Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 45 of 88 1 2 43 44 45 46 47 87 88
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
So then she said, well I don't want you to drink wine tonight either. I complained to her that we had negotiated to discuss in the morning, but now she was demanding that I don't drink wine tonight.


Even if she makes a demand, you still do nothing without the enthusiastic agreement of your spouse.

Love busters on her part do not justify love busters on your part.

Quote:
So I guess, yes I had wine even though she didn't want me to.


You guess?

Quote:
She demanded I don't have wine and I had it anyways.


Quit looking at her. Look at you. She will never want to change if you aren't willing to change.

Get the plank out of your own eye and quit attempting to pick the specks out of hers.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 746
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 746
Hill,

Do you know what you're supposed to do when you can't reach a decision with POJA? Nothing.

And, when I was on the radio show last year Dr Harley told me to clean up my DJ and my DH's AO would stop. And, they pretty well have.


Me: 30
Him: 39
Together 5 years
Married the very best man in the world 04/06/2013 after being common law for too long. I'm a lucky woman.
7 Cats - Viscount Ashley of Leftfield, Pawkie Petunia, The Timinator, Leo the Lionheart, Fruit Snack, Cloud, and Barret
And our very lucky pony, Starbucks
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
Quote:
So then she said, well I don't want you to drink wine tonight either. I complained to her that we had negotiated to discuss in the morning, but now she was demanding that I don't drink wine tonight. So I guess, yes I had wine even though she didn't want me to. She demanded I don't have wine and I had it anyways.

Policy of Joint Agreement: DON'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT THE ENTHUSIASTIC AGREEMENT OF YOUR SPOUSE.


STOP IT!!! You are destroying your marriage.

Quote:
I told her on the phone today that I will not tolerate her verbal abuse any longer verbatim. I told her I will not be a part of a marriage where the verbal abuse and DJs are so frequent.

Oh Hill ... You've threatening your wife's security. Basically you're saying "Straighten up, or I'm leaving you."

That would break any woman's heart. How do you expect to fill her love bank when you threaten her very security?

Nooo


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
Originally Posted By: Penni4Thoughts
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted By: kilted_thrower
I have 2 questions.

Did you refuse to POJA the drinking? Did you call her abusive?


We agreed last night that we'd plan out many things, one of them being the days we drink wine and when we do not, on Friday morning. So I poured a glass of wine last night thinking, ok this is great we'll plan out our schedule about wine, UA, who cooks dinner, who does dishes, who puts the kids, down etc, we are getting somewhere, this is good. So then she said, well I don't want you to drink wine tonight either. I complained to her that we had negotiated to discuss in the morning, but now she was demanding that I don't drink wine tonight. So I guess, yes I had wine even though she didn't want me to. She demanded I don't have wine and I had it anyways.

I told her on the phone today that I will not tolerate her verbal abuse any longer verbatim. I told her I will not be a part of a marriage where the verbal abuse and DJs are so frequent. I told her I have many faults and I am working on them, but that I do not want to be in a marriage where I hide in parking lots for an hour long to avoid coming home. Also that I do not like to walk on egg shells.


Hi Hill,

POJA would say that you don't do anything until you two come to an agreement, which means not drinking wine. By drinking wine after she told you she didn't want you to, you are inadvertently telling her that drinking wine is more important than her.


I can see that. I guess it was weird because my wife drank wine with me about five nights in a row, then got up one day and said I don't want wine and I don't want you to either. So what had become a very common thing for us maybe even "presumed" activity, especially of late, has now become something she decided unilaterally that WE no longer were doing. So I felt like, "where was I during that decision that was made?"

Now from a practical stance we used to hit the gym after I got home from work, which has now turned into, rush through dinner, get the kids down asap, then open some wine and unwind over TV and Scrabble. Pretty sure the gym is more healthy, but so difficult to make happen with making child care arrangements. I asked my wife if we could do this, but it was met with the usual "maybe" or "we'll see". I can appreciate taking charge of plans, but I know my wife so a, "put your gym clothes on were heading to the gym, and dropping off the kids with your folks" would not be received well.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
Originally Posted By: markos
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
So then she said, well I don't want you to drink wine tonight either. I complained to her that we had negotiated to discuss in the morning, but now she was demanding that I don't drink wine tonight.


Even if she makes a demand, you still do nothing without the enthusiastic agreement of your spouse.

Love busters on her part do not justify love busters on your part.

Quote:
So I guess, yes I had wine even though she didn't want me to.


You guess?

Quote:
She demanded I don't have wine and I had it anyways.


Quit looking at her. Look at you. She will never want to change if you aren't willing to change.

Get the plank out of your own eye and quit attempting to pick the specks out of hers.


Matthew 7:5, nice pull!


