LOL! love you all

Hi Indie

love the idea of this all over Jeremy Kyle!!

That might upset the BWidow a touch.

Hang on in there, whatever happens ultimately, you will be fine, you are a strong and beautiful woman. You didn't deserve this.

I have three q's

I like the 'remember when' emails. Should I give it a day or so before trying that considering all the murder I've caused today (hehe)

When arranging the coffee date (considering making it a q drink in the pub (a stop by on my way to plans with old friends) as hes not a fan of coffee places) do i sort of say are you free today, or do i give him a few timing options? I know his work shift pattern now and he's off tues and weds

What is 'deep' plan b? How does it differ to what ive been doing already, no contact etc.

I personally would try to stay out of a pub. Maybe meet in a park, for an ice cream......Something like that. You want it to be really casual and light. That way, you can have a little flirty fun.

If you are going to do those emails, I would say do one on Monday and one on Wednesday. Don't make it too fake. Try to have a fond memory but one that may also make him laugh or get a little admiration in.

A dark Plan B is absolutely NO CONTACT. You can't even think about WH and OW. No seeing, no emails, no drop bys, no snooping, not a peep. CRICKETS. Get it?

Ok, light - got it.

So dark pB means no intermeiary and maybe actively blocking stuff like numbers and FB accounts so i dont even know about them?

One more thing, vets

In your vast experience would this reaction to posted evidence suggest her parents now know?

Just concerned that her sis might have intercepted, her parents are like the top priority on the exposure list as they are her helpers and babysitters ....

Want to be sure ive got the 'remember when' concept right.....


Hey,

Do you remember when we were splashing about in the pool our first time in Mexico, just messing about and dunking each other? Been thinking about it all day. You said that my white bikini would go see through and I was all smug saying I had tested it in the shower. Just before I popped out my top on the water slide.

Come to think of it, I popped out my halter top on J's doorstep the night we got engaged. Something about being near you brings out the best in me!

You've always been there to make me laugh, make me happy, just by hanging out and being you. There've been so many good times. Don't want them to be forgotten, you know?

Just checking in with you.

Indie

I like the remember when email. I might leave out the part about not wanting it to end though.

Can you think of anything that you can talk about that will make him feel strong and manly? That could be the second one.

and you WOULD have an IM during Plan B. Yes, you would block your FB. Remove him and her from FB and possibly anyone that you have in common, as there may be some cross posting. You should change your phone numbers and email addys. Plan B isn't a whole lot of fun to get into, but once everything is planned out and executed, it is a lot more peaceful. I actually get MAD MAD MAD when I hear something about WH and OW now. It effects me and I don't like it. But it is few and far between. Probably would be less for you without any children to pass on "innocent" things.

Scotland will lead you in the Plan B advice.

IMO, I'd say to skip the 'remember when' emails with OW. That is trying to manipulate and teach a wayward - it typically doesn't work. I would not send anything to that wench that would even remotely appear to be an olive branch. This is WAR, indie. No warm fuzzies for OW. She is the ENEMY.

I don't know about the coffee date (he doesn't even like coffee places, right?) Why are you manufacturing a meeting like that with him?

Deep Plan B = total non-contact. That may be your best bet for getting his attention - your lack of attention.

MB, I didn't mean that the remember when emails would be sent to OW as well, just the Plan B letter.

I was trying to help Indie get in a few good Plan A moments since with him out of the house, she doesn't have a lot of opportunities before she actually enters Plan B.

Speaking of your Plan B preps, do you have things ready? Will you be getting support? Are you legally entitled to any? Do you know what you legal rights are? Do you have your own bank account? One that WH doesn't have access to. All of his things are gone right? He won't have any reason to contact you?

MB, the "meeting" is a Plan A move and was suggested by Pep. It is a good way to have some Plan A time and him wanting more. This way, when Plan B hits, there will be something to remember. If Indie is uncomfortable, or thinks that she would be too pressured, it would be best to not do it at all.

Indie, you are going to need to keep your Taker at bay big time. You won't want to do or say anything that will undo all of the hard work you have done. I want you to remember that. You just want to Plan A until the moment you Plan B. It is hard as heck, but it makes it easier when you are in Plan B. There won't be any doubt that you did EVERYTHING possible to save your marriage and you will be able to move on with a clear head. You can do this, just be prepared.

Indie a little support for your exposure route. Far to many Brits fear doing exposure, main message is so long as you tell the truth no one can touch you not even the law. The said newspaper is a bit sensationalist however the message is clear.



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-affair-multi-millionaire-lover-web.html

Agree it is war with OW, not interested in showing her remember when emails, they are just for h.

should i cc her a copy of the plan B letter though? It would send her into jealous nutsy land, but not sure it falls under category of classy. Shes also tactical enough to show him and tell him i only want revenge.

the coffedate is supposed to be my only real attempt at plan a post exposure - do you think a bad idea. he doesnt loathe coffee places, he can have a juice.

CCing OW on the Plan B letter is actually in SAA. That is where I got the idea from. It came from DrH so I trust it 100%.

And, I don't drink coffee but I still go out for "coffee" with friends. What you drink doesn't matter, it's the environment that you are in. If you are in a public place, like a coffee shop, your WH will be on his best behaviour. He may turn you down too. It would still be plan A just asking him to join you. You could still go and then take a pic of a yummy drink or scone in front of an empty chair and write some comment with it. Maybe.....

How are you doing today? It may be a little slow today, as it is Father's Day. Have you given a stab at reading my thread? It is pretty long, but I went into Plan B around page 44. You may get some extra support by reading it. There have been A LOT of people who have helped me. Some of them rarely post anymore. It might be a good way to spend some time.

Can you pull off a good Plan A with him during this date? I'm just worried that it will devolve into finger-pointing and anger - can you be at your best Plan A? What will you do when he inevitably brings up the exposure and the fallout from it?

I trust DrH an I trust you, just aware that have been putting my plans in place in a mixed order! Will take a look at thread

I can do it. I can do anything. When he brings up the fall out from exposure ill just change the subject.

Ive been talked around in circles so much by him im an expert

H- shes really upset and asked me tell you its not on.

M- youre a really good friend. Remember the time...(something comp diff happened)

If he goes, he goes.

But should I do it is the question, i have mixed my plans up a lot

I plan A'd for a week before exposure, though I had been non love busting for months and meeting his needs to some extent

I went staight to kicking him out and saying no contact, made him pick up his stuff.

now the plan pencilled in is a 'remember when' email to him

asking if he wants a q coffee

sending him lan B letter, with her cc'd in too.

Is this a plan that will work?

Remember to add the comments suggested at the bottom of the plan b letter you are sending her.

Yes. But are you completely prepared for Plan B? Do you have an intermediary set up? Does your intermediary understand their role? There is a thread around here about how to be an intermediary that explains this very well. I'll see if I can find the link. Are your finances set up in such a way that you can do Plan B without having to contact him at all? Are you protected financially? I don't remember if you have children, but if you do, have you figured out kid exchanges if there will be visitation? If your answers to all of these questions are yes, then yes, this is a good plan.

I love the coffee shop idea. Plan A like a Rock Star no matter what he says during this visit. Remember your goal-- to Plan A.

When do you plan on giving him the Plan B letter? And yes, definitely CC her.