I thought I'd drop a note to update where it all went since my last post.

Fortunately, WW's counsel must have laid out the facts on how things go in a fault state when an A (2 of them in my case) can be proved. WW now will voluntarily leave the home to a place about a mile away, not ask for alimony or split of assets, and agree to joint physical custody of our DD. WW also wants to work things out where it agreeable between ourselves before wasting tons of money in an attorney's office that is better spend on our DD and to move on with our lives.

Personally, I feel this is great news as it will mark the first time we really have been able to shake the weight of the pressure of working through our M problems to see if we are compatible as people. This may mark a start of a new beginning to one day coming back together or may signify closure as far as our relationship goes. Of course, we will always be in each others lives with DD.

From those experienced with this stage, what do you suggest here? I am looking forward to my space. I know WW is looking forward to hers and continuing a R with the OM. However, I feel I need to make sure I do not misstep in case there is hope one day that something could spark a flame again. Keep in mind, it is the farthest thing in my mind right now as I am anxious to explore - but part of me is saying don't be too quick to forget and permanently destroy something that may grow one day. I want to close the door, but not lock and seal it for good.

Any thoughts, stories, experience?

This is really proving to be hard. Hard to be encouraging for the sake of our DD while wanting to make sure WW is properly set up in her new place. I DONT WANT ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN.

However, it is the next stage of the process. What do I do? Papers have not been filed, but I know they are in the works. WW and I have agreed to our terms (see above post). While everything seems to be working to a logical conclusion, I feel there will be this moment down the road that I look back to and feel like there was something more to be done to stop this.

I am trying my best to plan A while obviously waiting for the D. What should I be doing now that perhaps I am not. I know many of you have said in other threads that this stage is still not representing the end, but it sure feels like it is.

Do you let the end happen in order to let it be reborn? I know myself, I will not wait and will move on to find happiness again. WW probably doesn't care about that at the moment, but perhaps one day she will wish she could take it all back - at which point it will be too late for her, me, and our DD.

What can I do to keep some hope alive? Or should I?

Free bump for you.

You need better advice than I could ever offer, so surely someone has some insight on this mess?

But if you are agreeing to do the divorce dance to otherwise use the money on your daughter, then it sounds like you're getting a divorce. Of course she doesn't want to spend tons of money with an attorney if you have evidence of the on-going affair.

I guess I'd just play a little more dirty, that's all, and file with grounds.

Good Morning,

I am kind of in limbo like you, my WH affair wasn't fully killed by exposure, but the affair is dying. It took a big hit at least. My WH is still very wayward. He is deployed, so he hasn't yet been back to the states for his reality check yet.

I went into Plan B when I knew it wouldn't be killed. Cutting all ties and giving him a dose of life without me and his four kids has helped. He had a delusion we would be friends. My sanity has recovered mostly, and I can start making decisions better for my life. I wouldn't say my love for him is 100% gone, but today I am finally getting to a point I can move on without him. Today if he came back fully remorseful and willing to do my EP's I would save the marriage for my four babies. Nothing less!!! I do not want him today. He has to be willing to look at himself and change him.

Have you considered Plan B to really give her a dose of her new reality? You may be in a good position since you are still Plan'Aing her. Kill her with kindness, align your affairs, and then go pitch black dark. That may shake her up some especially if she is used to you financially supporting her. Let the OM fill all her needs.

I strongly encourage Plan B soon. Let reality take hold and see where everything falls.

Tough~