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 235
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 235
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972


I can see that. I guess it was weird because my wife drank wine with me about five nights in a row, then got up one day and said I don't want wine and I don't want you to either. So what had become a very common thing for us maybe even "presumed" activity, especially of late, has now become something she decided unilaterally that WE no longer were doing. So I felt like, "where was I during that decision that was made?"


We always get into sticky territory if we try to judge how rational something is. Whether you think it is rational or not, it still withdrew from her love bank.

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
Originally Posted By: Prisca
Quote:
So then she said, well I don't want you to drink wine tonight either. I complained to her that we had negotiated to discuss in the morning, but now she was demanding that I don't drink wine tonight. So I guess, yes I had wine even though she didn't want me to. She demanded I don't have wine and I had it anyways.

Policy of Joint Agreement: DON'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT THE ENTHUSIASTIC AGREEMENT OF YOUR SPOUSE.


STOP IT!!! You are destroying your marriage.

Quote:
I told her on the phone today that I will not tolerate her verbal abuse any longer verbatim. I told her I will not be a part of a marriage where the verbal abuse and DJs are so frequent.

Oh Hill ... You've threatening your wife's security. Basically you're saying "Straighten up, or I'm leaving you."

That would break any woman's heart. How do you expect to fill her love bank when you threaten her very security?

Nooo


I will apologize to her for this, I didn't intend for it to come off that way. I feel like a doormat, I don't like to feel that way. I'm struggling to on how to no longer be a doormat. I guess I don't know how to say it then. When I first got to this forum someone, can't remember who, told me to tell my wife "I don't intend on being in a sexless relationship." Well I don't intend in being a punching bag either so I thought that was saying the same thing.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
HT, I would apologize for drinking the wine when she had asked you not to and leave it at that.

It would be good in the future for you to call your W and discuss the wine before you even buy it.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
I can see that. I guess it was weird because my wife drank wine with me about five nights in a row, then got up one day and said I don't want wine and I don't want you to either. So what had become a very common thing for us maybe even "presumed" activity, especially of late, has now become something she decided unilaterally that WE no longer were doing. So I felt like, "where was I during that decision that was made?"


You have got it backwards.

Your wife informed you that the previous situation was something she was not enthusiastic about any more.

Your correct response was to do nothing and negotiate a new agreement.

Instead, you made the unilateral decision to drink anyway. You are the one who made a unilateral decision.

Dr. Harley jumped all over me for this kind of thing. I'll go pull you some quotes off of the private forum. smile

When there is a conflict, your correct response is to do NOTHING until there is an enthusiastic agreement. If you were doing something before, stop doing it and do nothing until there is enthusiastic agreement. Drinking wine is not doing nothing, it is doing something.

Your wife was not being demanding at all. It is not demanding to say "It turns out the agreement we made is not going to work for me after all; I'm no longer enthusiastic; we need to make a new plan together." That's not a demand.

Plank: Your independent behavior


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
Quote:
I can see that. I guess it was weird because my wife drank wine with me about five nights in a row, then got up one day and said I don't want wine and I don't want you to either. So what had become a very common thing for us maybe even "presumed" activity, especially of late, has now become something she decided unilaterally that WE no longer were doing. So I felt like, "where was I during that decision that was made?"

No, she decided that she was no longer happy doing this activity. She's letting you know she's unhappy. POJA says DO NOTHING until you can both enthusiastically agree on what to do. This is part of showing her you care for her. It's taking her needs into account.

She didn't make a decision unilaterally. She told you she didn't want to do this anymore. To insist that you are going to do it anyway, when she's made it known to you that she's unhappy with it, is to gain at her expense. YOU are the one that made a unilateral decision. And you gained at her expense.

Quote:
Now from a practical stance we used to hit the gym after I got home from work, which has now turned into, rush through dinner, get the kids down asap, then open some wine and unwind over TV and Scrabble. Pretty sure the gym is more healthy, but so difficult to make happen with making child care arrangements. I asked my wife if we could do this, but it was met with the usual "maybe" or "we'll see". I can appreciate taking charge of plans, but I know my wife so a, "put your gym clothes on were heading to the gym, and dropping off the kids with your folks" would not be received well.

Why would she be enthusiastic about going to the gym with you when you won't even use POJA to protect her about the wine issue? You are in the habit of gaining at her expense. Why would she want to do anything?


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
I feel like a doormat, I don't like to feel that way. I'm struggling to on how to no longer be a doormat.

Short answer: POJA


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
Originally Posted By: SusieQ
HT, I would apologize for drinking the wine when she had asked you not to and leave it at that.

It would be good in the future for you to call your W and discuss the wine before you even buy it.


