:::howling with laughter:::

Stop it Pep! My sides hurt!! No more, no more!

Okay, maybe some more...

Any parent will appreciate this one. [video:youtube][/video]

PS:
Turn up the sound.

Oh, YAY! Santa came! That made me cry.

And THAT one cracked me up!!
Turn up the volume, indeed...

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today ... Dr. Oz said that finishing the things you start is the only way to reach inner peace, so I looked around the house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished. I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I fel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.

I could always use a little "inner piss..."

That's what makes us alike.

Merry Christmas, baby bro.

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"



Merry Christmas, Pep... and everyone else, too!


And inner piss to you all in the new year.

Can you spot the error in this photo?
Keep staring .... it's not easy to find.

YIKES! My skin just crawled off me!

I said something akin to "F##@ that scared the S$%@ outta me." And then I started to laff my butt off. Well played Pep, well played.

I knew there was a trick, but I didn't see THAT coming. HAHAHAHA

Can't be in Texas...HE has the shotgun!

Major BW meltdown

Need I point out her home State?

You haven't seen the correction in that article:

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story said that the Griffins' therapy session occurred in Texas. It actually took place in Kansas. We regret the error.

God bless Texas!

Good to know! The story did say she drove 250 miles to hunt down the AP, and checking my geography, starting ANYPLACE in Texas and driving MERELY 250 miles leaves you still in Texas!

Did I ever tell you about the time, during a free day at a conference, two colleagues and I drove from Houston to San Antonio and back, (almost exactly 400 miles r/t, just because we wanted to visit the Alamo?

Famous Opinions;

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances". --Dr. Lee DeForest, Father of Radio and Grandfather of Television

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives". --Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom". --Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons". --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers". --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 [Oddly enough it was IBM that also saw little use for what became the Xerox copy machine many decades later and refused to fund its development]

"I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year". --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip

"640K ought to be enough for anybody". --Bill Gates, 1981

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us". --Western Union internal memo, 1876

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" --David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C' the idea must be feasible". --A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. [Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp]

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper". -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in Gone With The Wind

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make". --Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs Fields' Cookies

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out". --Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible". --Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this". --Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3M Post-It Notepads

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy". --Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau". --Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value". --Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, France

"Everything that can be invented has been invented". --Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899

"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required". -- Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University

"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself". --The head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction". --Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon". --Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria, 1873

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home". --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977

Hormone guide for men who live with women during "that time of the month".




Stay safe guys!

Too funny... At first i read it as "have some whine!"

Also reminded me of a few nightgowns my wife used to wear when she wasn't feeling well. I used to call them birth control nightgowns...

CV