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Struggling, stay on your own thread. You don't need to set the record straight on this thread. There is quite a bit on your own thread, however, that you can (and probably SHOULD) address.
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Hey all,
Caught my ww texting the om yesterday--I had to call the OM to get the truth because ww once again lied. I have warned her that if she did ever contact him our marriage would be over so it is. I will move out in the next couple days. Have already been in touch with a lawyer.
I think she wanted to get caught because she knew I checked her phone logs daily--she would never commit to the marriage or divorce--what a sad person who would do this kind of stuff to somebody else!!! AND HER KIDS!!!!!!
Me-BH-39
WW-34 (Strugglingaz)
Married 7-dated 3 previous
D-10
D-6
1st D-day-2-26-11 2nd D-day-5-17-11
NC-3-9-11---Broke 4-2-11, 4-8-11-,5-16-11 Maybe more
BH-Filed for D-5-17-2011
Divorced 2-21-2012
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so sorry InnerStrength.
Sometimes they have to go through the process of losing everything before they feel the loss their mistakes have created.........
First of all why are you moving out? Make her go if she has a different idea of what life is going to be like for her, that way the kids can stay in the home they are in...
Go to a lawyer and take care of yourself financially and take care of the children....that is your only concern right now......be firm but cordial, but don't let her push you around.........
Just keep telling her that you have no choice but to protect yourself now....
Keep coming her for help through this process and gather strength from others who have already learned the lessons you might want to avoid.
hugs........jessi
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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so sorry InnerStrength.
Sometimes they have to go through the process of losing everything before they feel the loss their mistakes have created.........
First of all why are you moving out? Make her go if she has a different idea of what life is going to be like for her, that way the kids can stay in the home they are in...
Go to a lawyer and take care of yourself financially and take care of the children....that is your only concern right now......be firm but cordial, but don't let her push you around.........
Just keep telling her that you have no choice but to protect yourself now....
Keep coming her for help through this process and gather strength from others who have already learned the lessons you might want to avoid.
hugs........jessi Prayin for ya brother... Remember, all the work you did wasn't wasted. You are a better man for it.
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I'm so sorry to hear that, IS...
FWW
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
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Hey all,
Caught my ww texting the om yesterday--I had to call the OM to get the truth because ww once again lied. I have warned her that if she did ever contact him our marriage would be over so it is. I will move out in the next couple days. Have already been in touch with a lawyer.
I think she wanted to get caught because she knew I checked her phone logs daily--she would never commit to the marriage or divorce--what a sad person who would do this kind of stuff to somebody else!!! AND HER KIDS!!!!!! IS, SO sorry to hear this. Why are you the one moving out???? Your kids need you!
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I need to be more blunt. DO NOT move out. Do WW's folks live nearby? Have they been supportivee of you through this? Can you ask them to pick her up?
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IS ~ DO NOT MOVE OUT.
That is a grave mistake. SHE needs to go. The courts do not look kindly on a man who has moved out (abandonment).
I am so sorry this has happened.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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I have been afraid of this the whole time. I had a gut feeling this is what was going on.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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***EDIT***
There was a poster NoName a few years ago and his W was like yours. He packed up her stuff and had her parents come get her and after a short time, she ended up coming out of the fog and commited to recovery.
hang in there!!
Last edited by MBWillow; 05/18/11 10:49 AM. Reason: TMI
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You did a great Plan A. So sorry it didn't work out.
Are you going to try Plan B or go straight to Plan D?
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I agree with all of you but in my situation I own a ranch/equipment/cattle and the standing agreement is that she keeps the house and I keep the ranch (by the way it has been in my family for over 100 years) the ranch is way more important to me than the house and my kids absolutely love it there. Probably end up putting a house down there!!
Thank you for all of your support it has truly helped me.
Also she doesn't like the house either so I decide she can just sit and stew in what she helped destroy in something that she hates!
Last edited by InnerStrength; 05/18/11 11:29 AM.
Me-BH-39
WW-34 (Strugglingaz)
Married 7-dated 3 previous
D-10
D-6
1st D-day-2-26-11 2nd D-day-5-17-11
NC-3-9-11---Broke 4-2-11, 4-8-11-,5-16-11 Maybe more
BH-Filed for D-5-17-2011
Divorced 2-21-2012
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IS,
I just skimmed through and I don't see mention of exposure. Was this ever exposed? Do your children know what is going on?
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I'm so sorry InnerStrength. You did not deserve this. What was her reaction when you told her it was over?
Me DH 39 WW 45 EA/PA LTR DD2 6 yrs old Divorced 2000
Cypress I believe God challenges us with every crisis. Its more than just choosing good over evil, we have to learn and grow along the way.
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InnerStrength, I am so sorry to hear this -- Unfortunately I can't say I'm surprised. Her last posts here reeked of contact.  Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Ditto what the good Mrs. W said.
So sorry to hear this, IS. I'll also echo what a few others touched on: maybe it will really take losing everything for her to finally see what she's done.
Make sure you take care of yourself and those kids.
Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
DSx2
D-day: 2008
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InnerStrength,
I am so sorry you are going through this. There is still hope if your wife will just CHOOSE to end this disgraceful affair and build a romantic relationship with you. As a child of divorce (my mother was a wayward wife), I weep for what she is doing to her children.
Stay strong, my friend.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I'm sorry. And I'm angry for ya, that you were lied to. I'm sorry & angry for your kids. They need a grown-up for a mom, and they don't have that for now. Hang in there.
***edit***
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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