|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 691
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 691 |
Hoping your story has one of those miracle endings...
Married 1/2000. D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013. Single mom of 4.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Hoping your story has one of those miracle endings... Either way, it will. I really believe that now. I didn't think I could ever feel that way. I really didn't. And the secret to my success is MB, Plan A and now Plan B. It is really the best. I am able to move ahead KNOWING that I did everything possible. I also saved myself from YEARS of pain with constant communication with a WS. I really do have DrH, MB and all of the posters here to thank. THANK YOU ALL.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
You know you are recovering when you don't need to update your thread for a couple of weeks!
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
You know you are recovering when you don't need to update your thread for a couple of weeks! Yes. What a ride you have taken. Joy is yours again. It's been a pleasure.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
I only updated because I felt the need to write something on my own thread. I hope that this thread can help some BS's(and the occasional WS) in the future. Again, the question came up about why I am "waiting" for Bampot. I have to keep telling people that I am NOT waiting for Bampot, I am healing myself. I am not ready to be divorced yet, so I haven't filed. I don't have the desire to date, so I haven't filed for a D yet again. There are still normal happenings of life, but it is easier to deal with. Life really IS so much better out of the drama. I actually removed a lot of "toxic" people from my FB, and my everyday life. It is much more important to me to be well, and happy than to worry about hurting others feelings. I am thinking about what is best for me and my children FIRST. And there are even times, when I look at a relationship, and wonder if the cons are worth the pros. On another note, The house started getting painted today. My dad came over on one of the hottest days in July, to a south facing house, got up on my porch roof, and painted. He will be here again tomorrow, and in a few weeks, I may be able to update my pic to show you all my new colour scheme. White siding still, with a medium brown for trim and red for the door. I am gonna LOVE it.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Hurray for dad! Most people just don't get it, Scotty. They think it is healthier for you to "move on" and you know it is healthier to heal first.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
How can someone "move on" when half of you is left somewhere on the floor? Gotta pick up the pieces, throw away what you don't need, make new what you can and put together a better puzzle. That's what I am doing.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Hurray for dad! Most people just don't get it, Scotty. They think it is healthier for you to "move on" and you know it is healthier to heal first. How can someone "move on" when half of you is left somewhere on the floor? Gotta pick up the pieces, throw away what you don't need, make new what you can and put together a better puzzle. That's what I am doing. EGG ZAK LEE
Last edited by Pepperband; 07/19/11 07:24 PM. Reason: tee hee
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
Hoping your story has one of those miracle endings... Either way, it will. I really believe that now. I didn't think I could ever feel that way. I really didn't. And the secret to my success is MB, Plan A and now Plan B. It is really the best. I am able to move ahead KNOWING that I did everything possible. I also saved myself from YEARS of pain with constant communication with a WS. I really do have DrH, MB and all of the posters here to thank. THANK YOU ALL.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
And Indie, that is THE single most reason that I am such an advocate for MB and Plan B. I KNOW what can happen. I wish the same for everyone here. I shudder to think what a non-MB life would have looked like.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
A lot like your mom and dad.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
A lot like your mom and dad. OMG Neak's right !
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
A lot like your mom and dad. Thankfully they raised a daughter smarter than them!
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
And believe me guys, I KNOW it. I actually had a dream about them last night. I woke up and wanted to call them, and tell them what I really think. I didn't though. It's really hard for me to watch them struggle when I KNOW how much better it could be, if they would only do something different. It's their life, and their choices. I can only show them the path they COULD take, taking is totally up to them. Who knows, my mom is getting internet, maybe she will come on then
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 614
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 614 |
I am so glad to hear you are doing well Scotty!
Me:BW Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10 3DstepChildren24&20 PlanA:01/03/10 PlanB:03/25/10 D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870 |
How can someone "move on" when half of you is left somewhere on the floor? Gotta pick up the pieces, throw away what you don't need, make new what you can and put together a better puzzle. That's what I am doing. AH, Grasshoppa, you have found the way of wisdom, to seperate the preciuos from the vile. I will never stop loving my late wife, but I will and allways will hate the crap she lived in that took her. "Hate the sin and not the sinner". God I need that all the time, because I hate the devastation that I see in peoples lives. But also you don't just stop loving people, not if you are strong in the love dept., thats just not how it works now is it? But it is good to move as we are ready to, and not one second faster, and certainly from people who don't understand how deep our love went, and want us to fill thier level and quota of what they feel love is. Why don't they get it? It was personal and different from thiers? Gee whiz, it might have even been more important to us then thiers is now to them. Every love is different from everybody elses, even though the same rules of engagement, levels of commitment, do apply, the individuals involved and the relationship created is completly different from anyone elses, ever born. Its that that is lost when we don't remember and obey, honor, cherish, and forsaking all others. We were supposed to grow and change together right? Fill each others ENs as that happened through life. So Scotty I know you are deep, and strong, and do not forget those things lightly, and are not afraid to suffer for those you love. God bless you Scotty Rocks, we are blessed to have you here, although I wish you never had to come in the first place.
Last edited by ConstantProcess; 07/20/11 11:34 PM.
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 738 |
How can someone "move on" when half of you is left somewhere on the floor? Gotta pick up the pieces, throw away what you don't need, make new what you can and put together a better puzzle. That's what I am doing. Great to hear this, Scotty! Your story (and you) really did help me through so much! One day at a time, eh? And I'm glad you've started to feel whole again... Funny how time truly does heal, eh?
Me: BW, 27 Him: WH, 29 DD 4 DS 1 Married 07/25/09 A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner) D-Day: 3/31/10 2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010 3rd D-Day: 4/21/10
Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10 WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10 False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10
Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012
Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
How can someone "move on" when half of you is left somewhere on the floor? Gotta pick up the pieces, throw away what you don't need, make new what you can and put together a better puzzle. That's what I am doing. Great to hear this, Scotty! Your story (and you) really did help me through so much! One day at a time, eh? And I'm glad you've started to feel whole again... Funny how time truly does heal, eh? Hahaha. Hey NP. Good to see you doing well as well. So, you wrote 3 sentences and said, "eh" twice. Careful the natives are gonna know their are canucks here. ML just may come around speaking about foreigners taking over.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Today, is not a good day. It is a bottom slope of the roller coaster, and what set me off? I dunno. I think it was reading someone else's thread that started out too much like my sitch, in the beginning. And then, DS8 called me, twice. DSx2 are spending the night at the lurv-shack, a they do every other SAturday. Today though, DS8 missed me something fierce. He called me at 913pm, and we talked for a few minutes. Then, at 938pm, the phone rang again, and it was DS8 again. I had to tell him that it will be less than 21 hours until he is home again, and that many of those hours he will be sleeping. I told him to hug on his brother tightly, and know that I love him. Then, I told him that I was going to bed soon to read, so he should just go to sleep, and the quicker he sleeps, the quicker it will be tomorrow and he will be on his way home. Breaks. my. heart.
My children shouldn't have to spend one night away from their home, unless they are on a sleepover at a friend's house. They shouldn't have to miss their mother, and I shouldn't have to miss them. But, don't worry, the children are just fine(/sarcasm). TURD.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
213
guests, and
51
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,615
Posts2,323,460
Members71,895
|
Most Online3,185 Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|