Probably would do you wonders.

I've always wanted to go to Belfast (our ancestral hometown, so to speak) but their politics have been a bit rocky for a while. Might try the independent Ireland?

Those nagging feelings/doubts/questions will fade over time. But it kind of sucks to have good thoughts ruined like that.

It may be that you just need to give yourself more time. The first six months were super rocky for me. I think the exercise instead of ADs and keeping myself very busy (including lots of fun UA time with my H) were key.



Your feelings are normal but just keep (trying to) redirect yourself ~ your H has done everything you have asked of him, that is a great sign and even Dr Harley feels he is sincere!



A trip is a wonderful idea and I believe Dr Harley suggests this early in R. What does your H want to do? This is a great time for you two to start trying out POJA

i think i am getting stressed bc tomorrow is back to work and we wont be with each other, i used to do that when he traveled, like have a fight right before, so silly. - maybe we are spending too much time together!- kidding

we did do POJA, i gave him 2 of my choices and asked for 2 of his. he picked this. but doesnt seem too overly excited, maybe have to rediscuss.

redirect redirect redirect...

hope you had a nice weekend

That's ok--gives you guys something more to talk about until you both find something that you want to do.

It's a great opportunity.

ok have a question.. heart monitor showed palps, yeah i knew that... 50 different segments in one day, i told you i was stressed and triggered (sarcam)... nothing physically wrong- weightloss isnt helping.

he suggested i try a beta blocker to stop the palps. Listen i really dont take anything. but i guess my choices are beta, xanax, or i am starting yoga again as well as some relaxation techns. Any suggestions?

has anyone heard of calmclinic?

i think this whole md think have stopped them, this is ridiculous that i am letting myself get this way.

Sorry to hear that you're having these issues.

Do you exercise regularly? A quick walk around the neighborhood every day after work would be a good idea if you aren't already on a regimen.

this is all stress induced.

i bought a new bike and trainer, will set up tonight. exercise doesnt really calm me down. i actually hate to exercise, i do like yoga, though

i have to stop the triggers, what ever they are different each time.

I'll bet that, once your life gets back on track, this will kind of abate. My affair diet was about 15-lbs, two packs of smokes per day and numerous cups of coffee and Cokes. Ditching the cigs and cutting back on the caffeine helped, but (to me) it's actually doing something fun/recreational/physical, etc. that makes a bigger difference.

And I hate exercise, too.

Have you guys planned that trip, yet? A quick weekend getaway may be in order in the meantime. Time for a jump-start, IMO, so that you aren't in "discussing the marriage-mode" every day. Know what I mean?

i know it will. i am doing all the bad things also, but cutting most and adding heathier things at least trying to...

Going to get golf back on the radar, playing on monday...

trip talk tonight...

omg the discussing the marrige mode IS EVERY day, (its alot) but i am also not going to discourage or give the perception that work can stop for one moment with H.

Were your ears ringing? My H and I were discussing your palpitations while we were out running errands (he's in the medical field)

I think you need to cool off on the M and R talks and make getting the palpitations under control a top priority.

When they were really awful for me, I was not taking care of myself ~ not eating, drinking enough water or getting enough sleep. Is this true for you? Even if the eating is tough, make sure you are hydtrated. If you are having trouble sleeping, try melatonin ~ it's natural and safe.

Are you drinking coffee? I think you are supposed to lay off the caffeine if you are having palps.

My H said the beta blockers will help you but won't help the anxiety. Have you thought about trying the Xanax until you get your exercise regimen established?

Now for the exercise, have you given more thought to having dvds around? I have been falling off the exercise wagon my whole life and after dday have finally stuck with it. Having DVDs in the house is what keeps me on track. A good friend of mine recommended one of the MTV Yoga workouts. She said it was the equivalent of drinking a warm glass of milk before bed If you want to know which one it was, lmk and I'll get it for you.

Chicka, stay away from beta blockers if you can. They come with a whole host of side effects that aren't good.

I agree with everyone who is suggesting exercise. Walk. Walk. Run. Walk. Physical activity manufactures natural endorphins that will help.

Were your ears ringing? My H and I were discussing your palpitations while we were out running errands (he's in the medical field) - they were burning- my ears that is....

I am also in the field I am I am not going to take them. Calling chief tomorrow, there is no need for this��..


I think you need to cool off on the M and R talks and make getting the palpitations under control a top priority.= I agree! As North also said. Too much!


