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You asked the question. I answered the question. You did not like my answer. So you screech that I "attacked" you.  Goodbye and good luck, rtt.
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You asked the question. I answered the question. You did not like my answer. So you screech that I "attacked" you. Goodbye and good luck, rtt. Your replies were nasty and accusing. Your replies did not offer usefull suggestions. You said you read the whole thread, but that is hard to believe. AA meetings were suggested, I've been to 2. You accused I would blame my H, I've stated more than once he is not to blame. Really, just how were you trying to help with your comments on this thread? Is there a 'drunk' you have a grudge against? You came out insulting with no detectable intent to support a possitive change. Why are you here? What help did you come here to seek? If someone came at you with the tone you did me, would you feel they were concerned of your well-being?
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Rtt, I am confused.  Where has neverguessed insulted or attacked you? Are you not a drunk? I thought you had admitted on this thread that you have a drinking problem? If this is correct, then isn't he just stating a fact? Why would you lash out at him for stating the truth?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Rtt, I am confused. Where has neverguessed insulted or attacked you? Are you not a drunk? I thought you had admitted on this thread that you have a drinking problem? If this is correct, then isn't he just stating a fact? Why would you lash out at him for stating the truth? No ml, I am not 'a drunk'. I'm a human being with many fine qualities. One being, I take responsibility for my behavior and seek self improvement. I didn't lash out at him, I asked that he stop lashing at me. He stated I was making excuses, which I haven't. He stated that I would blame my H, which I've noted more than once my H is not to blame. To refer to someone as a drunk is derogatory and offers nothing useful. There have been 2 posters that offered compasion and useful suggestestions. Obviously, I am open to that. The problem didn't happen in 1 day and resolution will take more than 1 day. I'm doing the work and taking full responsibility.
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No ml, I am not 'a drunk'. I'm a human being with many fine qualities. One being, I take responsibility for my behavior and seek self improvement. Ok, then why did you go to AA? You do realize that is a program for drunks? I didn't lash out at him, I asked that he stop lashing at me. He stated I was making excuses, which I haven't. He stated that I would blame my H, which I've noted more than once my H is not to blame. To refer to someone as a drunk is derogatory and offers nothing useful. You are getting angry at him for stating the truth. The truth is always useful. Calling you a drunk is not derogatory if its true. Being a drunk is derogatory. Is it true? If its true, then your issue is not with him, but with the truth. The biggest issue I see here is that you have not come to terms with the truth. That is not his fault.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No ml, I am not 'a drunk'. I'm a human being with many fine qualities. One being, I take responsibility for my behavior and seek self improvement. Ok, then why did you go to AA? You do realize that is a program for drunks? I didn't lash out at him, I asked that he stop lashing at me. He stated I was making excuses, which I haven't. He stated that I would blame my H, which I've noted more than once my H is not to blame. To refer to someone as a drunk is derogatory and offers nothing useful. You are getting angry at him for stating the truth. The truth is always useful. Calling you a drunk is not derogatory if its true. Being a drunk is derogatory. Is it true? If its true, then your issue is not with him, but with the truth. The biggest issue I see here is that you have not come to terms with the truth. That is not his fault. You are selecting what you want to make a case. He stated 2 things that are untrue. That I wasn't taking responsibility, which I am, and that I would blame my H, which I don't. What are you trying to acheive with your posts to me?
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You are selecting what you want to make a case. He stated 2 things that are untrue. That I wasn't taking responsibility, which I am, and that I would blame my H, which I don't.
What are you trying to acheive with your posts to me? You didn't answer my question, rtt. Why are you lashing out at him for stating a true fact? If it is not true you are a drunk, why are you going to AA meetings? You do realize that AA is for drunks, right? And that if you are one of them, the first step is honesty. Do you realize that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You are selecting what you want to make a case. He stated 2 things that are untrue. That I wasn't taking responsibility, which I am, and that I would blame my H, which I don't.
What are you trying to acheive with your posts to me? You didn't answer my question, rtt. Why are you lashing out at him for stating a true fact? If it is not true you are a drunk, why are you going to AA meetings? You do realize that AA is for drunks, right? And that if you are one of them, the first step is honesty. Do you realize that? You haven't answered my question. What are you trying to acheive with your posts to me? I have been honest. I'll ask you same as I asked to other poster, please stop referring to me as a drunk. I'll not look through your threads to find a weakness and pin a label on you and refer to you as that repeatedly. I ask for the same courtesy from you. I came here for support, and I received that from 2 posters. It was helpful and constructive. If you have no advise, please stop posting to me.