I just apologized and asked her again to plan with me. I sent her a note last night about specific days we might have wine nights and ones we don't. She hasn't replied to it.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
I feel like a doormat, I don't like to feel that way. I'm struggling to on how to no longer be a doormat.


Independent behavior is not the solution to that.

Quote:
I guess I don't know how to say it then. When I first got to this forum someone, can't remember who, told me to tell my wife "I don't intend on being in a sexless relationship."


And you are not in a sexless relationship.

This kind of ultimatum is more appropriate when you have actually been working this program well. When you have eliminated demands, disrespect, anger, independent behavior, and you are meeting your wife's needs, and she is still not meeting yours, then that may be an option. There's an article about that kind of situation, but you'll see Dr. Harley only advocates such ultimatums when he's supervised a man working his program flawlessly: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_quit3.html

Originally Posted By: Dr. Harley
And before any separation, I make sure that they have been doing a good job meeting their wife's emotional needs and avoiding Love Busters.


We've established that you have NOT done a good job meeting Grace's emotional needs and avoiding love busters. You have made improvement, but you're still falling into the love busters about once a week. (From my vantage point it looks like this is some improvement over about once every three days. But of course I can't see clearly over the internet. smile And the important point is that they are not eliminated.)

You are going to have to do a stellar job of this and cause Grace to fall back in love with you. There is simply no other way. She is almost certainly going to feel in love with you before she gets to the point where her instincts are prompting her to meet your needs naturally and you begin to fall back in love with her. There is no other way.

Your children are depending on you.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted By: SusieQ
HT, I would apologize for drinking the wine when she had asked you not to and leave it at that.

It would be good in the future for you to call your W and discuss the wine before you even buy it.


I just apologized and asked her again to plan with me. I sent her a note last night about specific days we might have wine nights and ones we don't. She hasn't replied to it.


Are you willing to quit the wine altogether if she's not enthusiastic about it?

If you agree that you can drink wine Thursdays but next Thursday she says "You drinking wine tonight is not going to work for me after all," are you willing to follow the POJA and skip it that night?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
Originally Posted By: Prisca
Quote:
I can see that. I guess it was weird because my wife drank wine with me about five nights in a row, then got up one day and said I don't want wine and I don't want you to either. So what had become a very common thing for us maybe even "presumed" activity, especially of late, has now become something she decided unilaterally that WE no longer were doing. So I felt like, "where was I during that decision that was made?"

No, she decided that she was no longer happy doing this activity. She's letting you know she's unhappy. POJA says DO NOTHING until you can both enthusiastically agree on what to do. This is part of showing her you care for her. It's taking her needs into account.

She didn't make a decision unilaterally. She told you she didn't want to do this anymore. To insist that you are going to do it anyway, when she's made it known to you that she's unhappy with it, is to gain at her expense. YOU are the one that made a unilateral decision. And you gained at her expense.

Quote:
Now from a practical stance we used to hit the gym after I got home from work, which has now turned into, rush through dinner, get the kids down asap, then open some wine and unwind over TV and Scrabble. Pretty sure the gym is more healthy, but so difficult to make happen with making child care arrangements. I asked my wife if we could do this, but it was met with the usual "maybe" or "we'll see". I can appreciate taking charge of plans, but I know my wife so a, "put your gym clothes on were heading to the gym, and dropping off the kids with your folks" would not be received well.

Why would she be enthusiastic about going to the gym with you when you won't even use POJA to protect her about the wine issue? You are in the habit of gaining at her expense. Why would she want to do anything?


You know what Prisca, I have no idea what she is enthusiastic about. You know how I know? Because she won't ever answer me. I send her a text asking if we could do massages and yahtzee last night and she responds back with, you need to get a vasectomy. I email her about some suggested dates we can schedule wine, no wine, scrabble, who makes dinner, etc, she doesn't answer me. If I point blank ask her what she'd like to do she says, "I don't know what do you want to do?" So I make suggestions, they mostly go unanswered, shot down, or put in the "we'll see" box to never be addressed again.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/u...950#Post2404950

Originally Posted By: markos
Dr. Harley, is making an agreement and not keeping it a love buster?

I don't want to demand that my wife keep agreements or judge her for not keeping them. Nor do I want to get my way by making her feel guilty if she does not keep them. But I do feel resentment when they are not kept, and it seems that most of the time we are dealing with her resentment and I have to keep mine to myself. Is this issue addressed in a later lesson in the courses?


Originally Posted By: Dr. Harley
Markos:

The POJA provides an interesting solution to the problem of unfulfilled agreements: It encourages spouses to let each other off the hook when one spouse wants to bail at the last minute. "Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse" focuses on the doing, not the planning. The reason, of course, is that if you care about each other, you should not gain at your spouse's expense. At the time of the original agreement, it may have seemed as if both spouses would gain, but as the even draws closer one spouse may see a problem. When that happens, the agreement should be scrapped and a new agreement, with the problem acknowledged, should be negotiated.

