Morning all once again.....<P>I see what aal of you are saying...I know, I know, I keep flip-flopping on these subjects. I need to stand my ground I know, it's a lot harder to do than say when you have a child involved and yet another child on the way. I honestly do feel the best thing I could do would be to give her her walking papers and then that just might slap her into reality of what she's done. I truely feel she doesn't have a clue...and why should she, like you all said, she's been getting away with it. I'm sure in the back of her head she thinks she can do anything and I'll just forgive herr for it. Yes, I do feel like she's playing me. Case in point, lastnight she told me she decided NOT to have the DNA test done next week. That we should just wait till after the child's born and do it then. It's hundreds of $$ less and there's no risk involved. Plus we already are assuming it's not mine for obvious reasons, it's jst a matter of what we'd tell the families and when. Plus after the child's born, the father will be taking the test to verify it. Now for the kicker.....whether she meant to or not, she had a "slip" lastnight that made me think there could actually be a 3rd possible candidate for father of this child! She insisted she didn't mean it that way. This may be the case, it could have been a simple slip of the tongue, but I will persue it more...she will eventually admit if there was another. As far as the sex goes, yes I do agree I need to withhold it from her.

Blues, the purpose of distancing yourself from her is not to punish or play a mental game. It's to preserve you from further hurt. It doesen't always work. <BR>There is still more shocking revelations out there. these hit like a knife in the heart each time you get them. The distance will give you some kind of cushion. It was very difficult for me too. As time went on it got easier. So step back a bit and then a bit more. Other than what you have already lost, you cannot lose anymore. She is the one who has everything to lose. Which is why she has chosen to stay with you. Since she is nuts right now, you need to be in control of your life, not her.<BR> <BR>Concerning the DNA test. You may want to check with a lawyer concerning the paternity status before birth and after birth. <P>Its' a tough situation you're in that keeps getting compounded by these late revalations and the baby. <p>[This message has been edited by fighter (edited August 25, 1999).]

Women like that..here's a suggestion: Faulty brake lines, and a nice downhill slope.<P>Whoops..terrible accident.

You are in an extremely complicated situation. You need to find out your state laws concernig who has to support the baby once it comes into the world. Most states will have the finacial responsibility placed on the husband as long as she gives birth while you two are still married. You are going to definitely have to make hard choices in the near future. You may be forced to take care of this child until the child is legal, OM will not have to bear financial responsibility unless he wants to be in the child's life. You could possibly have all of the financial responsibility and OM can yet still see his child if your wife continues to sneak around on you.

Blues, you know I have to add my two cents to this everyday. I think you better just be careful, for all you know she has already done some checking into this DNA stuff, meaning she may know from a law stand point that she should postpone it. I agree with one of the other replies, you need to take care of you and a little distance would be best even if its in the home. Like sleeping separate, doing things apart....I just don't want you to get hurt anymore. I know your heart tells you one thing, but don't let her walk on it either.....keep us posted!

Hi Blues<P>Truley sorry for your troubles. Just another statement here to keep ya sane brother....<P>Females give SEX to get LOVE.<BR>Males give LOVE to get SEX.<P>(not serious but it sure seems like it...)<P>Good Luck<BR>_____________________________________________<BR>"Better to die on my feet than live on my knees"