(((((SusieQ))))))

SusieQ - I read this thread often to remind myself why I am in plan B. Your WH and my WH are acting like the boys they are today.

It is so sad when a wayward gets to this point.

Stay Strong - I know Plan B for me is really helping me to move forward in my life. I have set backs and days still when I am sad. For the most part they are starting to be less frequent.

Tough~

We have NOT stopped praying for you, the kids, and even Chris.

Chris if you DO read this thread, and you may be lurking, please stop where you are. Stop this second, and read MY signature line.

My xwh destroyed himself and his relationship with his two kids (one with me and the other with the wistress ow he married who was pregnant during our separation). He never could learn how to be a man who had SELF CONTROL. He never did. He instead further absorbed himself in the painful, foggy selfishness that defines the wayward state.

My son refuses to EVER speak to his father again, and without my interfering in that at all. Last year he came to that conclusion on his own. In his little barely 12 years of wisdom.

If you have the ability to still pray, then get on your knees and pray. Turn your heart upwards to God and STOP THIS NOW.

Your window of any possibility of change is closing and closing rapidly. Your life will be forever changed and never ever for the good.

And I ask you to consider the wisdom of my divorce attorney who told me this, "Peachy, any woman who would actively date KNOWINGLY a married man and father, is somebody who I would have investigated." He also went on to say this, "And furthemore, any woman or man who DOES this type of behavior, knowingly breaking up a marriage being the other person, COULD NEVER EVER be truly trusted around the children from the previous marriage (marriage broken apart) because their needs will ALWAYS TRUMP that of any child."

I remember hearing him say that to me in a conference room. A little teeny one off to the side of the courtroom. I am saying this to you NOW as none of these horrible ow could ever be a decent stepmother to your children.

Want to know what ended up happening to my xwh? Chris he NEVER repented. He ended up cheating on his ow immediately after their baby was born 2 mos after our divorce. He ended up having more risky behaviors and got fired from his position as ceo of his own company. He ended up losing more money. But before he did, he had yet another affair on his wistress (the ow wife) and it was with a stripper. He paid for her house and all the furnishings in it. One month of paying for the stripper was MORE THAN DOUBLE what he ever paid for child support for his own son. He (formerly a good Christian man) got the stripper pregnant and MADE her abort the baby.

In the end, the house went into foreclosure he and his affair wife were in. He lost his job, all his money, and faced huge legal issues from the stripper and yet another affair, and his divorce was final in March from his affair wife and she too, like myself, has sole custody of their child.

Do you want to go down that path to hell? Do you? Do you love your kids enough to stop it now? CHRIS YOU ARE AN ADDICT. Do you hear me? YOU ARE AN ADDICT. I am a health professional telling YOU that YOU are an addict! Your behavior says it enough.

Your silence here tells me either you enjoy the self-adoration, the ADMIRATION the other skanky women pile on you, or else you've lost the ability to reason. Which is it Chris?

CAN YOU SEE THE DESTRUCTION THIS ADDICTION HAS CAUSED? I know I might be preaching to the rafters here, but I believe you still lurk because deep down YOU HATE WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME.

And if that is something you wish to exorcise from your life, that urge, that need for the fake adoration from the other women, then CALL DR. HARLEY and ASK FOR HELP. ASK FOR THE TOUGHEST HELP YOU CAN GET. ASK TO DO WHATEVER YOU CAN DO TO SAVE your wife, your kids, and YOURSELF from becoming another dad who lost it all after he abandoned his marriage AND HIS KIDS AND WIFE.

Do not be as my xwh will be on his deathbed, when he looks back and wonders "why"? Why did I do all of that to those who loved me?

Wow. I was just going to mention the vast amount of destruction Chris was signing on for, but...there's just too much.

SusieQ,

((SusieQ))

Ugh. Susie, I am so mad at your H! What a waste of a peaceful life!
Prayers going up for you, sis.

(((susieq)))

uggh

Hi SusieQ,
Just wanted to say so sorry to hear that you are going through all this. It is so disheartening to hear that your H has not learned anything from MB. But I am praying for you. Be strong and know that there are people out here pulling for you to succeed and live the life you deserve.

-Txnatheart

Thank you so much for the support and prayers. You all mean a lot to me. D is filed and I feel OK with it.

Oh, I feel so much better now that I have been back in Plan B for a few days...

All you Plan B'ers-------> STAY dark!!!!!!


(ps TX, how are you? You were going to go to Plan B but then you disappeared, how about an update??)

Susie - did you do Plan B in '07? Is this the first time you filed?

Has he IM'd anything since he was served?

This is my first time in PB and first time filed.

On dday #1 in '07, I did the woman scorned thing and booted him out and went to Plan FU. He begged me for another chance and I didn't know what to do until I found MB. I went to Plan A, had him come back and we worked on R (or so I thought).

