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Yes, I have done that since day before yesterday. I have enough in place financially/logistically that I really have no reason to respond to him at all.
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I mean I was trying to do Plan B, but he moved out and I wanted to refi the house so we had to sign papers together. That is how he had contact. Plus, he just showed up at my work to drop something off.
I'm much more resolved to not have ANY contact whatsoever now that I feel more comfortable that I can maintain my home and kids with the financial arrangement I have.
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Does cake eating mean some sort of connection to me?
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Cake-eating means that he gets to have you, and OW too. He has you (one sort of cake) and gets to 'eat cake' (OW).
It's a way of saying he goes from one of you to another, and this causes a great deal of pain to you, the BS.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I know that is what he is doing, and I'm not going to participate, its just that I've been thinking he has NO feelings for me whatsoever. Does the cake eating attempt mean there is at least a little something there? Or is it just out of guilt? Fear?
It's just to illogical to me, to point blank say you are not going to give up MOW, and yet want to mow the lawn.
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He is thinking only of himself right now. Right now he only cares about HIMSELF. You are not even on his radar.
He wants to feel like a good family man for a couple of hours with you and go back and party with his MOW.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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These are excerpts from a post that Pepperband made. There is a wayward husband posting, and Pepperband's translations which are astonishingly accurate as to how waywards think and behave. I've bolded Pep's translations. I then told the OW that I wanted to be back with my W and so I started sneaking around W's house leaving anonymous love notes, clues, etc. She caught me one morning and asked what I wanted. I told her I wanted to be with her forever. We moved back in together.
Now I find myself giddy with the affection of 2 women who both want ME ME ME ME ME ME. I get to go from one to the other making promises I cannot keep. I am high as a kite. This is the "high" that some veterans might tell you about. The WS's pursue this high endlessly, just like a crackhead pursues his crack. She wanted me to quit my job, but I said I couldn't.
Who cares what my wife wants? I sure don't.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I know that is what he is doing, and I'm not going to participate, its just that I've been thinking he has NO feelings for me whatsoever. Does the cake eating attempt mean there is at least a little something there? Or is it just out of guilt? Fear?
It's just to illogical to me, to point blank say you are not going to give up MOW, and yet want to mow the lawn. Don't try to see any logic to this. There is none. He is doing things at the house to make himself feel better. There is a small voice inside of him that is telling him how wrong his actions are. He's doing things to shut up that voice. Taking care of things at the house makes him feel better about his actions.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Had a visit with him last night about boundaries and he is just like an addict trying to protect his stash in regard to MOW. It's unbelievable how he tried to twist things when I was calmly discussing what I thought was a boundary we had agreed upon, but he broke (thinking he could just keep it a secret.) Well now he suggests putting everything like that in writing. What? Whatever.
Going absolute radio silent with him now. Drop the rope and moving on. He is so ridiculous.
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So now the entire marriage has been a mistake. That is what he told his sister. I know it's fog babble, but wow, what a killer thing to hear.
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These are excerpts from a post that Pepperband made. There is a wayward husband posting, and Pepperband's translations which are astonishingly accurate as to how waywards think and behave. I've bolded Pep's translations. I then told the OW that I wanted to be back with my W and so I started sneaking around W's house leaving anonymous love notes, clues, etc. She caught me one morning and asked what I wanted. I told her I wanted to be with her forever. We moved back in together.
Now I find myself giddy with the affection of 2 women who both want ME ME ME ME ME ME. I get to go from one to the other making promises I cannot keep. I am high as a kite. This is the "high" that some veterans might tell you about. The WS's pursue this high endlessly, just like a crackhead pursues his crack. She wanted me to quit my job, but I said I couldn't.
Who cares what my wife wants? I sure don't. Oh! I forgot about this. Can you link to this thread? Thanks.
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I'm in Plan B, but need to do it better as we had contact during family funeral and kid things. I have been able to finally get some time in my day where his A is not constantly on my mind. It is hard not to give up all hope. Or maybe that is what I should do and just move on. I know this takes time, but how does one hang in there and just not be done with it all?
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http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2169497It was so darn amusing to read over and over because it's so accurate. It helps me keep in mind that nothing these wayturds say is solid.
Last edited by karmasrose; 07/14/11 01:21 PM. Reason: can't make link work
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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You need to go completely dark, is what you need. That will make things much, much easier on you and will give you time away from the waywardness.
It is so in the case that he maybe decides to come home, your LB will not be completely drained from all the crap he is spewing now. Think of Plan B as a bulletproof vest and the wayward crap as a bullet.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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