I truely expect she will break into the house and I told her upfront I will call the police. She has been forwarned.

Yes Pep-I will check out BBuy today (nanny cam). I have been recording only up to this point.

In my previous posts I listed all the crap she drags with her from a medical standpoint and I know realistically it will get worse with the financial and leagal aspect.

I am tired of working more than one recovery program and being sucked back into the bag she drags around.

The relationship with my DD and DS+new live in GF (2 months)has gotten better and will once WW is gone. I kept trying to make "her" peace to the kids and they wanted no part of it. I know it will take some time but I am hopeful our R's will grow much stronger through this.

I am so proud of my DD. She graduated a week ago and actually came through all of thiswith no strings requied as far as summer school or things like that. She has shown strength and maturity that at time amazes me.

Thanks PM. You helped me by giving the words of encouragement a long time ago. I will always be gtateful you took the time and laid out a plan to help me personally get back on track.

nESRE

An answered prayer!

Off to town. Try to post later.

Thanks all. Very blessed to have this support through the screen!!

One of these days I'll post my mug on the photo album. I know I like to see the face behind the screen. Makes it more real.

Gotta run

nESRE

Locks changed-check
Keys to everything all secure-check
All valuables secure-check
Video camera in place-check

WW tried to get into the house yesterday. Realized locks and such were changed.

Surprisingly did not break any doors down.

Text me when I was almost home asking if I would take her to detox. Got to the house and she was sititng outside on the deck working on finishing a 12 pack.

Quiet ride for me with WW rambeling and spinning events since friday. Bouncing into reality at moments with comments like "I haven't seen DD since thursday have I" to "I don't know if I have eaten since thursday". Shes all bruised up on her arms and you can see where fingers bruised her throat and neck. Cut on her forarm. Doesn't have a clue who did it. Without emotion I commented "Maybe you were raped while in a blackout". No comment from her.

Had to let it all go just like water off a ducks back.

Tried to make it clear she can grab whatever she wants that is hers out of the house when she gets out but she can not stay. Reminded her she was to have done that sunday.

Let her parents know where she was since they had not heard from her since late last week.

From what I gather nothing happened here over the course of almost the last month. NO D or it doesn't matter. We can still live together. The facade of being a happy family in the lake house "Resort" setting can be kept up.

Delusional.

I am going to stay the course Plan B and if it means calling the sheriff to get her to leave then I will have to do it.

Before I get 2X's let me say the AA Responsibilty Pledge is "Whenever anyone, anywhere reaches out for help I want the hand of AA always to be there. For that I am responsible."

Going to talk to other members of my home group and see if this situation would come up again if they would be willing to take her. This would keep me out of the drama and listening to the rambeling.

This is just so sick. Feels like she is just trying to get me to jump in and save her somehow. What I could do I don't know at this point and haven't for some time.
As she is I don't even want to be around her at this point.

Just needed to rambel myself

IC on thursday.

nESRE

Nesre my XH is an alcholic too and that was his main reason for the A,,,he found a drinker like himself.

I have been reading your thread and I also am familiar with Alnon.

You are not her sponsor. Yes it is ok for members of AA to reach out when someone asks for help but it should not come from you.

She is still expecting you to save her. With someone like her she has to hit the rock rock bottom.

2 options for next time.

Call the police to remove her from your home and do not go home till she is gone

Call her sponsor or someone in AA who will go over and take her out and do not go home till she is gone.

As long as you rescue her in any way or form that is enabling her.

Good luck it is not an easy rode. Blessings.

Thanks Hope.

Last night was unexpected that she would want to go voluntarily. I was within a few minutes of home when she text. When I got there and saw how bruised and beat up she was I thought CMA. This was day 6 of the binge. In the past she threatened to call the cops and say I did it to her. My thoughts last night were lets just get you outta here fast if your willing to go.

I will find a contact person who will jump when need be. Not for her but for me.

Thanks for following along.

nESRE

[/quote]


She is still expecting you to save her. With someone like her she has to hit the rock rock bottom.

2 1 options for next time.

Call the police to remove her from your home and do not go home till she is gone

Call her sponsor or someone in AA who will go over and take her out and do not go home till she is gone.


As long as you rescue her in any way or form that is enabling her.

Good luck it is not an easy rode. Blessings.
[/quote]



Order for protection just granted by the court 10 minutes ago.

More later gotts run

nESRE

(((((((((( nESRE ))))))))))

Thanks Pep

The whole support group IRL and from previous posts here convinced me that the only way to truely keep her out was to go this route.

The respect of my feelings or needs by her has been gone for quite some time now.

I put a boat load of info on the forms for the OFP and the judge ordered a hearing. I did not request one. Now we wait until she is served or if she is at the house I can call and they will remove her.

