What does this mean?

It's basically a cyberhug-consolation.

How are things going? Ever hear anything from your exposure?

No. I don't know if people have got the message or not. It wouldn't surprise me if they said nothing.

You know, I was thinking about what you said several posts ago about not really getting an opportunity to Plan A properly. I think that's what makes this such an odd situation. I started out from the very beginning doing everything wrong because I didn't know what was really going on.

I can't really go back, though. I'll just have to move forward with the way things are now. I'm thankful for all the help I've gotten from you and everyone here.

Still got a ways to go....

Got another call and message from WW this morning. Again they were unanswered and deleted. Also got a text. The problem with texts is I can delete them without partially viewing them so I guess I will just let it remain on phone without viewing. Any suggestions?

Don't know if this may be something to do with DD or exposure or what but I'm not responding or answering anything. If she wants to contact me, she knows how to do it.

Just got yet another call and message. They both got the same treatment. I'm beginning to think it may have something to do with exposure but I can't be sure. I do know she hasn't called me this much in a short time span in forever.

Ask a trusted friend to record the performance for you.
That same friend can present your DD with a small bouquet of flowers, with a note from you:

"Let's watch your performance together and celebrate!"

Only idea I have Mark is to send a briefer shorter note through the IM.

Something to the effect of:

Dear WW,

Please remember the only way to contact me is through the IM.

Sincerely,

BH


Other may want to chime in. Maybe simply ignoring the messages is a better route?

Cv

Without a doubt.

IGNORE

It seems her calls and such were about DD. She just came to my apartment and left some things on my door. Nonetheless, contact has been arranged and her method was not accepted.

CV, I like your idea but the problem is she won't get the message 'til monday because she hasn't given me her new email address because of what happened before. She doesn't know that I've known it for a while but won't use it since she didn't give it to me. She emails only from work now.

Unless there is a true emergency, WW can communicate via the IM.

Found out something interesting today. Her favorite professor from college and one whom she and another former classmate often meet for lunch to catch up has been at the mediation firm in charge of handling our case since last October. The correspondence from yesterday stated that he is now our mediator. I don't know if that can be possible. Wouldn't that be a conflict?

Likewise, I am willing to bet she has access to her work email via webmail.

Indeed!
It is a HUGE conflict of interest.

Make your complaint/protest in writing.

Go directly to the top of the company's hierarchy.

That's pretty much what I thought. This is similar to our first delay. The original judge had to recuse himself because he was also one of her professors.

On another note, just watched DD tryout for the local gymnastics team. She's been doing it since about 18 months. Shes very good at it and she did a fantastic job. They've been trying to get her on the team for a while. Again, I was the proud papa.

I would bet the same thing.

Well, today was an enjoyable with DD. Watched her tryout for the gymnastics team, went to McDonald's playland again, played a few games, wrestled, and just had fun.

I will admit that my mind did wonder to WW and what she was doing. It's so hard to not think about her and OM. Is this normal? Why can't I just stop thinking about her and OM? Why can't I stop wondering what she's doing?

It's amazing the number of people on another forum that talk about "just letting them go". In principle, it sounds so easy but realistically, it's not. I've told myself many times to just let go and move on, but it's sooo hard.

I had to tell DD that I didn't want her to use the speakerphone feature on her phone. She called WW while on the way to gymnastics and just hearing her voice made many different thoughts emerge.

This is the time you should pick up books that help you focus on you.

I am enjoying HNHN, Fall In love | Stay in Love, and the Bible. I am a knitter, so I find taking that to places were my mind can wonder does me a lot of good.

You can also learn to play a musical instrument or go back to school.

Your life is all yours at the moment. Find things you enjoy doing and just do ...

One day at a time ... just keep remembering you will be in completely different place by July 4th!!! Stay Dark!!!

Well, most of the things above I already do. I'm a glutton for information, so reading has always been something that I've done. The bible is an absolute for me as a minister. I have also been playing the piano since 8 and I'm currently learning to play jazz.

At this point, I don't know if I really want to read any more relationship books because 1) I've read several over the last 6+ months and I've learned tons. 2) They seem to make me take a couple steps back because they trigger thoughts about my relationship.

On the other thread where you made the same July 4th statement, my reply was simply that I hope I'm at a very different place. July 4th is a very important period. WW's family reunion is the 2nd, of course there is the 4th and the family tradition we'd created, the 7th is WW's bday, and the 11th is DD's bday. I really hope I will be at a different place because that week plus has been huge for the past 11 yrs.

I am having a hard time getting to sleep. Why do I feel like by going plan b, I've just given WW license to just go wild as if she already hasn't. It just feels so odd in that I told her to just do whatever she wants to do. I know I can't control it but it's tough.

You are going through your own withdrawal from WW. Similar to what you want her to do and go through getting rid of affair partner.

All your emotions and the sensations are normal.

Thinking about her, hearing her voice, trouble sleeping, second guessing going to plan B.

Normal.

No fun. Nope.

Normal.