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You haven't answered my question. What are you trying to acheive with your posts to me? I have been honest. I am trying to help you see that your issue with Neverguessed is not with HIM, but with the truth. He stated a true fact about you and instead of addressing his points civilly, you lashed out at him. I don't know if its true that you blame your H, as he said, but it is true that you are a drunk, no? So, why lash out at him for stating a true fact? See, honesty is the first step in recovery. Did you notice that NoSTressZone stated she was a drunk? People who are honest about their drinking problem have no issue with this because they have come to terms with the truth. If someone calls me a drunk, I don't lash out at them, I would simply say that is true. I have been sober for 26 years in AA, but why would I deny the truth? The first step is honesty, rtt. Honesty.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hi rtt,
ML is a long serving and respected poster here on MB; albeit not very subtle; and harbours much useful information.
She is just trying to get you to help yourself, if you have a problem the steps are:
- recognise you have a problem
- accept you have the problem
- acknowledge you have the problem
without these steps moving forward is very difficult. You have skirted around the issue and never been honest and just said if you have a problem or not.
ML might be abrupt but she is worth keeping on board. She has seen a lot of BS (not betrayed spouse lol) on here and so you can understand she wants to make sure you are worth investing in, and your deflection isnt helping.
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You haven't answered my question. What are you trying to acheive with your posts to me? I have been honest. I am trying to help you see that your issue with Neverguessed is not with HIM, but with the truth. He stated a true fact about you and instead of addressing his points civilly, you lashed out at him. I don't know if its true that you blame your H, as he said, but it is true that you are a drunk, no? So, why lash out at him for stating a true fact? See, honesty is the first step in recovery. Did you notice that NoSTressZone stated she was a drunk? People who are honest about their drinking problem have no issue with this because they have come to terms with the truth. If someone calls me a drunk, I don't lash out at them, I would simply say that is true. I have been sober for 26 years in AA, but why would I deny the truth? The first step is honesty, rtt. Honesty. I've asked you politely, yet you persist with nothing of value. I've already addressed my problems with ng's posts. I'm not going to give myself carpel tunnel to repeat what you seem to just not want to absorb. Please do not post to me again. You are not helping in anyway.
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I've asked you politely, yet you persist with nothing of value.
I've already addressed my problems with ng's posts. I'm not going to give myself carpel tunnel to repeat what you seem to just not want to absorb.
Please do not post to me again. You are not helping in anyway. There is no value in honesty? Perhaps you are not the best judge of what is helpful and what isn't? If asking you to get honest is not "helpful" then I question your approach.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[quote=rtt]
I've asked you politely, yet you persist with nothing of value.
I've already addressed my problems with ng's posts. I'm not going to give myself carpel tunnel to repeat what you seem to just not want to absorb.
Please do not post to me again. You are not helping in anyway. [/quote
There is no value in honesty? Perhaps you are not the best judge of what is helpful and what isn't? If asking you to get honest is not "helpful" then I question your approach. Again, please stop posting to me. I am the best judge of what has been useful in my goals.
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rtt, let me try another approach. You admit you have a drinking problem. You have gone to some AA meetings. What would you call it? If not a drunk, then what? An alcoholic? A boozehound? What exactly?
I agree that drunk is a derogatory term, but that is because it defines derogatory behavior. It is the behavior that is derogatory, not the WORD. Words have meanings and it sounds to me like your behavior would be accurately defined in the way NG defined it.
That is why I trying to get you to see that it is not NG that is the problem here. He simply stated a true fact. And you lashed out at him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Again, please stop posting to me. I am the best judge of what has been useful in my goals. If you are the best judge, then why are you getting angry when someone accurately defines you? That does not convey good judgment at all, rtt. If you are honest about your problem, this would not be an issue.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Again, please stop posting to me. I am the best judge of what has been useful in my goals. If you are the best judge, then why are you getting angry when someone accurately defines you? That does not convey good judgment at all, rtt. If you are honest about your problem, this would not be an issue. What part of you are not helpful to me do you not get? There are others here that want to hear from you. How many times to I have to ask you not to keep posting to me? I imagine there must be some kind of block system on here. Guess I need to look into it.
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Still waiting for an answer to my questions...
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Still waiting for an answer to my questions... I don't owe you any answers. I'm not asking you to help me in any way. I've asked repeatedly that you stop posting to me.
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ok, and I have repeatedly asked you what is wrong with defining a drunk as a drunk? Instead of answering that very simple question, you are throwing a fit.
Why do you think that is, rtt?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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ok, and I have repeatedly asked you what is wrong with defining a drunk as a drunk? Instead of answering that very simple question, you are throwing a fit.
Why do you think that is, rtt? I am not throwing a fit. I have asked a number of times for you to stop posting to me. It seems childish to me that you won't just stop. I'll not answer any questions for you, so there is no point for you to continue posting to me, especially when I've asked many times for you to stop doing so.
Last edited by rtt; 06/22/11 08:56 AM.
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