She has lost total control of me when she never really had it in the first place.
Also, with the help of my IM, I am thoroughly convinced that exposure should and will take place. I think I will drop the bomb either tonight or tomorrow.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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It's kinda funny to see my whole drama unfolding here on the site. I will tell you that she promptly left me a message which was immediately deleted. She'll get it sooner or later. She's a super control freak in the fog. I think that's an especially bad combination.
I knew she would hate it. She has lost total control of me when she never really had it in the first place.
Also, with the help of my IM, I am thoroughly convinced that exposure should and will take place. I think I will drop the bomb either tonight or tomorrow. Your IM seems like a really handsome and cool guy. Dazzling personality and charming wit. ;-) On a serious note, make sure any email you send is through the IM too. even if she avoids responding to the IM, she will see you're serious. CV
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So, you are in Plan B then? Did you send the letter?
CV, I know that you don't know what to do as an IM. My suggestion is to not ask for help with IM duties on this thread. You writing what his WW said in an email is nothing that he needs to know. Don't get me wrong, I commend you for helping, you will just need to find a new way to find out what you need to know that will allow Mark not to find out what his WW is saying.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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On a serious note, make sure any email you send is through the IM too. even if she avoids responding to the IM, she will see you're serious.
CV I will. You don't have to worry about that. When I stated that she had left a message earlier, it was a voicemail which she had left promptly after getting home from work. And she must have hightailed it too because she works 30 mins away, gets off at 4:30, and the message was left at 4:44. I didn't listen. Just erased it.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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CV, I know that you don't know what to do as an IM. My suggestion is to not ask for help with IM duties on this thread. You writing what his WW said in an email is nothing that he needs to know. Don't get me wrong, I commend you for helping, you will just need to find a new way to find out what you need to know that will allow Mark not to find out what his WW is saying. LOL... ok. I'm showing that I'm a greenhorn here... thanks for the gentle admonition. Maybe start a new thread? CV
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Okay, so here is the final draft of my exposure letter. I have made some slight modifications to the original and added a biblical perspective so that my intentions would not be misconstrued as being vengeful:
Dear friend or family of WW,
I am writing this to ask you to support me in my fight to save my family. But I also write in hopes that your influence may at the least reconcile WW back to God.
You may not know it, but WW is in another adulterous affair. I say another because I found out in November about a one night stand she had in September. Since the day we separated for the �space� she had asked for, she has been on 2 dating websites listed as a single woman. I have copies of some of the correspondence with these men. Most of the correspondence I have is from before she filed for divorce. She has sent explicit pictures to at least 3 men (I saw the pictures), had sexual conversations with others, and recently even told me that she has a new boyfriend and that she likes him and we are not even divorced yet. She also said what she is doing doesn�t affect our daughter because she doesn�t do it in front of her.
While all this began prior to her filing, she filed for divorce because I contacted a man she had shown pictures of to her girlfriends and was planning on meeting and I told him she was married. He cut her off that day because she lied about being divorced (again, I have proof). She was so mad I did this; she went and filed the next day. I was saddened beyond belief.
I cannot hope to save my marriage while WW is engaged in adultery. You may think I�m crazy for still loving her in spite of my knowledge of what she�s done, but I�m supposed to love her no matter what, right? I have constantly been in prayer asking God to extend his grace and mercy towards her.
I know you care about her and want only the best for her and our daughter, which clearly being in an adulterous affair is not. Unfortunately she has chosen to misrepresent the truth of her adultery to me as well as to some of her other family and friends. She has lied to several people including Pastor xxxx about what she�s been doing.
I�d appreciate any support in trying to put my family back together and at the very least, I�m hopeful that your guidance will turn her away from these adulterous activities and that she will recommit herself to Christ.
Thank you,
marksaysay
What do you guys think??? Is is too long?
Last edited by marksaysay; 05/11/11 07:48 PM.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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I do think it is way too long and full of too much for people to absorb and want to help. Here is my edit job that you can look over and ruminate on: Dear friend or family of WW,
I am writing this to ask you to support me in my fight to save my family.
You may not know it, but WW is cheating. I found out in November about a one night stand she had in September.
I then discovered she is involved with several men through online websites.
I cannot hope to save my marriage while WW is engaged in adultery.
I know you care about her and want only the best for her and our daughter, which clearly being in an adulterous affair is not.
I�d appreciate any support in trying to put my family back together.
Thank you,
marksaysay[/color]
What do you guys think??? Is is too long?
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Thanks reading, I understand your view. I just wanted to eliminate any idea that I have an evil or vengeful intent when I blast this out. We have been separated for 7 months and are far along in the divorce process and I wanted to eliminate all doubt as to my purpose.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Reading's edit was pretty good.
I would add this back into the end:
I�d appreciate any support in trying to put my family back together and at the very least that she will recommit herself to Christ.
cv
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I realized that on FB, you can send a message to several people at once. Should I do it this way or send the messages individually?
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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I think individually is best!
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BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 637
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bomb has been dropped....
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Great!
Now, you've thought of all the ways she may try to contact you and blocked her, right?
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Yeah, I just forward her emails to IM. Her calls are unanswered and her messages and texts are just deleted. The only other way is to come to my apartment and I'm not usually home until 9 or 10.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Mark, you are doing the right thing. Don't forget that.
Why not change the email addy? Also, what about texts, calls etc? And what will you do is she shows up somewhere where you are?
Your WW WILL be angry about this. We usually tell people that it is like the girl in The Exorcist. She will tell you that she hates you and that she is NEVER coming back.
You may also have people who you expose to, be angry with you. Don't worry about that. Remember, you are doing the right thing.
Stay Strong. And, stay in Plan B.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I know and believe in my heart I am doing the right thing. As far as the email, I think I will change it. She changed hers after I cracked it to find the "dirt" and won't give me the new one. She only emails me during work hours through her work email.
Now the phone, I'm not sure what to do there. I can't afford to change now. I can't afford a prepaid. Heck, I'm so broke, I can't even change my mind. LOL. I will just have to continue to delete messages and disregard calls.
I don't know what she'll do if she shows up at apartment or work. Well, at work, they would have to call for me to come to the front (I work at a school) and I can just simply tell them that I'm not speaking with her and to just ask her to leave.
As for my apartment, I can just not answer the door. Any other suggestions?
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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