Hey **edited**,

I"ll jump in here ... don't know if vets are online.

Actually, it IS working. This is the "text book" response of waywards to exposure.

Do not let this sway you. Stand your ground that you are fighting for your M and will do whatever it takes. You have done nothing but say the truth.

Be cool and calm. Do not engage in any anger.

You are doing great here!

Get ready to be blamed for everything that is wrong in the world today.

I repeat... stay cool and calm. Her response is nothing to panic over.

Your response... " I will do whatever it takes to save this M."

That is great!! It most certainly *IS* working. You just can't let up or it really WON'T work. EXPOSURE IS WORKING!!

We told you she would make threats to get you to stop; that is all that is happening here. Don't get distracted by her caterwauling. STICK TO YOUR PLAN.

Have you exposed to the OMW yet? Have you exposed to the OM's parents? Exposing to the OM's parent is a POWERFUL exposure because then the OM can't ever introduce your wife to his parents. GET BACK TO WORK!!!

**edited**, let me give you an analogy so you understand what is really happening here. Your wife is addicted to the OM. She is high on an affair and has the EXACT mentality as a crack head.

Just imagine that you invited in a crowd of people to the crack house to watch the crack heads get high. They are FURIOUS because you have ruined their high! But ruining their high is your GOAL if you want to save your marriage. She might be furious NOW, but when she sobers up she will be GRATEFUL.

This is why you shouldn't be concerned about her anger and all her silly threats. Don't take her seriously. She is only angry because you ruined her high.

But if you don't effectively kill the affair today, the affair will survive and she will STAY angry. This is why you can't let up. Get your moneys worth out of her anger and STAY THE COURSE!!

**edited**,

Don't let up! If she is mad, that is a GOOD thing. It means your exposure is working ~ you are interfering with her A and she wants you to STOP.

Listen to ML ~ stick to the plan! The worst thing you can do is a trickle exposure. Do it all today!!!

I did send a message to to OM's mother on facebook. Things are definitely exposed. Their phone numbers are not listed and I can't find any info about the OMW except their marriage announcement.

All this fighting for her is making me feel like I can't live without her. I am now terrified of being alone and having to deal with all of the issues that go along with splitting up. All of our friends are the same and I will obviously still see her. I will probably also run into her and the OM after we split. I am usually a very strong person but I know it doesn't sound it right now.

She is now saying that the marriage was a mistake in the first place and she just settled when she married me. It sure didn't feel like that then. She really doesn't want to be with me anymore. How will I change her mind and get her to work on it?

Keep in mind that she is "so mad" that you did this
but
she is the one who created the reality of the truth you exposed.

She is the source of the information that you exposed.
The beginnng of the experience.
The reason it is being exposed is that SHE felt she could have an affair and no one would ever find out about it.

Really?

Why in the world would you be her secret keeper about this? Why?

You know it isn't something you need to protect for her.

Stay calm appearing and ride her tantrum out. Just stay the course.

Your wife is not unique in this way.

**edited**, **edited**, **edited**,

They ALL say that... once again "textbook". She is trying to get you to stop interfering in her A. She is mad that you have now made it really hard for her to hang with OM because now people are watching her. This is a good thing!

Your response "I will do whatever it takes to save this M"

She will not change her mind UNTIL you kill the affair.

Hang in there.

CAn you find his wife's facebook? Her parents? YOU MUST GET TO THE OMW. TODAY. Don't let up until you find her and speak to her.


That is really cute she is saying all that, but it is meaningless. I don't care about the ramblings of a falling down drunk and neither should you. Here is how you change her mind: KILL THE AFFAIR.

Stop listening to fogbabble and focus completely on KILLING THE AFFAIR. <--------------that is your best hope of saving your marriage.

If she rants again about how this was all a mistake tell her you are sure sorry she feels this way, would she like a potato chip?

And I would stop posting her fogbabble. That is a waste of your time. Just ignore it and STICK TO YOUR PLAN.

STOP POSTING FOGBABBLE AND FIND THE OMW!!

That is what I have been saying to her. Please bear with me, this self pity and doubt is annoying I am sure but it is helping me to get it out.

The reason I found out about the affair was that she had made up her mind that she didn't want to be with me anymore. She still doesn't want to yet. I guess I am just having a hard time figuring out what will change her mind when it has been made up for a while. I know only time will tell and that there is a possibility that nothing can change her mind, but right now it feels hopeless.

Did you copy and paste the OM's facebook info into a WORD doc? If so, I would go there now and start sending out private messages until you hear from the OMW and the OM's parents. SPACE THE MESSAGES OUT 60 SECONDS APART SO FB DOES NOT SHUT YOU DOWN FOR FLOODING.

Send this letter:

Dear friend of Joe Loser,

It is with great regret that I send this letter but I believe all of his friends should be aware that Loser is having an affair with my wife, Sally. We have been married for 5 years. They have been having this affair since October according to the evidence.

I would be happy to provide the evidence to anyone who asks.

I would ask that you use your influence with Loser to persuade him to leave my wife alone. You should also watch your own wives around him because he is no friend to marriage.

I would appreciate it if someone would notify his wife and his parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx.

Thank you, BH

I took your advice but have honestly not found any info about her. She does not have her facebook page public, there is no phone number listed in the white pages. I can only find the OM's parent's house, but I can not go until Thursday because of a death in my family. We will be traveling in a few hours for my grandmothers funeral. She unfortunately died last night so I have to go to my parents for most of the week. Thank you for your advice and believe me that I have been implementing it.

This is because of her affair. This is why we are telling you to kill the affair and don't let up until it is DEAD.


This doesn't look hopeless to me, unless you let up here. What will change her mind is killing the affair. The affair is the equivalent of alcohol to a falling down drunk. Take the booze away and he will sober up.

Do you have the OM's parents phone #?

And I am sorry about your grandmother.

How about sending out some of those facebook letters to the OM's family and friends? And call his parents if you have their #.

Have you told your own parents?

**edited**,

I went online and found the OMW name and the city she lives in. **edited**.

**edited**

Did you get the info you need?