When they were really awful for me, I was not taking care of myself ~ not eating, drinking enough water or getting enough sleep. Is this true for you? Even if the eating is tough, make sure you are hydrated. If you are having trouble sleeping, try melatonin ~ it's natural and safe.

===Water water water, stopping coffee again tomorrow, I did on D-day one and I thought it was better but how many d days later, should have known. Not sleeping- got some EMDR tapes, very bad nightmares

My H said the beta blockers will help you but won't help the anxiety. Have you thought about trying the Xanax until you get your exercise regimen established?

- exactly!!! But I still want to stay away from anything at this point, not the exercise= the Xanax.

Well.... I had diarrhea the mouth, feel much better no palps at all, first time in months!. All the crap that I have been storing. No AO or DJ just the way I am feeling. It�s out. like his truths, now let�s see�

I have been the one who has held this up for over 4 mos. And he has been working very hard ! I know and respect that, and love it; I just never let him know how I was feeling in my heart, sad and angry, over what I lost. I have been plan a-ing it like a charm, but forgetting about myself (taker coming in- ooh). I love him and he loves me I know that, but I need to love myself also. I have taken care of my family for over 30+ years (disabled mom, crazy bro and him) and have never really thought about myself. Wow this has been an eye opener.

Ball is in his court to step up a bit and take care of me a bit. I am not going to let this let me physically, that just opens a can that is endless, I know how that goes, and that�s not where I will let myself get to.

If I have to take something to sleep I will, but I am already relieved. And he was great but he�s very sad, that he made me this way and he can�t fix it right now����

Btw the quote thing still can get it�����.. Too embarrassed to practice on my own thread.

Hey now, no reason to go completely cold-turkey!

A co-worker recently quit drinking soft drinks and said that cutting back on all that sugar really made a difference. Food for thought.

I know what you mean and think we all tend to forget how to relax or to "be ok" once the dust starts to settle.

I think getting that "ok" back is the key here. So go plan that trip and have some fun!

Talk to your husband about it. He's probably thinking the same thing.

we agreed to take the weekends off from talking about the M.
went to therapist talked about my rant, he was upset by things i said- i actually feel so much better getting it off my chest. he was upset that he made me feel the way i do, progress..

great night last night- we discussed our anniversarys- next week first date, and the week after wedding= he wanted to know if i wanted to do anything- since the days were importnat to me. I say no i am ok with not doing anything- because that marrige is over (was that bad) i did say for my new life- i am going to want a REALLY big ring this time ( its a joke- we had no money when we got married), he said i know it may be too soon but when can i ask you to marry me again?

ok- first night our without each other, not really any dreads- we both played golf at outings, and txted each other all day, so far so good, the palps seem to have disapated....

question- look i know i am no youngin, but what if the SF leads to ahem... should i be cautious( protective)i know is only almost 24 years, that i have know him, but i dont want to rush into anything.... any who knows it could happen...

i think he is secretly hoping it will, but oye that would be a mother load, no pun intended.

thoughts?

I didnt think you were supposed to have secrets? Have you guys talked about it?

he booked a trip for next week!

the other day, i had a trigger, his prompting (send me an email that was curt). it got me onthe crazy roll... looked on the phone tracker and saw a number that i didnt know and couldnt track, so i said 'who is xyz" he didnt know, he called back and it was a company he was working with but on the mobist it came up as a female name- he was so puzzled by how i knew it was a girls name, i think he forgot that he has the mobis on his phone- thats too funny to me.. i didnt remind him, though.

we are going to get in trouble from jennifer tonight- didnt do homework so well. we agreed that was have, have, have to fix this and come up with a better plan, we just have had so many work obligations this week.

looking forward to the weekend to reconnect and do our homework. will didcuss the SF things.

Even though Jennifer will give you a 2x4, I will as well.

I know things come up. But things will ALWAYS come up. Instead of finding excuses not to do something, you need to find reasons to do them. Take care.

yes we got the 2X4 and have to report in now- i love it! but that was good for us, we are putting the review as a priority.

so the vacation is planned- he pretty much did it himself, i am very glad he did, now he sees that the juggling is not that easy.

we are going away this weekend, it happends to be our anniversary. not sure how to deal with this..........

i guess i am not that thrilled with our old anniversary, but its still hard... i guess it a trigger and all, just bummed.