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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 233
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rtt, have you tried asking these questions at a AA meeting? I can guarantee you that anyone there who has admitted to being an alchoholic will agree, the first step is admitting it. You have not done so, and resist any effort of anyone trying to help you by not doing so. You have skirted around it, you have lashed out at those who are here trying to help you. Both of which are signs. It's called denial.
I've thought a lot about how you view the word 'drunk'. What are you when you get sloshed? A drinker? No, you are drunk. Pure and simple. What's the difference in being drunk and being a drunk? NOTHING. It's not anything more than a word. You stated in your first post you had problems with labels like 'holic'. WHY? Shame? Read my first post again about shame. Pride will get you no where when it comes to recovery.
Either you think you are, or you don't. Simple as that. If you don't, then I'm really not sure why you are here. You yourself said you had a problem with drinking. If you notice, those who are trying to get you to admit to yourself that you are indeed, an alcholic, are also recovering alcholics!!! INCLUDING MelodyLane! Do you really think we are doing this for any other reason than we have been IN YOUR SHOES and we KNOW what it takes???
Why bite off the hand that is feeding you the help YOU asked for? I don't get it. Pride? there is no room for pride here.
I do applaud you for not drinking.
So why are you really here?
I am 52, stbxh is 46 One child together 15 DD 2 (mine) from 1st marriage, 26 dd and 28 ds. Married Dec 94 Separated Oct 09 Too many D-Days to list. (EA/Cyber affairs) He filed no fault 3-2011 I countered with grounds. Court date set for June 6, 2011 for Final Decree and was continued. That ticked him off, he is now fighting for custody. Lawyers are expensive, my daughter is worth every penny. Even the ones I have to borrow.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 38
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You helped so much. I truly appreciate it.
I came here with what I did. I'm very proud of the progress I made since first posting. It seems that the questions I have for the issues I was concerned with mean I have to take offensive labels from others and accept termanology and a medical diagnosis without Dr trained back-up. That I won't do.
If that was a requirement for my concern, I guess I'm no longer a member here.
Take great care of you. You deserve the best.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 49
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http://www.ama-assn.org/resources/doc/alcohol/alcoholism_treatable.pdfThere you have it, from "the professionals". You may or may not still be reading, but the reality is that you are biting the hand that feeds. Offensive-to-you responses or not, you asked for help, and you're reacting to the help you're receiving. Your doctor will likely give you the same suggestions you received here: go to AA, plus he/she will treat any co-morbid medical issues related to the drinking itself. You will make little-to-no long-term progress for yourself as long as you look for answers which suit you instead of for the truth, both here at MB and in your recovery from what you deem non-alcoholic-yet-problematic-drinking. I'll vouch for that in both cases from experience. Not much will happen until you identify that you are just like the rest of us alkies and just like the rest of us with problem marriages. As long as you want to be different, judge the responses, and use pride to facilitate 'apartness', you'll be just that: apart from. I wish you well and hope that your clinicians are wonderful.
41, Married with kids.
Love is most definitely an action, not inaction.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
The adjetive 'a drunk' is degrogatory. When drinking is described as a disease, why would there be an ugly description like that attached to it. Bulemia is also called a disease. If I were here for support of that, would anyone try to force me to call myself 'puke face'? rtt, take it from an alcoholic who has been sober for 26 years, you are in denial, dear. This is a bunch of goobledy [censored] tap dancing and after all is said and done you are still a drunk. A recovering alcoholic does not have a problem with the truth and does not run from that word. You only do because you are in denial. The word is derogatory because the ACTION is deragatory. It is derogatory to BE a drunk. The world is not going to alter the English language to accommodate a drunk, rtt. Its that simple. And asking them to do so is inappropriate. Until you can admit you are a drunk, you are not going to get very far. Here is the definition of drunk - lets see if this applies to you - I know it sure applied to me! drunk    [druhngk] Show IPA �adjective 1. being in a temporary state in which one's physical and mental faculties are impaired by an excess of alcoholic drink; intoxicated: The wine made him drunk. 2. overcome or dominated by a strong feeling or emotion: drunk with power; drunk with joy. 3. pertaining to or caused by intoxication or intoxicated persons.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 233
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thank you fullthrottle, for the link. It does't get any more professional than the American Medical Association. It seems that the questions I have for the issues I was concerned with mean I have to take offensive labels from others and accept termanology and a medical diagnosis without Dr trained back-up. That I won't do. rtt, I tried, several folks tried. Until you can look in the mirror and admit you are a drunk, an alcholic, there is nothing we can do for you here. You are so far up the digestive tract in denial it's coming out your ears. It's in your hands now. I wish you the best. Please don't drink and drive. When it comes to  and arguing a word or two, I will use your words. I'm out of this thread. I'll be back when you can acknowledge what you are. To yourself.
I am 52, stbxh is 46 One child together 15 DD 2 (mine) from 1st marriage, 26 dd and 28 ds. Married Dec 94 Separated Oct 09 Too many D-Days to list. (EA/Cyber affairs) He filed no fault 3-2011 I countered with grounds. Court date set for June 6, 2011 for Final Decree and was continued. That ticked him off, he is now fighting for custody. Lawyers are expensive, my daughter is worth every penny. Even the ones I have to borrow.
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