Finah,

I do not have the experience of other posters, so take what I say as a voice from the back of the room.

When you move back in WW will do a lot of sniping and snide remarks. Just remember that the affair has nothing to do with you. Its just about her selfish choices. Your right to be angry, but channel the anger to this forum.

She is not who she was before. You have no control over her actions. You can only provide consequences. Your marriage will be very different than before, assuming it survives this. There is a long road to recovery. If there is enough love left for her, you may be able to get her to come back to the marriage. Otherwise, you can feel comfortable choosing dissolution.

Cypress

She was a tad bit snippy. As to be expected. I didnt get mad just told her this was also my house and I needed to get a way for a bit and now I'm back. Then proceeded to tell me that we aren't sleeping in the same bed. lol. There is only one bed here not quite sure how she will force me out of that. Then she left. Either to the OM apartment or her friends house. She mentioned dissolution and I basically told her well no one has started that process yet so.

She got pretty heated. "You have no right to be here. I'm going to call the cops. None of this stuff is yours blah blah" Why are u even here. It's over. I contacted an attorney.

Pretty much the typical stuff u read.

Still denies she is involved with another man. On and on.

Workplace exposure is coming up. Will be interesting to say the least

Good job!!

If I were you I would buy a recorder. It is often a tactic of particularly nasty WWs to accuse the BH of abuse, call the cops, and get him out and the OM into the house.

So how should I be acting towards her. Right now I am just standing my ground but all she wants to do is argue and dictate what I can and can't do in our home.

Her stepdad is the one who advised her to call the police and is guiding her thru this

I have my iPhone on me. Will record our convos if it gets heated again

The veterans of the board will have more specific advice as to how to deal with her, but the recorder is something critical right now.

Buy a recorder as soon as the iPhone takes to long to activate and is not designed for the clarity of recordings you want.

Also don't just record the bad but all contact with her. When she talks about how bad you are talking to her you can play a few good ones.

I hope that made sence.

Yeah makes total sense. Just unsure if I should be trying to meet any of her EN's or a plan a approach now that I am back in the home.

Just be as polite as possible! And if the police show up tell them this is your home and your wife is having an affair and you have no intention of leaving. Don't leave unless FORCED. If they ask you to leave just to keep the peace, tell them thank you but no thanks. Let them know you promise not to cause any trouble and she should promise the same.

Like the others said, be sure and keep your recorder on in case she tries to play "abuse" card and get you removed a via restraining order. And don't think she won't do it either.

K will do guys/gals Thx for the advice

Well I laid down for a bit expecting to see my wife in bed next to me since there is currently only one bed in the home. Nope she went in the other room. Locked the door and is apparently sleeping on the floor with
the dogs.�

Literally like two days ago was sobbing �when I told her I wanted to end all contact for good.�

I don't think this is going to end up good to be honest with all of u. Both of her parents have had failed marriages. And her step dad is coaching her on every little thing. I mean being picky about well we have to have separate food etc.�

Why she would lock the door and threaten to call the police. I have no idea??

I have never really lost my cool, have never been violent or any of that.�

Like I'm the bad guy. I'm the crazy one for wanting to live in my house and sleep with my wife.�

All of this is just to funny. The step dad thinks he is helping but really is only further enabling her WW ways and probably will end up�ultimately destroying her life over it.�

She wants to make it look like you are a monster. She has to justify to herself that you are a monster to make OM look good.

Drama is how it keeps going for her.

True story. Thx for that

Well I got in touch with the lady she had a confrontation with at work. I ended up calling her directly at her work extension. Apparently my email went directly to their spam folder. I also sent an email to her supervisor, which is probably sitting in his spam folder as well. I didn't really feel all that good having to go through someone who she had a confrontation with, but I can't rely on her co workers b/c I am sure they know what is going on to some extent. And like I said before that place is like fort knox having access to their employee contact info is next to impossible.

The lady I spoke with was actually very nice and said she was so sorry that this was happening. I guess she actually isn't such a bad person anyway at least not how my wife made her out to be.

She said she would look into it and contact me with any further info about who I should talk with next.

Also noticed that my wife has contacted a lawyer, they haven't met yet, also keeps on trying to contact At&t to transfer service of her cell phone that I pay for.

Its weird how you have second thoughts about all this. Perhaps I am over playing the affair, or its not that serious, or as she calls it " a nice distraction "

WW's have such a way with words and actions.

Also a side note.

I have installed key loggers on both of our computers, she doesn't know this. Actually did it after I caught her the first time and never ever mentioned it to her.

Also read in another thread about the gps buddy tracker @ bestbuy, will be picking one of those up here in the next couple days.

I will worry about the var in a bit. Right now I know for a fact she is not using her cell phone to contact him and doesn't have another cell phone as of yet. Hence her tireless efforts to call At&t to switch over to a personal plan. All of their contact has been at work and through personal email, its how they message back and forth.

She is being careful, b/c she knows I am on to her. Deleting messages from her email account as soon as she reads them.

I am going to try to sneak in a forward email address into her account disguised as a imap iphone server account. I have tried it on my account and it leaves no traces unless you knew what you were looking for.

You have lost a day, write the exposure letters tonight and send them recorded mail, that way they should be there by Wednesday.