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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 53
J
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J
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 53
I have posted before and in brief the situation is my WW had an A for about a year and a half with a married EX family friend. It was exposed to OMW and I spoke with her a couple of times right after exposure. We have two kids that are 13 and 9.

WW agreed to NC and I have done some investigating and I am pretty confident that NC is the case...plus, POSOM blamed WW for ruining his life by exposing to OMW and now his kids will never look at him the same...

Here is my question...I read a post on here somewhere in the last couple of days that referred to WW's that are not willing to recommit to the marriage because they just don't think they will be happy with BS.

At this time, WW is not willing to commit as she says that if she could have those kinds of feelings for POSOM, then maybe she should not be married to me? And she does not want to hear about MB or any stories or anything like this...at least not at this point.

WW claims that she still loves me, and wants to see if she can find the feelings she once had. I know I ignored her EN's for a couple of years before her A began.

It has been just less than 2 months since A was exposed. Is this normal talk from her at this point?

Would really like to hear from BH that have been through this.


Me: (43) FWH/BH
Her: (44) FBW/WW
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs
DD's 13 and 9
D Day: 4/28/11
NC: 6/2/11
PA 1-1/2 yrs...WW exposed to OMW on 4/28/11
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 508
H
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Posts: 508
Yep pretty normal for a WS. Blow it off and make sure her EN's are being met. Let her get out of the fog.


Divorced 11/5/2013
FXWW EA 2005/2008/2010
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,736
E
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E
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,736
Pretty normal. Turn the tables, make it clear you are willing to meet her needs, but she has to demonstrate to you (not the other way around like she's trying) that she's committed to the marriage, to providing protections that she will not repeat the behavior, and that she'll participate in the MB program.

The decision is as much yours as it is hers. Don't settle for a WW who is not willing to earn her F (Former Wayward Wife.)

You have work to do, but you are not the only one. I'd make it clear that you are so close to being done with her and her fence sitting is not acceptable. If she wants to be your wife, she has to demonstrate that she's motivated and committed to a plan to restore romantic love and protect you against abusing you in this fashion again.

Joined: Apr 2001
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M
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M
Joined: Apr 2001
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When was her last contact with the OM?

What is her plan if she is not going to commit to the marriage? Is she moving out now? What is the plan?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Oh wait, I see I answered this same question on your last thread. never mind!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101



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