I usually post in the SAA, but I thought what I need to talk about now, is best over here.

I filed for divorce about two weeks after my husband left me. I was so confused and scared by his behavior that my lawyer suggested I do this to get exclusive domain of my home. I'm in PA and we have 2 years to get it finalized.

Before my WH came around he and his OW were having problems. He told me he was ready to get this divorce over with. I just ignored him because it wasn't something I was ready for. They broke up a few days later and he began talking to me. He said he did a terrible thing and had his lawyer draw up a paper with all the stuff he wanted that was over the top. He then told his lawyer to not send it. My lawyer was also telling me that I needed to send the same sort of paper. I told her I wasn't ready for that, but she told me that I have an obligation to move the divorce along. Is this true? I told her that I felt like she was bullying me. That my WH was okay with me taking as long as I needed so I didn't get it. She left me alone after that. My question is, after exposure, he's pretty angry. What if he starts pressuring me to move the divorce along. With the help of my children, I've decided that I want to end plan B in about 6 months. A year to the day he left us. Can I tell my lawyer to ignore any of his lawyer's stuff until then?

Then there's the question about my home. Since making him angry, my WH has informed me that he slept with the OW in my bed. I knew she was here as she left her Mountain Dew bottle on my dresser to make sure I knew she was there. I pretty good suspicion they did, but now I know for sure. I've taken my bed to to the garage and have been sleeping on the sofa. Now I just want to get out of this house. It is suffocating me.

I want to sell it, but to be honest, houses where I'm at have sat for years without a buyer. I cannot stay here that long. If I leave, I worry about him moving in here with her because this is the home we built together, literally. Just more salt on a wound. If he doesn't want to live here, then the only thing is to let it go into foreclosure. I certainly don't want to do that. I just don't know what to do.

DMH, you know that you could have also asked these questions on SAA, just saying.

I wouldn't be able to live in a house where OW and my WH committed adultery. It would be a constant reminder and trigger. You would need to sell the house if you were ever going to try to recover, so why not get the ball rolling right now?

On the D front, let your lawyer know that you don't WANT a D, and you would like her to drag it out as long as possible. Tell her that you filed for a D to protect yourself and your kiddos.

OW's are crazy BEEPS(as my kiddos would say). ARGH.

Oh, I didn't realize I could talk about this over there...it would make things a lot less confusing.

I have started to de-clutter. I'm afraid to get rid of stuff because even though he said I could, what if he turns around and says I sold stuff and makes problems for me. Everything is just so complicated.