The point of the POJA is that everything you do should benefit both of you. And if you can't think of a way for that to happen, you should do nothing until a solution is found.

Best wishes,
Willard F. Harley, Jr.


I hope you understand that you drinking wine last night when your wife objected was gaining at her expense. Further contributing to the bankruptcy in both of your love banks.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
You know what Prisca, I have no idea what she is enthusiastic about. You know how I know? Because she won't ever answer me. I send her a text asking if we could do massages and yahtzee last night and she responds back with, you need to get a vasectomy. I email her about some suggested dates we can schedule wine, no wine, scrabble, who makes dinner, etc, she doesn't answer me. If I point blank ask her what she'd like to do she says, "I don't know what do you want to do?" So I make suggestions, they mostly go unanswered, shot down, or put in the "we'll see" box to never be addressed again.


There is no solution to this other than to meet emotional needs and avoid love busters. Your wife is in withdrawal. She will venture out of withdrawal sometimes for conflict. You must get in the habit of meeting her emotional needs all the time and avoiding love busters all the time so that when she ventures into conflict you will slowly make progress towards her moving into intimacy.

It will not be easy. You will need to do it even if she engages in love busters and even if she does not meet your needs.

But if you focus on you and make this happen, you will save your marriage. She will move back into intimacy and then she will finally reciprocate with enthusiasm. Only then.

Start thinking long term. She is going to move back into intimacy before you do.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
Quote:
You know what Prisca, I have no idea what she is enthusiastic about. You know how I know? Because she won't ever answer me. I send her a text asking if we could do massages and yahtzee last night and she responds back with, you need to get a vasectomy. I email her about some suggested dates we can schedule wine, no wine, scrabble, who makes dinner, etc, she doesn't answer me. If I point blank ask her what she'd like to do she says, "I don't know what do you want to do?" So I make suggestions, they mostly go unanswered, shot down, or put in the "we'll see" box to never be addressed again.

You missed my question. Why would she be enthusiastic about anything?

I'll tell you what she's enthusiastic about: NOTHING. You know why? Because you are in the habit of gaining at her expense. You will not follow POJA. There's no reason for her to be enthusiastic about anything that has to do with you.

You want her enthusiasm? Start following POJA. Let her know you are going to protect her and never willingly gain at her expense again. Start today.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 738
Originally Posted By: markos
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted By: SusieQ
HT, I would apologize for drinking the wine when she had asked you not to and leave it at that.

It would be good in the future for you to call your W and discuss the wine before you even buy it.


I just apologized and asked her again to plan with me. I sent her a note last night about specific days we might have wine nights and ones we don't. She hasn't replied to it.


Are you willing to quit the wine altogether if she's not enthusiastic about it?

If you agree that you can drink wine Thursdays but next Thursday she says "You drinking wine tonight is not going to work for me after all," are you willing to follow the POJA and skip it that night?


I'll quit wine, I'll take up knitting if it means I can have a happy marriage. What I can't do is fly by the seat of my pants and have all parts of our life "up in the air" and in limbo. I asked my wife last night to play me like a fiddle so that all her wishes and desires would come true. I asked if she could work on not making me guess so much on when or how she wants something. In other words, "please honey just answer my questions directly." "please say what you mean and mean what you say so I don't get confused so much." "please respond to my emails with answers so I know what the answer is." As I sit here in my office as we speak there are no plans for tonight. I don't know what to expect, I'll do whatever she wants to do, and I'm almost always willing to, but I just never know until the moment is upon us and that is maddening to keep up with.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
What I can't do is fly by the seat of my pants and have all parts of our life "up in the air" and in limbo.

You have been told repeatedly to start scheduling UA, with or without your wife. When are you going to do it?

Quote:
In other words, "please honey just answer my questions directly." "please say what you mean and mean what you say so I don't get confused so much." "please respond to my emails with answers so I know what the answer is."

Okay, you've made your requests. What are you going to do if she doesn't respond? Turn them into demands?

Quote:
As I sit here in my office as we speak there are no plans for tonight. I don't know what to expect, I'll do whatever she wants to do, and I'm almost always willing to, but I just never know until the moment is upon us and that is maddening to keep up with.

Make plans. Ask her if she likes them. If she doesn't, suggest something else. If she still doesn't, try again tomorrow.

You really need to make these plans a week ahead of time and discuss them with her before the week even starts.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Page 45 of 88 1 2 43 44 45 46 47 87 88

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 15 guests, and 63 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Lethabo, Livn1dayAtaTime, widup, Reggg, Endlessvow
71,682 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,528
Posts2,322,563
Members71,682
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5