We're in a tough spot right now, and we're pretty much at each other's throats. I can't help but feel like I'm in a terribly abusive relationship, my only escape being divorce. We're trying counselling, but it's a SLOW process. <P>My problem is, ANYTHING my husband says hurts me to the extreme. I feel like some kind of timebomb, about to explode. Is there a clinical condition that characterizes how victims feel towards their victimizers? I feel like I'm being terrorized. I know he won't let me get away without inflicting as much pain as possible if I were to divorce him. I am treated with no respect. There is no escape from this terror. I even have nightmares about him.<P>I'm not really sure what else to say right now. I've been trying to find some kind of support group, but since he doesn't actually beat or rape me, there doesn't appear to be anything out there for me. I feel like I'm married to some type of addict, but he doesn't drink, gamble or use drugs. I've thought about leaving him and staying in a shelter, but we're supposed to be working on staying together.<P>HELP!

you must set some boundries for yourself and him . If he crosses them you must tell him he is hurting you and if you must, then you must leave.

Ive been in both types of abusive relationships, physical and emotional/mental, and I found that the later is more painful... Bruises mend but the scars we carry around from our mind and emotions run deep...<P>I tryed to tell my H that Im tired of the abuse, and he thinks Im nuts... says comments like "you'd think I was bashing on you all the time the way you complain" In a way, he is, he just doesn't understand it...<P>I pray that your situation gets better..<P>cozy

Lizbeth, creating a link to a thread that might help you <BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/006988.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/006988.html</A> <P>

i wish i could say more than, "i'm here", but i can't. email me if you want:<BR>joolstag@att.net<BR>i'm sorry this is going on <BR>ps, i just read your response to my "miserable" thread. good point. but you're right, i am just buying time till it's over. i am disgusted to think about him, most of the time.<p>[This message has been edited by love WAS blind (edited October 29, 1999).]

check out <A HREF="http://www.drirene.com" TARGET=_blank>www.drirene.com</A> <BR>good luck

Thanks, everyone! Very helpful information. <BR>RWD, been there, done that. This is a last attempt to see if he is capable of changing his behavior (see my profile). The problem is, it doesn't change overnight. I can't just leave him and come back later when things are better. He knows he hurts me, I keep him well informed (sometimes by lovebusting, but hopefully mostly not). The problem is, he doesn't seem to be capable of stopping. He is seeing a psychiatrist to get to the bottom of this situation.<BR>cozy, thanks, I've heard the same from my H...<BR>sosad, THANKS SO MUCH for sharing your post. I wasn't around (here) much in Sept, and missed it.<BR>lWb, thanks, you'll be hearing from me..<BR>covenant, GREAT site!!<P> Lizbeth