If this isn't a team,I don't know what is. Indie, you have at it with the champions you have here! You are in good hands!

This helps. No matter what's ahead, this helps.

Thanks surfer, thanks everyone.

Beginning to feel wary about the plan b letter. It makes sense to do it, it cuts her out and trying it takes away any 'what ifs' for me. But it will hurt. Could do with a few insights from vets: -

How quick a response can be expected from Plan B, feel I need to give myself a deadline in which to draw a line under it.

I am putting my heart on the line by doing plan b letter, can anyone tell me how soon after the letter they started to feel
It was a positive experience.

Got evidence of hotel and texts all enveloped up and addressed for black widows parents. Hand delivery this afternoon should make it a lot less comfortable for him to just nip round the house.
Going to see his m & d too.

her husband parents i mean

I'm considering threatening BWidow. Just the basic, you dont see him, your house is off limits, or I step things up.

I would threaten that evidence goes public on facebook and I start putting banners up around town. Will disrupt public events with banners and protests to the point it becomes a news story (when her h died it was in local news)

On the texts he said to her 'you give me a sense of worth' seeing me fight for him may untangle that advantage?

Hi Indie

Oh it is horrid isn't it.

They say and do the most awful things.

Hang on in there, you are clearly worth 2 of the BWidow, you have support and friends, you did nothing that made him behave this way.

Hugs from a wet Saturday morning in Derbys!!

Thanks Tanam, you too.

Brit Brat,

Tried to PM you, but couldn't:- Phoned up company for hard drive imaging, they say I don't need it?

When I asked what I wanted I said admin password and they told me to go to a regular PC World for that, cost about �95.

Am I actually asking for the right thing.. sounds dim but what am I specifically asking them to do?

Right indie got my H on the task he is very pc savvy so can you please just tell me what version of windown the laptop has

google ophcrack, you dowload this program you burn it onto a cd adn put it into the laptop and it automatically cracks any windows user password that the pc has.

Basically this program does the following: after a few minutes of running the software it will find all of your passwords and display them on the screen.

Its free and has a good safety review.

Sorry when you google it your looking for the one called ophcrack live cd.

Hope that helps.

Threatening the OW is going to do you no good. OWs are a real waste of your time and breath. I confronted the OW in my sitch and it actually sent me for a tailspin instead. Especially when they are preadtory OW. What will happen is that you will ruin whatever Plan A you get in until Thursday. OW will go to your WH and play the victim. When you send your WH the Plan B letter, you should send her a copy of it as well with an extra line that says something like, "I am willing to make WH happy and I am patient enough to wait you out.". This way she knows that he didn't pick her. That YOU forced him to do this and that you aren't going away that easily. If you are going to email it to her, make sure that you get a new email addy first. I figured out that my WHs OW probably didn't get the letter. She most likely bloacked me. Oh well. Doesn't matter much.

Now, about how long you will be in Plan B. I would say that you give it at least 18 months from now. How long do you have to be separated before you can get a D? Here it is a year of separation and then if everyone agrees on finances, it takes 31 days after it is filed to be final.

How long will it take for Plan B to be effective on your WH? That is a aquestion that doesn't need to be asked. I know that when you are thinking about going into Plan B you look at it is a save for your marriage. It CAN be but that's not the real reason to go into Plan B. The real reason to go into Plan B is to save yourself from the abuse and drama that the affair is causing you. A benefit of Plan B CAN be that your WH wakes up from his A induced coma and comes home. Most likely, that won't happen for a while. Who knows? But his cake eating will stop. And you will show him and everyone else that you have self worth. That's why you need to go into Plan B.

How long will it take for you to feel better during Plan B? That answer depends on you and how dark you stay. You will go through a sort oif withfrawal at first. That will last a couple of weeks, as long as you don't have ANY contact, directly or otherwise with BOTH WH AND OW. You will start to feel better and stronger as long as you focus on YOU and changing your life for the better.

Today is 18 months since I started Plan B and I am so much better than I could have imagined. I stay as dark as possible(I have young kids so it is a bit harder to stay dark). I have learned to make a life for myself and my children without my WH. I am not only surviving my WHs affair, I am thriving.

We'll help you get through this. Let's just focus on getting you through these last few days in Plan A and then transitioned to Plan B.

Bad idea.


Control yourself.

Your TAKER wants to kick some butt.
Do something good for yourself which will calm your TAKER down and not compromise your Plans.

This allows you to see what EN she is filling.
You step in on your coffee date and give his "self worth" some love. Even if you must FAKE IT.

Do not be discouraged.
All waywardnutasshats say crap like this to each other.

You fight OW by your Plan A coffee date.
Make it all about him.
See if you can listen hard to hear the "ka-chink" of the love bank deposits.

Remember, you are creating a memory of what you can do for him these final Plan A days.

NO RELATIONSHIP TALK what-so-ever.

If he tries to talk serious, place 2 fingers gently over his lips and say ...

"Shhhhh. Let's just have fun today."

Flirt like crazy.

Indie,

Sorry, I just saw your post to me....Hard drive imaging will tell you EVERYTHING that's on or been on that computer. You may not need that if you can gain access to his stuff. First try what the guy recommended or the program suggested by NB.

Thanks for tech advice guys, will do.

Please tell me if the following shows I've fudged up. Hardface Bwidow has been kicking up a fuss - and you guessed it, playing the victim.

I didnt confront her but I did put printed out facebook message, hotel receipt and text message through parents door.

Im not sure actually if parents got it as her sister lives with them and i dont know if she supports the A.

Bw turned up at my parents house with two women in tow - both had her dumpling figure according to my dad - so one is her sis but the other one not sure of.

He said it was 'a half hearted' knock he barely heard, only came to window in time to see them leaving

You really called it when you said she'd play the victim.

My H then calls my BiL saying Bwidow "doesnt appreciate having letters through people's doors" (Does she think ive done that to everyone?)
Also that she's going to the police "because it's slander" (the illiterate skankos).
My response was just that its her right to try that.
I hope she enjoys being laughed at.

Damage report oh wise ones?

So mad.

The letter was addressed to Mr and Mrs etc, but skank's sis may have seen me or someting?

Apparently 'my evidence had better be good' because she was busy that weekend.
I bet she was.
And it better be good for what?
Who does she think she IS?

BWidow is too confusing
Sounds like betrayed widow.
Pick something else.

Lol at BlackWidow-SkankHoe-nutJob-vile humanspeciemen.

Dont worry about any such threats they are seriousely ridiculous, especially in the UK. When I FBooked all of the OW friends and family with the esposure letter, I got an email back from someone claiming to be her uncle and lawyer saying his lovely neice would never do anything like that and threatening to take me to court for slander, I calmly informed him slander was saying something that you know is false and have no evidence to support it is actual fact, never heard from the muppet again, so I guess although not leagally trained like him I was right.

Ask your sis to ask your H this next time he calls in defence of and speacking on behalf of this BWidow. if there is nothing going on between them two why does he feel the need to call and speack on her behalf??

She will play victim as what else can she do really Indie, is she really going to roll over and say "oh dear you got me I am going to hotel rooms with your H?" not likely.

I love scotlands idea of sending her a copy of the NC letter with the addedum at the bottom. Its priceless and as she seams to be a drama queen it might even kick off a few fights and make her insecure with your H.