My H's OW is saying that I harassed her. She already made a complaint to HR and I'm just wondering if she has a leg to stand on if she takes me to court or something. I've read some of the laws about harassment in Minnesota and they seem very vague.

When I first came across the text from my H to her (d-day), I sent her several emails inquiring about what happened. When she denied everything, I sent one last email to her calling her a liar and some other not so nice stuff. I haven't been in contact with her since then.

I did go to her Mom's house and expose the A to her Mom. I also called her Mom about it once.

Finally, I exposed OW via Facebook by sending an email to her brother and 8 of her Facebook friends.

I just want to get some of your opinions...is the above possible harassment or no?

She harassed you by having an affair with your husband. Did she tell them about the affair?

Yep, and that I was harassing her.

According to my H's boss, HR reviewed our work emails. Since they didn't find any continuing contact, and my H no longer worked with her, the issue was dropped. I was just wondering if she could take me to court or something. She is very vindictive and evil IMO, so I wouldn't put it past her.

She can only get you for slander/libel if you actually lie. The truth is your best defense.

Good. I only told the truth, so I should be ok.

I even have what I would consider proof of the affair (a birthday card she gave my H professing her undying love for him ). So, if she tries to call me a liar, I can use that as proof that she is the liar.

Keep that card in a very safe place. Since she confessed to the boss, he may need to be subpoenaed.

Chances are, she's not going to want to face the kind of scrutiny the courts will give her.

Will do!!!

I also have my H's confession. I'm sure there is also proof of the affair in my H's old deleted text messages, which can be subpoenaed through the cell phone company. That should be enough. Right?

And..........

You have the added satisfaction of knowing you gored the old sow with your fact-attack. If you were a man, I'd suggest lighting a victory cigar!

Well done!

If WH is thoroughly untangled from her, let her stew in her own juices of doubt (about your next move), humiliation ("Mommy knows I'm a skank!"), and employment insecurity ("Ditto, HR!").

Don't sweat it.

OM/OW types never actually sue.

Sure they may send behind the scene letters to employers and family...maybe even the occasional signed or anonymous threatening email ...in hopes of manipulating renewed silence. But lawsuits involving open (to the public) courtrooms, depositions (where they are put under oath to tell the truth...the WHOLE truth and nothing but the TRUTH), and face to fact OPEN under the lights questions/testimony...NO!, not so much.

OW/OM types are allergic to truths....thus, they are allergic to the courthouse.

Mr. Wondering

They threaten and mumble but sue , why would they give free publicity to their affair. There is a case in the UK where the OM took the BS to court for his campaign of ongoing exposure, the BS even set up a web site to out the OM . The court threw the case out and the gossip papers got hold of the story. OM lost all the way , public exposure in a national daily , lost his job and did not get the wayward who is reconciling with her BS .

Never fear , don't let the HR team or the OW try intimidate you.

If she brought suit that would be so awesome to watch an OW get hoisted on her own petard after you produced the evidence of the affair!! And you would also be able to SUBPOENA all her email and cell phone records about the affair! And present it in open court.

I would LOVE to do that

It just makes me giddy with excitement thinking about it!! We have had so many skanks and scumbags threaten to do this over the 10 years I have been here but NONE have never come through!! Disappointment is my lot in life!

Oh I exposed to high h*ll the skankyho that had the ema with my xwh.

I sent exposure letters to relatives and one reached her 90 something yr old grandma.

I got EXPLOSIVE commentary from the skank. Could she sue? Oh heck no. I told her I'd be happy to sue her and that she should find something good to wear in court b/c she was already being subpoenae'd in my divorce.

She said it was 'slanderous' what I did to her...I told her "Monkeyho (what I called her), HOW IN YOUR PEANUT brain is it slander when I have miles of trails I can't wait to unload in court about you having a sleazy affair with my husband, cache's of your lovey vomit-worthy emails to him?" I even had her laptop and printed off her emails to him on it (she was a stupid ho, but the laptop accidentally came to me after she'd left it on a plane travelling with my wh who said he was on a business trip. Stupid ho left her laptop so they sent it to HIS address..ie MY address).

She never did sue.

But to this day EIGHT YEARS LATER she is not on FB with a photo. Has no information about her at all on the internet. Keeps everything under lock stock n barrel bc she is afraid her past will keep haunting her. Must b sad to b a ho.

I would absolutely love it if some OW stood up in court and said she was harrassed by a BW with what you have done. That would be hilarious.

You have offered truthful information to others who are related to her, and who have personal interests such as friendshps, about her relationship with your husband.

You have inquired to her personally for information regarding your own marriage and asked for factual information. When she refused, you became angry and called her names, which is a natural response. IF she were to actually take you to court, you could easily say before the judge,


"Your honor, in hindsight, I can see that calling this woman a skanky wh(*& and bi(*) was probably not ladylike and is outside my normal course of behavior. I am sure that you might understand that I was riddled with shock and devastation at the time, and panic-stricken with grief. I would be appreciative if you would allow me to offer a sincere apology if it would please the court, and we could be done with this business and not waste any more of the court's time with what is probably something that could have been handled outside these halls."


The judge would probably appreciate it - but it would never come to that. This wouldn't see the light of day. It takes quite a bit to prove a harrassment case. She has to have been DAMAGED. What are her damages????? How did your calling her and her friends damage her? Did she lose money? She has to show she lost money.

Courts just don't dish up money for emotional stress for this stuff, and with what YOU have been through, a counter-suit for your emotional damages for the affair with your husband would triple whatever she might file for.

If I were you, I wouldn't even worry about it. She is full of it.

This OW is just squealing mad because you nailed her with the truth. Picture a vampire suddenly dragged out into the blazing light of day. That's what you're dealing with.

If she still threatens to sue you, tell her to please go right ahead because you would welcome the chance to present your side of the story in OPEN COURT and to have everything in the PUBLIC RECORD.

Then sit back and wait for nothing to happen.

Thanks all! After reading all of your replies, I'm actually hoping she takes me to court. I would like to have the opportunity to humiliate her in public and let everyone see what kind of person she really is.

I'm guessing my H's boss has confirmed the affair to HR by now and he still has his job. I still haven't heard one peep from HR, which probably means they think I was justified in my actions and that it was not harassment.

Yea, all their little squeals from the pigpen. It is funny actually, because the VERY LAST THING they want is to let the world find out they are a scheming husband stealer and homewrecker.

I DID ALL THAT. I sure did. Called her into court, subpoenae'd the ho, and LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. And I did it to the SECOND HO TOO. Loved it too.

It's funny now, the xow wistress (now ex wife of my xwh Darth who was ow2) HAS APOLOGIZED OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO ME for all her wrongdoings as when she learned the hard way (marrying my xwh) HOW IT FEELS to have the shoe on the other foot. She also said she realizes now WHY I HAD TO DO what I did and she understood.

In fact, she subpoenae'd MY XWH'S OTHER WOMEN, whom he cheated on her with too. She got testimony under oath from them before the hearing. She said they too squirmed in their seats, tried to sugar-coat their skanky acts, and that they went kicking and screaming just like she did into the meeting with her lawyers.

We have had HR managers on this site who were highly PO'd about affairs in the workplace! If you have some married women in the HR department they will not think highly of the OW and your H. The last one who showed up here actually FIRED the OW [for her affair] and quietly made sure her husband knew why.