I won't mention the posters, but I will say that there are certain posters who have come here in total desperation, with their spouse GONE to the OP. The betrayed has used MB to assault the affair, and the wayward comes back home to rebuild their marriage. Hurray for them!!! If my experience in recovering from infidelity can help anyone, I am so there. I think it has. I hope so.

But I still get so frustrated with posters who refuse to acknowledge the clear and present danger to their marriage.

Oh, you're a vet, Scotty. Absolutely. You have defined the proper way to Plan B. If I had a hat I would tip it to you.

Concise?

Well, I am rather impatient. I save my novels for...well, my novels.

Thank you.

And is it even possible for this thread to be t/j'ed?

Let's go ride bikes!

Are you a writer too? Karma?

Yes, I did Nanowrimo last year. Still trying to edit it down while trying to write a sequel...it's hard work and definitely a rollercoaster to try and keep at it.

The "why" is too vague. I surrender that task to people with a higher pay grade.

Here is what I have learned.
I do not put more effort into someone's situation than they do.

Take the time to discern how much MB concepts a poster has actually taken the time to learn. If THEY show sincere effort, so will I.

Saves on this ~~~.

Yeah that's the lesson I needed to learn a long time ago Pep

Seems I suffered the cosequences of taking that position also
It's easy to be somebodys friend when it's all nice and rosy in the hot tub together
It's a different thing to contradict them in conflict

All communication is for our benefit"
(I think that's a scripture)

I think of a foreman on the job who barks out orders at the workers

The ones who get offended cuz he hurt Thier feelings don't last long and are not very effective either. If they take the time when they don't have it to stop and take things into consideration like...how the local team lost last night or....it's been hot this week or...well you name it. The issue that needs addressing gets lost in the sauce and they all could lose Thier jobs

It's the same here. The vets say direct instructions and the novices take them apart and water down Thier effect because well, Thier different don't cha know

If the shoe fits wear it

You helped me and I think me and my kids owe you something for getting me off my hindquarters.

Seriously.

Aw, North. I appreciate hearing that. Truly.

Just thought I'd pass that on.

[Harumph! Harumph Cough Cough!] Now that all the sentimental stuff is out of the way, let the rants continue!

It is very hard to deal with people who cannot understand the chemical changes in a wayward mind, and how this effects the affair. I wish society as a whole would really put two and two together, that way when it happens more people would be able to treat the affair like an addiction and proceed with dealing with it like a drunk driver.

I am so frustrated with people acting as if the BS is crazy or a pain in the butt because they are exposing to save their marriage. People treat the BS like crap because they don't role over and play dead on Dday. Come on BS get over it; you lost and POSOP won. Your marriage is over and it is all your fault. Society treats love as a feeling, and that feeling shouldn't be challenged because after all it is love. Bull crap--love is committing oneself to another through thick and thin, the good, the bad, the ugly, in sickness, in health until death do us part!!!

It just goes to show how many people today really do not value family and. commitment. They act like a family is disposable underware and can be thrown out, changed, or crapped on with no consequences. I pray for the wisdom to raise my babies to know the difference.

It's the whole "drive thru" instant gratification society we live in today. Live for the moment! All that crap.

We're forced fed that divorces just "happen" like it's natural or something. IT IS NOT. It is A SIN. IT IS EVIL.

IITL, you're right about the chemical makeup of a wayward mind. Here's the thing. It only lasts that way less than 2 years before a change occurs. That's why imho Dr. Harley says emas last an average 2 years.

Did for my xwh. Literally to that point. But we were divorced and he'd instantly remarried the ow and had a baby with her. Suddenly he was like "whoa. what just happened to me?"

He tried to actually leave her then and attempted to ask me out on a date and said he "made a mistake". Um no. I made a mistake marrying a guy with such p*ss poor boundaries!

Literally they are like that. Like they've been rip van winkle the whole time after they finally come back to reality and SEE what had been going on during their mental absence.

Rant on:

OK, not really a rant, but just wondering. Do you think some people come to MB to debate? Do you think the people on MB who distract with arguments on other's posts and threads do this same sort of thing in their marriage? If so, do you think their spouse would find it extremely annoying? And if their spouse were to complain that it was an annoying habit, do you think the person would debate that complaint?

OK, the rant part. I don't even know these people and find it annoying.

AM

Uh
Duh
Uh
Yeah

This is not a rant, but an observation of something mildly inconvenient to me.

I'm apparently the only person in history who's ever used the "ubbthreads-dark" theme available from the control at the bottom of the forum.

I like it. A lot. It makes my screen darker. Easier on the eyes, easier to read. It also makes it easy when Prisca and I use each other's computers to see who we are logged in as.

But it obliterates more than half of the lovely emoticons here. I see text: "Nooo" and "flirt" and "twoxfour" and "dramaqueen".

Plus, some people who make good posts tend to write in dark blue text, which is nearly unreadable against the black.

I guess everybody else who has tried the dark theme has gone back to the regular because of these problems, but I'm stubborn, and I like the theme and have stuck with it over a year now despite all this.

I've used the dark screen before, Markos! I can't help you with the emoticons, but on the blue or other hard-to-read text colors deal, I found that highlighting the text worked wonders!

Mrs. W

That's what I do.

But it's hard on the eyes.

I've found being colorblind helps in some cases, but that's not an option for everyone

So when folks accuse me of being too black and white, it's not exactly true. However, it's closer to the mark than for most other folks.