Did I just say something that seems sensible? Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I growing up? NOOOOOO That can't be.

J/K of course.

You've got email BTW.

Think I have managed to translate his waffle.......

I can't really understand the logic in this, it's quite a friendly email yet my name ( & in my eyes, more importantly others) have been dragged through the mud - quite publicly on a day that it shouldnt have.

You're being friendly and I want you to be the bad guy. Telling other people I am the bad guy is NOT FAIR WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I hate having to be a part of this whole scenario full stop, more so that I've had to resort to messaging on facebook or replying to emails (that frankly confuse me). Or having to deal with your sis who doesnt need it considering how ill she's been.

I cant blow smoke up your ar$e using the channels of communication you've left open

In hindsight I could have done things differently, but I've done nothing in a 'cruel' manner - despite however angry I may have been or felt, it's not my nature.

I'm feeling guiltier than ever[/b]

If you want ***edit***- I'll say I 'remember when' we got on, the fact we dont as well as we did through growing apart or whatever is OUR issue, no one elses.

[b]My affair with her is your fault. Yes it is yes it is yes it is.

When I (& even yourself) calm down we have things to discuss, like what happens to the house an bills etc, as I can't afford to pay bills for two places. I've had enough. It's too late for me to sort out July so that's fair enough. It will be the last month I pay anything asides from my half of the mortgage - I don't live at home now, so why should I be paying as if I am.

[b]Im SO nice. You take advantage of my good nature. Are you feeling guilty yet?[/b]

Apologies if seeming blunt but to want to 'check in' surprises me, as I've either done what you've said - so question why would you want to check in?
Or I'm not having the affair and you're in a hell of hole that cant be dug out of. Either way it simply doesn't make sense as to why you'd want to 'check in' - not to me anyway.
Youre being really nice and calm and that scares me to death. I also have no idea how to bluff my way through this.

I can't understand the Want to be sure ive got the **edit**concept right..... what exactly is the purpose of this, in fact dont answer it as I have no concern of the actual answer. Yeah while there have been many good times - simple fact is unfortunately they're past tense.
If I pretend I dont feel anything, maybe this awful guilt and confusion will just go away

I beleive you have aquired the MB gift of WS BullS000t translating, well done soon you will be a pro.

ITA
What children these waywards become as they steal OUR innocence and trust from us and try to jade use

Remember that this is the way all waywards speak. Like little kids justifying as they go along. This can change and he could come home and applogize while you kick him in the ar$e and chase him around the room awhile to get it out of your system

Or however you work it out really. Thumbsctews? The rack?

All is not lost but for now his brain is. You have Scotland helping now so let her cause she is both tender and tough in all the right places

Btw a 6 mo timeframe and then a reconsideration is an awesome and prudent idea

Gotta share this insight from my five-year-old niece:

She's walking around this afternoon repeating 'Plan B, Plan B' to herself (Such big ears, she was in the other part of the house)

I stop her and say 'Sweetheart, what are you talking about? what is Plan B?"

She says: "It is about saving somebody".

Me: "Saving somebody from what?"

Her: "A giant killer hedgehog!"

Make of that what you will.....

You've got to put that on the MB little kiddie storys thread

OK, just made me cry! Priceless, Indie.

Just have!

Well, that could be your MB nickname for your WH. Mine is Bampot, and it is Scottish for "idiot." How about "Hedgie?" And give that niece a hug. She's priceless.

Just called mr hedgie to ask about coffee and he hung up on me!


The cheeky wayward.

Try texting him maybe i bet he is just in shock.

just done it.

Had a 'why would i' response, guess thats a no!

Can do something else with this beautiful afternoon instead then.

Have started daydreaming about my new husband. Hes lovely,

From Corinthians,

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Mr. Hedgie: why would i
Indie: To spend some time with your fabulous wife!

BE HAPPY and FLIRTY -- it will confuse the chit out of him!

great tip, thanks.

is it advisible to say that you want to talk money, house bills etc and then when you get there you dont talk about that? im not sure deceiving him into meeting you is the answer but its just a possible suggestion.

I'm wondering why you have chosen to fight for him. You have no kids with him and he has stated that he does not want to have kids with you. There is nothing keeping you tied to him. Perhaps moving on would be better in your situation?

I was in the same situation with my H shortly after marriage. He cheated, we had no kids, but I chose to stay with him because I loved him. Now, 10 years later, he has cheated again. Only this time I have far more time, and children, invested and I wish I had left him the first time. I would have saved myself, and my children, a world of pain.

In my opinion, BSs without kids should leave. Again, that's just my opinion, but based on your comment above, it appears you might feel the same.

I accually have the same opinion, because if were not for my children, I would not hae reconciled with my W after I left her for, well. all the stupid crap she was pulling but mostly drinking.
Come to find out, after ten years of partial recovery, lots of time invested, she relapsed into drinking and just broke our hearts even more, including the children, who are still getting over it.(Note she died two years ago because of complications to her addiction issues)

I was gone as far as I was concerned way back then, had TOTALLY NEW GF in six months, but in the end, in a moment of weakness, I came back, and it was the thought of the children without thier father and changing her wacky way of dealing with the world that I needed to protect them from that was the real concrete reason.

Do some research on human relationships, there naturally minded shelf-life, and compare it to what can be expected with someone who will commit to his vows before God. I'm sure you can do better once you know better.

You CAN move on past this, but for the sake of the VOWS you took before God, I suggest making absolutly sure that you know what your doing.

"I see the brokenness - the complete and utter brokenness - of those who have sinned against me. And in the moment of my realization of their brokenness, I fully understand that I actually am somehow stronger, somehow in the position to have mercy, for they are pathetic in their sin." --- Quote from Schoolbus about forgiveness
__________________________________________

I like this, its too bad we have to be alone and feel stronger, when we could be together and stronger still. Sins against Gods desire for us to love each other as we are loved by him are a hard one for me to say we should take lightly, because He doesn't.

In the Vows of marriage, we are vowing before God and man, and to him, simultaneously. This carries deep emotional weight on right and wrong, and the value we place on each other, and on ourselves, in our conscience. Even subliminally.

Like it says here and DR H teaches, its not about "Marriage at any cost", I beleive that lines up with what God wants for us also.