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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 |
Mel
I am going with your plan. Thanks again.  E-X-P-O-S-E
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Red, I am going to link a couple of articles, but I want to add that after your marriage has been affair proofed and she has given you the entire truth, the most impactful step you can take is to get in 20+ hours of undivided attention time. This should start immediately. That ONE STEP will help her fall in love the fastest and most effectively. So, if she agrees to the plan, that should be one of your very first steps. The importance of this step cannot be overemphasized. This article gives a great summary of recovery steps: Requirements for Recovery This one speaks to the subject of forgiveness and how she can earn that: Can't We Just Forgive and Forget?
Another good one: Four Rules for Recovery and your fastest horse to falling in love again: The Policy of Undivided Attention
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
If you are going to do it yourself, I would get these books:
Surviving an Affair
Lovebusters
the workbook, Five Steps to Romantic Love
and follow the program outlined in those books. The workbook is really good because it has all the questionaires and worksheets in it along with an UA time worksheet. You will want to pull that out, make several copies and start using it to schedule your UA time every week.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 29
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 29 |
Mel,
Hello. Yes I have Surviving an Affair. Rcvd it on Tuesday and I have about 30 pages to go to finish it. Excellent read.
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