This step will honour what was written in the decree. I have (petiononer) sole
occupancy of the house until sold to the exclusion of the respondant(WW).

Maybe ths is the same judge that will be hearing WW's dui case. I should get the name by saturday.

Somehow WW got keys to the house. Maybe copied DD's keys since she is a heavy sleeper. Took them to town and got them copied and then put them back. She did take DD to work and dropped her car off for some repair. Could have easily been done.

Anyway WW has kept standing on the legal aspect of the house. It is in both of our names. I questioned 3 different sheriffs at different times and they said with the wording of the decree they would not make WW leave but would turn it over to a civil matter. Now with this new devolpment it turns it criminal.

I just want Alcoholic WW to stay away. Really see what she is missing. Free to fall from her own poor choices. Or as a good alcoholic would do drink a lot. Thats what they (we) do when there seems to be no other choices in life. A drink will help....

As long as I am involved in any way shape or form its enabeling. I get that.

Just been to passive up to this point. Thought D might wake her up. Now she is coming to terms with what was in it. EX-just because there is total x#$$ in an annuity doesn't mean thats exactly what you will get.

Appears she is enrolled in the College of HardKnocks. I've also spent time there before.

She had no lawyer and was drunk through a lot of it.

Really want to be at home in the house and I am not free to do that when I have no clue when she will bounce in or what shape she will be in.

The threats of DV charges brought against me would be tough to fight since there would probably be no witnesses and the bruises would be all over her. I would have to prove myself innocent and that would be tough to do.

That was on the forms and maybe one of the deciding factors.


Would really like to get settled into plan B for myself. Also would help DD since she would be free to visit when she felt like it.

Gotta run. Batteries getting low.

nESRE

Slow suicide of a person we have loved is just terrible.

Still in progress.

OFP granted and found out it was served Thursday before I got home. Talked to the neighbors this a.m. and they said there were 3 sheriffs here. DD was also gone so she did not know anything about it.

Supposedly OFP was served and she left. Then came back to the house after. There may be more charges filed since they caught her driving and was drunk??????!!!###@@^^??

I called the sheriff and confirmed the OFP was indeed served.

Plan B finally for real? Not much like the MB's way is it?

Neighbors said FIL ended up coming and getting her and then a short time later they came back and he drove the car out with MIL driving their car. Have not talked to them but will probably do so tommorrow.

The car is now sitting about 501' down the road at POSOM's house and has been since last night.

Neighbors said a whole group of people (buisness lunch type setting) left the drinking/food establisment down the road yesterday since at 11:30 a.m. she was in there and so drunk and obnoxious they just left.

HEY BALDO-YOUR PROBLEM NOW. Neighbors also said they had seen her the night of DUI #1 with Baldo and they don't know if they had ever saw her so drunk before and driving??

Enough of that crap.

Neighbor let me know she and her H support me and will keep a close watch on the place. They will call the sheriff if they see her here-no questions asked.

Neighbors also think they may have a buyer for the house at a higher price than I expected. I could sure use a little cash after all this to get restarted somewhere else other than close to downtown He!!.

Gonna get on the bike soon here and let the wind try and blow my troubles away for a while. Something about crackin that throttle open. I guess thats why I call my bike LOUD Serenity.

Thanks to all who have help support me along the way.

nESRE

No three guesses. You know who broke into the house today.

Cops were called but she must have went out the back when she saw them drive in.

OFP Hearing at 10 am tuesday.

Police report will be part of it. Try to update tuesday night

nESRE

Your strength and fortitude are amazing, whilst going through your own particuar hell you have the time, energy and wisdom to offer to others.

Thank you, your gentleness shines through.

Your welcome and thank you Tanam. Whilst I read this I imagined a soft spoken British accent in my head for some reason!

Continuation today as a result of the hearing. Guess where WW is again?

Gonna give you all a guess and thi time there is a big time prize package. No peeking at the prize first.

Make sure to click on the link to see your fun filled trip 2012 could be. OOps-gave part of it away.




Continued until July 5th. Judge would take no action today and basically would not hear anything since she did not show. This does still keep the OFP in place until she does show. I would imagine if the same excuse is used next time a warrant for contempt of court will be issued.

Can you imagine that? The judge broke my Plan B and let me know where she was.



Making plans for he 4th to try and have people out and see if I can show the teens how to wake board. Weather has been cold and have not had a boat driver here I could trust.

Gotta run. Had to do yardwork and other chores tonight and its gotten awfully late.

Really just too busy to really miss WW at this point. It is when I sit down with nothing to do that I dwell. Thats probably not going to happen until late November with the way everything is going.

