b

Yes, you definitely should NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE.

What in the world made you ask what you would need to fix in the next relationship? If someone asked me that I would think they are not committed to the R they are currently involved in.

What are some of the one liners she is giving you? And precipitates the remark?

Are yall working on being O&H? Because it doesnt sound like it, when I hear she is saying we are getting along to well to hurt you. BC if that was my STXH that said that my comment would be keeping it inside is too hurtful not to deal with it... see what I'm saying? Make sense to you what I'm saying?
I dont think you can compare your marital counseling relationship with another couples... where there maybe similarities there are also differences...

I commonly use the same one-liners with my kids, like when they dont turn their work in and get a bad grade, my one-liner is "hmmm, what's you plan to fix that situation?" or "That's too bad."

hydin, I went back and re-read your other thread.

It sounds like your wife is having an affair. But you seem very confident that she is not. One of your big "reasons" is because her underwear is old and doesn't match. I have a big news flash for you - new, matching underwear is not a pre-requisite for having an affair.

You also say that she's still fat. Another news flash - affairs are not limited to people who are thin.

Here's the deal...I believe your wife is having an affair. It may be with someone at her part-time job or with her counselor. It may be an old flame from her past. Since she only works part-time, she has plenty of hours in the day while you are still at work to spend time with the OM (also it could be another woman).

In your post you said:


I don't understand what this is. Was this a text you found on your wife's phone? From someone called "Homer McDonald?"

Could you please explain? Because somebody who is offering to help your wife move into an apartment obviously is pretty involved.

b

Hydin, you can't follow three different philosophies all at the same time. If I'm reading your posts correctly, you are trying to read and follow:

1. The ideas presented here in Marriage Builders AND
2. The methods of Homer McDonald who wrote Stop Your Divorce! AND
3. The advice from Michele Weiner Davis, author of Divorce Busting.

This won't work. These methods/philosophies of saving your marriage are not compatible. I'd suggest that you pick one author and try actually doing it their way. As it is, you're flopping around doing things half-heartedly and accomplishing nothing but driving your wife further away from you.

If you want helpful advice here on the Marriage Builders forum, then you need to do what you've been told to do - find the affair.

b