Today I had an e-mail from OM saying "How are you? What are you feeling? Are you going to ever talk to me again? I hate this."<P>Well, it is not easy. And then the look on his face the last few days. It just kills me. We always had this saying, when everyone else was so glad it was Friday we always said to each other "we hate weekends". We looked forward to and loved Monday because that would mean we got to see each other. It is really tough. I hate to suffer and I hate to see him in pain.<P>My husband is trying so hard. I just wish the feeling was there for me like it should be. Maybe I am just impatient.<P>Well, it is a sad day and I just had to tell someone.<P><BR>

Hang in there Susan. You're doing a good thing here.<P>There's a lot of people pulling for you.<P>Lori

Thanks, I know it. <P>Funny thing is, I feel pulled from both sides in both directions. (not on the MB board of course, just in my life.)

Susan,<P>Look at it this way. Now you can look forward to the weekends. I have mentioned to several people on this forum, (maybe it was you), that it seems to me that in order to have an affair you must wipe the love of your spouse out of your mind. Otherwise you could not handle the guilt. You are still in withdrawl (consider your concern for the OM's feelings). The love cannot come back until you are much further along.<P>Have patience it will come back if you give it a good shot.<P>Good Luck and God Bless<P>P.S. One of the things that Harley recommends to end the affair is to sit down with your H and write OM a letter telling him it is over. That you are working to rebuild with your H. Advice and examples I believe are on this site. If not someone like Chris, K, SHA can give you details about how to word this letter. The idea is that you and H agree on the wording and it is mailed to OM. Think about this, it will make it clear to OM that you do not want any more contact.<p>[This message has been edited by Just Learning (edited October 29, 1999).]

Oh God, Susan, been there! I used to hate the weekends too.<P>You should talk more to Hummingbird! Your situation is so close to hers. Her OM also had that depressed look all the time and sent her those kinds of emails and voice mails. He's as addicted to you as you are to him, only he doesn't have a support group like this forum to help him out.<P>Hang in there. I know you want to tell him how you're doing, etc., but you must hold back. I know you know this, and I also know how hard it is. One Day At A Time! <P>--andy

Hi Susan,<P>I got your email, I'm going to reply there O.K. <P>Stay tough OK. God, I know, we used to say the same EXACT words to eachother about the weekends. Just Learning is right, try to make your weekends fun with your husband.<P>I know it's hard .

Gosh, I am sad. I just can't seem to pull myself out of it!

You did great coming here instead of responding. This guy is making me angry!!! Why won't he leave you the H#LL alone! What a selfish jerk! <P>Sorry, I know you don't feel that way about him, but I don't know him, so I can. <P>Hang in there, Susan!

I guess he is just like me, in withdrawal and it is painful. I am lucky though, I have support of everyone here. It is still not easy. Wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have trouble thinking of what would be FUN to do with husband. That is awful I know.

So......what do you guys do with your spouses that is fun and enjoyable to both when you have no common interest anymore?<P>

I guess you are all off enjoying yourselves.

Honey, I wish!!!<P>I just can't think of anything we do... sorry... no, actually, one thing we LOVE TO DO is haunt antique stores and buy stupid little stuff like salt and pepper shakers... how's that???<P>Love ya, <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Hi Susan,<P>Hugs! <P>Withdrawal is part of addiction.<P>You might consider...<P>Checking out:<BR>"Breaking free of the co-dependency trap" and "Counter-dependency: Flight from intimacy" by Barry and Janae Weinhold at <A HREF="http://www.weinholds.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.weinholds.org/</A> <P>Hugz,<BR>Thoughtful (Deb)<BR>

Dear Susan:<BR>You just have to hang in there and be patient. All things take time. Your feelings aren't the same for your husband is because you still have the feelings for the om. This will all take time. What makes things harder for you is the fact that you see him at work. Out of sight, out of mind is what would eventually happen in the long run. But, with him and you working together, I just don't know how you are going to be able to move on and work on the relationship with your husband if the om is still there...writing,..feeling...,talking....thinking...about you.