No, now that he is with OW4 (I think he is living with her) he won't talk to me.

When I first went into Plan B, he sent my IM lots of regretful messages that she didn't pass on to me.

Literally about a week before he started dating OW4, I broke my Plan B and called him and he sounded so happy to hear from me....until I gave it to him.... (In my defense I found out something very offensive that he had done and I had just had a couple of drinks!)

Hi Susie,
I thought about posting an update, but I wasn't sure if I should go back to my original thread or start a new one.

I'll be honest though, I just about had a heart attack when I saw your sig line change a few months ago!

Are you feeling ok?

-Txnatheart

If I remember correctly, your last thread when you were encouraged to go to Plan B had enough of your background to get everyone up to speed, so I would use that one! Look forward to reading your update...happy to see you are in R!




I'll be honest...it has been hard to understand this. The first time he did this, it made sense, especially after I found this site, as we weren't meeting each other's needs, etc.

Not like this time, we had a romantic marriage and I thought we were happy. Each time we got together with our coupled friends, we were so playful and affectionate with each other compared to them. I would think "MB works!" and I felt proud(?) that I stuck it out with him. OK, I am getting upset now writing this but overall, I have accepted it...

I can see clearly now how bad his addiction to women is...with how he is now prioritzing this new OW over his children. I worry so much that he will push her on them and how that will affect them... His proposal from his lawyer today for the visitation agreement had language about not introducing the children during the D to romantic interests unless there is a feeling it will be a lasting relationship and that said person will be a positive influence in the children's lives.

WH can think again if he thinks I will go for that!

Seriously, overall, I am doing OK. Thanks for asking

That deserves to be in the stupidest things to come out of a wayward's pie hole thread.



positive influence ?

Oh, just ICK. Like you're going to go for that. He obviously missed the part where he is married to a woman who is smart.

Wow! I can't believe the nerve of him. Really?!?

You know, when I read Chris's posts, it was amazing. I think had my H ever posted here, he would have sounded exactly the same.

Has he seen the kids at all since the last visit? How are they handling everything?

I will post an update soon.

-Txnatheart

SusieQ

I follow your posts and advice that you share on this board and even in your time of hurt you still give excellent MB advice.

You have helped me more than you will ever know and I just wanted to say "Thank you" and I hope all is well for you and the kids.

SuzieQ,

If bumping this thread triggers you, i am deeply sorry.

I read through this entire thread because you posted the link to someone earlier today.

What a dreadful experience and i feel so sad for what you and your children were put through.

Did WXH ever get his act together to be any where near a proper parent?

Dang, his Fog was thick. What an unremorseful S.O.B.

I really felt the lawyer that spoke about the OP was so right on. Geez, my WW hasn't even seen our S-10 in over 9 months now, nor has she even spoken to the poor little young man.

Just last night he mentioned like it feels like over a year since he saw his mom. He doesn't want 1X per month or even 1X per week, but 2X per day is what he said.

I hope WXH gets what he deserves!!!

LTL

Hi LTL, I don't mind this thread being bumped. It doesn't trigger me and I think it can offer lurkers a lot to think about. Maybe mostly how quickly things can unravel when appropriate EPs are not adhered to, which I see often on these boards, folks continuing to engage in risky behavior.

Anyway, to answer your Q about WxH, he is now married to OW4, and since the relationship has cooled considerably, he does seem more focused on his kids when he is with them vs being so obsessed w/OW4.

OW4 is a "fighter" (Dr Harley's words, he said she is like Omarosa from Celebrity Apprentice). She has had MANY screaming brawls with ex in front of the kids (DD17 only goes to their place once every month or so and they are fighting almost every time she visits), she has fought with DD to the point of harassment and she has posted ugly things about me on FB and emailed me manifestos.

Dr Harley told me that she will be very disappointed in the relationship with WxH and she will want to take it out on me and to get out of the way so I closed my FB page and I just ignore her as much as possible.

So yes, I do think WxH got exactly what he deserves, I can only imagine living in an environment like that is HELL. I almost feel sorry for him (crazy, I know!)

Sorry to hear of your situation and thank you for checking in

That's unfortunate that DD-17 has to deal with that toxicity, but at least she is of the age to not be completely dependent on her dad and hopefully has a fulfilling life with the rest of her family, especially you, her Mom.

I also read Black Ravens link to her H's thread.

Dang, he "seemed" like he was getting on board, but i am finding that when a WS avoids answering certain posted questions, that it usually just a front put on for display.

Your WH was pretty much an azz right from the get go. No offense meant towards you, but just how he responded.

God Bless you for sticking around. You are very helpful to so many in need, along with so many other learned vets here.

LTL