W called tonite right after I got home late formwork and was trying to fix supper, keep the kids around long enough to feed them, and asked if she could hold off giving me money for the mortgage this week. MOrtgage is due 11-1. I gave her a weak,"I guess so" and she reponded with, "I hear the disappointment in your voice so I'll just give you money." "That will be a quick $1000 (her rent is due at the same time)gone." And then she hung up. I never even got the chance to think about it and we do have till the 16th to pay.<P>I guess what really bothers me is that she hasn't been paying much of anything. When she left left she promised she would buy all the kids clothing. She did the initial school shopping but the last two trips I ended up paying for all on the one trip and part of the other.<P>She also said she would pay for all the kids sports activities. I paid for our son's football and our daughter's basketball. She paid the first month of our daughters swim team dues but has yet to pay Oct and here it is almost Nov.<P>Also when ever we go somewhere with the kids she never has any money and I end up paying all the nickel and dime stuff they want. We were getting Chinese food last week and she couldn't money out of the ATM so I made her get it from another bank.<P>I'm not sure what she is doing with her money . I guess rent, and car payments are eating it up although she said she has a savings account which is more than what I have! I'm wondering if she is hoarding it away so if she decides not to come back she will have some cash.<P>I guess it would be big time love busting if I brought any of this up. But what am I supposed to do, go bankrupct ?<P>I would like to refinance, but I'm hamstrung there because if we divorce later then I'm screwed because then I won't be able to borrow additional money to buy her out. I guess if that happened then I could always get a loan. I guess I need to talk to either a lawyer or a finacial advisor to see what is the best way to protect myself financially.<P>

It sounds like you are having some interaction, perhaps you could convince her to go to some financial counseling - or a budget workshop with you, so that you can figure out how to manage the finances during this separation.<P>I agree it is important to protect yourself, but it is also important to see if you both can work together towards a goal. It seems like the finances are something you both are concerned about....<P>Just be careful your financial decisions aren't lovebusters, but protect yourself too.<P>TNT