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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
Hello All,
I feel my personal recovery is going well until last night when my eight year old came home and told me my WH wants them to meet OW.
I fell apart and stayed up most of the night feeling like d-day all over again.
I was hoping for some tidbits and or personal stories on how one continues to grow with the affair seems to keep popping up in your world.
I wasn't prepared to hear those words from my DD. For so long my WH pretended he wasn't in an affair, and pretended they were just friends, and pretended he was leaving me because I was an awful wife.
The signs continuously point towards he separated from me so he could pursue his affair. I am in Plan B which is helping me tremendously, but my kids continuously are suffering. I feel like I am battling him on this front because OW keeps coming up with them.
I could use some inspiration and insight into recovering from this abuse in Plan B.
Tough~
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
The way I would "grow" in that situation is to hire an attorney and not allow my children to be dragged into his affair unless it was over my cold, dead, rotted, bloated body. And even then, it would have to be with a court order and an accompanying sheriff with a high powered semi automatic weapon.  My idea of "growth" is to protect your children at all costs from his filthy, sleazy affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
If you are in Plan B, I would have your IM send a message to your WS that the children will not be allowed to be around any of his adultery partners. And until he can agree to that, he won't be seeing them.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,880
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,880 |
Nothing will allow you to grow and become a happier person more quickly than a divorce. Stop allowing him to control how you feel. Right now, at this very second, you are wasting your life for someone who wasn't marriage material in the first place. He wants to be single? Let him be, and take him to the effing cleaners for as much child support and alimony as your attorney can squeeze out of him. Only communicate with him when absolutely necessary.
In two years you won't recognize yourself, and you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
Divorced
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