River, I know that you are scared about what is going to happen. It's okay to be frightened, but you need to act, and act quickly.

All of us here are scared for you too. We are scared that you won't expose and then you will lose your marriage.

You need to follow through with what you have been advised here, on this board. It comes from many years of experience from a man who has helped save thousands of marriages. Also, some of the people who have posted to you have also saved their own marriages. Do you know anyone IRL who can say the same?

It really comes down to what you want. If you want a chance at saving your marriage, because that's really all we are offering here, you should do what has been advised to you already. EXPOSE.

Now, I also want to touch on something. The OW lied. She most likely wants a child. And she is trying to have that child with your WH. What is going to happen when she winds up pregnant? Who do you think he will stay with when that happens? The longer you let this affair continue, the more likely OW will become pregnant. Think about that.

And regardless of whether you care if your M is heading towards a D, you NEED to let OWF know what is being done to him behind his back. That is the RIGHT thing to do and it would really be cruel to keep it from him.

Also your husband is lying about OW going to not marry fiance. It will happen and you could expose to protect that young man from extreme grief.

Does anyone have links to these?

The lawyer I contacted got back to me today and said unless I was served or ready to file she couldn't help me, so I contacted another. Waiting to hear back.


Sorry!


I absolutely don't doubt that he will help me get on my feet financially as of now. I fear exposure would change that, yes.


I'm not even sure where to begin with that.


Not really, no.


I would LOVE that. The only thing I know to expect with exposure is that he will be angry. Anyone's exposure stories, I think, are exactly what I'm looking for.

Angry is the typical reaction.... but it fades. Anger is a good thing they say because that means it was effective in removing some of the "fantasy" quality of the relationship. If you do not expose, they will paint this as a romance instead of an affair... and you will have lost your chance forever to expose first. My husband actually wasn't angry, but I guess that isn't typical.

Since you have no kids to support I absolutely do not understand what you need his money for. You could get any job and make enough to eat and live.... no kids to pay daycare for.... you are going to throw away this weapon because you fear his anger? because of a few dollars?

You have two choices really... you can either let him get you on your feet financially and wave goodbye while he marries the other woman... or you can expose and fight for your marriage.... there is no fighting under the scenes. You need to bring reality to the situation and exposure is a big way to do that.

In my situation the ow DELIBERATELY got herself pregnant because he was waffling in their affair vs. our marriage. My xwh ended up scr(wing me and our child out of so much $ it's amazing. All for the greedy ow (and they ALL are because they covet somebody else's marriage and family) and the affair.

Do not make a foolish choice to believe a KNOWN liar (your wh). Many times the wayward spouse will make up all kinds of doomsday scenarios to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT so they can happily go on with their affair.

Expose high and low. Tell the fiance immediately. Your counselor is dead wrong (sadly your mom is too about this).

Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa haaaaaaa!

You know, my WXH told me that he would ALWAYS make sure that I was financially secure. What a joke.

I ended up having to borrow money from my parents (who are retirees on a fixed income) before the divorce was final.

And my XH is very wealthy. He was just keeping all the marital assets to himself.

You need to fight for your marriage. You are in la-la land if you think that enabling his affair will help you.

Because I care , this took about an hour to find but here you go:
Helpfordad
Helpfordad is still working at it but he is starting to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Here is sunnyd's thread:
Here


Reynolds531 says in page 29: (I cant find his post)on same page check out post made at 5:15pm.
I just exposed my WW two weeks ago. It killed the affair in two hours. In two hours I did what three months of otherwise plan A could not do.

Listen to these people! They know what they are talking about!

I know you're afraid, it sounds nuts but it does work! Your WW is gone if you don't! Please believe the people here!

LuvsDavid - thank you SO much for taking the time to do that. I really do appreciate it.

Things blew up today.

I told H's sister. She hasn't responded. And the fiance' was exposed to (not by me, I don't even know how that happened). He called me asking for my husband's name so he could kill him (said he had a loaded gun), so I didn't divulge the name. OW is in a hotel for the night. I don't know if H plans to go be with her tonight or not. The fiance' kept trying to put me on the phone with her, but she clearly said "I don't want to talk to that [censored]." Nice. Told H this, and he said, "she doesn't think you're a [censored]." Right.

Any advice on what to do now?

In the above post I said to look on page 29,,,that was page 28 on the first link. Sorry, I got the links mixed up when I copied them. The post @ 5:15 has some things copied from the newsletter that covers your concerns.

I would still take the advice here and finish exposing to everyone.

You always want to expose all in one day so it has the max effect and your WH can get mad and get over it.

You and her husband need to compair notes. I'm sure the your husband has told you that she is the agressor and she has told her fiance' the same thing about your husband.

It takes 2 to have an affair. Does not really matter who started it.

Call the fiance back and get whatever information you can get. Since craziness is already happening, expose to your family and his family, all your close friends, OW's mom and dad, right away! quick!

Battleship sunk. You've scored a direct hit, RG. You may want to hip your WH to the fact that there is a hugely pissed-off man ready to blow his head off. I would consider that an act of Christian kindness.

Finish your exposure for maximum return.

Well done.

Late to the party here, but yes exposure killed my wifes affair on contact. Finish the job! Your husband can find more work (if it even comes to that)

Reynolds I could not find your original posts.....do you have a link she could read your story also?

I told WH right away, because I am actually afraid for his safety and the fiance' said he would go to WH's work looking for him.

I'm not sure there's anyone left to expose to. The fiance' exposed on Facebook right away (and has now moved from engaged to single) - so that covers mutual friends and family on both sides. I sent him a message on there to call me.

WH is at the hotel with OW now. He is supposed to come back later, but may end up there for the night after that, he said he didn't know, yet.

He said he was really touched and surprised by my concern for him. And he did actually call me his wife when talking to the fiance' (finace' called back when he was home). Which is the first time since all this happened.

So now I Plan A, right?

When you do talk to the ow (posow that one), refer to her as 'John's fiance' or whatever the xfiance's name was. Don't make her human.

And don't let your po po husband go comfort his skankyho at the ho-tel tonight. I'd lock him out if he did. It's nice the FI exposed on FB BUT YOU DO THIS TOO AND YOU EXPOSE ALSO.

Double hit to the affair. It could totally finish it off if done well enough and strong enough.

Have you exposed to the workplace?

River, why do I get the feeling you are going to lay down and let your husband walk out?
Why are you so calm about him going to the hotel with her tonight? I just noticed your age and lenght of time with him. You have been with him since you were 16?

Do you really want this to work out or just afraid to be alone? I married my first husband at 16 and looking back now it was just a way to get away from my grandmother. I know now I would have NEVER been able to stay with him long.

Don't roll over and take it. Nope. Don't.

You can either be passive and lose the marriage and possibly more than half if not all your marital assets in a divorce, or else you can toughen up and do what is needed to be done to protect yourself and try to save the marriage.

Agree that you should be killing this affair with everything you've got. Expose it yourself, and ask for help.

Sorry no thread for me. They took it away cause I wouldn't behave.