This is something I will have to be REALLY vague about.

I suggested to Al that he start keeping a childcare journal of what is going on relating to his sister whom we'll call Harley. Suffice it to say that she does little to take care of her own child. Her boyfriend (the baby's father) whom we'll call Beavis, is a pothead and living with them...and let's just say that admissions about drug use have been made.

So he has some questions. How exactly to record things, what things to record exactly...he and I are both extremely concerned about Little Bit, and about Al's mother who is elderly and doing the bulk of the childcare as Al is at work most of the time.

Thanks in advance.

Also, how does one ask the mods to delete their thread? I plan to do so once I've gotten some answers to give Al. He's quite paranoid about this thread being found.

Well copious notes, handwritten and dated are admissible in court later on and very influential.

It likely is illegal to record them without their knowledge in your state (check to see if it's not a two party wiretapping state). Regardless...I think if you can capture an admission IN YOUR HOME on some "nanny cam" type device (or maybe a recording laptop) that you claim to use to watch your own children or just happened to be recording and just happened to pick up the conversation between your husband and his sister and boyfriend such tape MAY be used by the CPS. Remember too, that just because a recording is made illegally, doesn't mean it won't ever be used against sis/boyfriend. You don't represent the state...it may not be admissible if YOU were suing them but the state likely won't have a problem using it regardless of how it came about as long as the state didn't do it. Further, any known recording will make lying impossible by the sis/boyfriend thereafter. A non-admissible recording may become admissible to impeach a witness that lies on the witness stand.


Better speak to your attorney in your state about this. I'm just a tax attorney and have no legal knowledge of how these things will actually work in a courtroom and under the evidentiary rules & procedures in your state.

Mr. W

I am in Virginia, and I'm going to be looking up the laws here. Thanks for the advice.

I have also recently learned that Harley and Beavis have a friend with a...shall we say "record"...

Of the sort that makes it illegal for him to come into the house where Al lives.

Should he be recording every time he notices that the friend is over, or just the once?

Hi,

I know you are in the US but here in the UK if there is someone visiting a house who has a record that means they cannot be in contact with either a specific person or children then if that person is visiting a house where there are children then that would be a matter for social services Child Protection.

you don't say how old the child is.

I have been a Child Protection Social Worker for 20 years and now train others in what to do when they are concerned for the safety of a child.

Once you inform them they will make contact with Probation and take it from there.

Whatever the state of a marriage, the real issue is the safety of the children.

Hope that helps, can't imagine it's much different in the US.

The child is 1 year old.

so the child is not in a position to tell what is happening.

I would contact CPS/Social Services and pass on the information that you have and leave the investigation to the professionals.

I would also repeat that the welfare of the child is paramount.

Therefore whatever is happening in marriage/family etc comes second.

This child needs safeguarding.

That is what I am posting here for. It is not their relationship I am trying to save.

Good I hope you are able to make that call tomorrow morning then.

However regarding the drug issue, if I were to be undertaking an investigation with the very limited info you have given me I would be looking specifically at the child and the impact on the child. The fact that a parent uses drugs is not my concern, my concern is if and or how that drug use is impacting on the child.

It's certainly not a moral issue here in the UK, it might be a legal one but only if there was dealing going on in the house.

Issues with other visitors to the house, generally I would be wanting to make sure that the carers or parents knew all about any relavant criminal history and be satisfied that the parents or carers were ensuring the child's safety.

You mentioned that you didn't feel the child was well cared for, again thats something that would be explored in the course of an assessment of the child's developmental needs and wellbeing.

If I can be of more help ask the mods for my email.