I/C tomorrow night.

next time

nESRE

Jail?

Come on Pep. I can see you and Mr Pep holding hands as you take the plunge! Gaurenteed event you will probably never forget!

You were close. DETOX. Your one step ahead. The sheriff could not find her the other day when she broke into the house. So "Some One" broke in.

DD drove her to her parents house. Some time during the early am she had them drive her to detox.

She will need documentation for missing court. MIL called me early this am and asked if she could come and get clothes and personals. Supposedly WW alcoholic will be in treatment program within 48 hours. Heard this before.

Gotta run. Try to post more later.

nESRE

Sherriff called and WW used her one free trip into the house for 1/2 hour to get her personals and such. FIL & DD also were present. FIL dropped her off at a treatment Program in our city. Car is parked at his house.

The program is in patient. The first 23 days there is no leaving the facility except for court or medical reasons. The next 22 days are sober housing and counseling. More like an outpatient program with sober housing. To stay in the program you are subject to their rules and may be tested any time for alcohol or drugs.

Had I/C yesterday. Counselor was very adament about keeping the court appt. on july 5th. Rehearse all the lines (reasons to be granted permanent OFP) from a written script 10 X's before tuesday. Weekend homework.

We talked about the feeling I have that I describe as "landing on my feet". For close to 30 years all I have tried to do was provide the best way possible for my family and have small slice of what I like to think is the good life.

That dream now has changed and I am not sure through out all this turmoil what gets put back into my life to make up whats known to me as nESRE. I am a bit lost and running on auto pilot.

As the alchoholic WW has gotten sicker along the way I pulled more and more slack with responsibilities and financially. Now at this point I know I have to depend on nESRE totally. Overwhelmed with a to-do list.

I know I am not where I want to be. The house was bought as an investment knowing both incomes would be needed. I can make it on my income but I like to eat well and have fun. It is now a trigger of a past I am not sure I want to stay around. It did make me feel better 2 different neighbors at 2 seperate times opened up to me and said please stay. We would like it if only you would stay. Also the work associated with keeping the place up is not what I am intested in. When we were together we made a pretty good team and could hussle through the work pretty fast. Now its just getting done halffast. Say that last word 3 x's and you will catch on.

I/c suggested I try to find someone to come into the house and provide general cleaning once a week to help me out. She shot down the idea real quick if I should use Arnolds plan.

I feel relieved WW ended up where she is. I have no anomosity. I feel no reason for revenge or why is this happening to me (SELF PITY).

I cried a lot of tears when we were seperated the last two previous times. March to July 15 2010 & Jan to march 2011. Just couldn't watch the slow suicide event. I have
accepted the fact the M is over. My W will die from alcoholism should she continue drinking. I am powerless to cure, control, and I did not cause it any more than I caused her to have A's.

When I was on the bike a few weeks ago and I posted it here it was just like my eyes opened up to a new way of seeing life. One where I am going to do whats in my best intrest for me and my DD. The stages of greiving. I have been going through them even while being physically in the same house with my W.

We will see if this hits again at some point down the road. All the support I have had along the way has been a God Send. It probably means the most my FIL & MIL still support me and have a R even though all this. It has been extremely hard on them emotionally.

Strawberries are in prime picking right now and I have at least 3 gallons to clean when I get home tonight with probably another gallon ready to pick today?

DS,his GF, & another friend of mine are going to come out sat afternoon. Also see if brother and niece will come out. We are going to keep it simple. Cook on the grill and if the weather is hot play on the lake. If it is so so maybe fish. We will keep it open.

If anyone wants to stop in later in the day we will have a fire by the lake around dusk. All the fixins for smores will be there. Make sure to bring you own mosquito spray and folding chair. Coffee, pop and water will be provided. Fireworks will be somewhere around 10 pm give or take a half hour.

Pep-If you and Mr Pep want to stop I will personally make you the best smores you ever had in your life! I will even try to get the loons to sing for you. Their calling one another across the lake are beautiful to hear.

nESRE

Room for a brit?

Never had a smore or heard the loons!

There is something about realising that you can survive this isn't there, you will be fine, WW has to make her own decisions.

My wake up call was partly when my IC pointed out that I was his wife, not his mother. Once that sunk in the rest became easier.

Hang on in there, she has no idea what she is throwing away.

I am learning how to be soft spoken but yes it's a brit accent like on Coronation Street if you ever watched it!!

Thinking of you

Live joyfully every day.

It is pleasing to God.

Make sure not to park on the neighbors grass. They are a little on the up tight- stressor- type people.

Kind of snobby week enders from the big city.

nESRE

Thanks for stopping by! Hope you and Mr. Pep have a great weekend planned.

nESRE