Today was our meeting with the judge. When I got back I read Carol's post and I was in shock.<P>While I was sitting outside the court today My wife's lawyer got a call. My wife was in an accident, the car was totalled, she would be all right, a friend's picking her up.<P>The lawyer then continued, "Do you know which friend she called?" (such class).<P>We all went into court. My wife walked in 3/4 hour later and I couldn't speak to her, she was obviously very shaken.<BR>After the case I touched her arm to ask if she was OK, and what happened. She replied briefly she was fine the brakes failed on the car, I can't talk now I must speak to my lawyer. I asked her to call me later as her lawyer whisked her away.<P>I didn't speak to her until 15 minutes ago some 10 hours later when she came home. She is always mad after spending time with her lawyer and so she said it was only natural for her to call the OM. I asked her if it was also natural to not call her husband who was with her kids, who were all worried. She said she was too angry, which I kind of accept. <P>Well when I first heard of the accident and that she was OK I wondered if God was at work sending her a message (neither of us is religious). Then when she turned up anyway, I wondered if I'm the one who is supposed to get the message of how determined she is to go through with this. She has said if it weren't for the OM we would be working on the marriage. She also thinks his divorce is imminent. I've discovered that his divorce has not even started yet, although his wife is very bitter and wants a divorce. I don't want a divorce ,but I will not keep my wife in our marriage if she is that unhappy, and I don't want her to get hurt when this other life of deceit falls apart.<P>I know fighter will straighten me out here.<P>

My Wife was supposed to return at the end of April to take the kids to a concert she had promised repeatedly to take them to since December 2nd. She called the night before & told me she got smashed between a truck & a building. Didn’t phase me at all & I wasn’t worried or scared about it. Same as if someone down the street I didn’t know had it happen to them. First thing out of her mouth was, “I have slip from the Dr.” I checked the insurance company & a claim was never filed.<P>The only thing you can do is wait her out (Plan A & B). If the divorce goes through & she gets dumped by OM, well it’s her own doing. You can only wait until you don’t love her any longer and then when she gets dumped, it won’t bother you (quite as much).<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

A few hours before discovery, my H said, "Why would I want to work on the marriage, when in many ways I am happier now". When I found out about the OW a few hours later, all the pieces fell in place, and although he denied that he left me for her (in spite of the fact that he immediately went to stay with her), that first statement was telling. No matter what problems there may be in the marriage, the presence of the OP is what causes the betrayer to not have interest in working on them.