Can we compare and contrast these? Is there a good thread on this already? I saw on one thread that WW's respond better to the husband fighting for her.... what other differences might there be on wayward husbands and wayward wives in an affair and how/when/why it ends, etc?

Dr. Harley has stated that WH's do not respond well to being chased. He has said it pushes them away.

I think I read somewhere else that WH are more likely to return to the marriage if the affair ends. What else is thre to learn?

Well it is important to know that men like DOING the chasing. That is something I'm expanding on. It is in their nature as men.

If the affair ends, they will most likely continue being wayward too. My xwh had another ow already. He was in the end, seeing 2 of them. So when I thought I'd busted up the affair with monkeyho (ow1) I found out almost immediately about ow2. And within a few months ow 2 orchestrated her deliberate pregnancy.

My xwh at the time was considering things, and did from time to time attempt to my IM he wanted to come home. But he was just too plain wayward. Eventually the ow dumped him when I had her subpoenae'd in the divorce proceedings. I had exposed her all over kingdom come and she didn't much want to have to go to court to recite her situation. We still made her.

The end was me busting them up and sending back in a huuuuge box to her front door a present she'd bought for my ds' birthday. I sent it back with a scathing note. Sent it to accidentally (snicker) the wrong address (her grandmothers'). Her grandma certainly brought the box and the scathing note over to her. I love exposing skanks!

But there is no guarantee any person will do anything at all. It is their choice. If the affair ends, who knows what your wh will do. Right now the last thing you should be focusing on is what the wh will or will not do. Your focus is on you, the kids, and fighting for a good settlement. Have literal blinders on. You do not think of a future with him in it. You are moving forward without a wayward. Simply that. If in the future he changes and makes the NECESSARY ones to recover the M, then so be it. If not, you go about your life and keep to plan B.

I know one thing. Men do not like needy or clingy women. Or women who try too hard.