Great letter Neak. I think you should also call for an internal audit of WH expenditures.

The letter is very good, but so far the chairman had no interest in hearing anything from me and it is considered a personal thing. So, I really don�t know. - I could ask some shareholder or anybody on here. But not sure, if this is the thing to do.

Have you given the Chairman the letter? as it is in writing he should either have to do something or respond to you in writing.

I would also suggest you have a lawyer review your position in the company even your husband tries something through the company.

And my husband still does not have the least interest to talk to me. When I try he behaves like I send him to prison. I feel very poorly. Have now health problems. I don�t know what�s next.- Why can�t we talk matters through and see where things are wrong. He has never spoken to me about our relationship for 10 years. Does my family not deserve to be worked on? Why can�t he see that he is part of a Rumanian scam now? How is that ever to stop?

And I think he said something like he feels bad and it is not easy for him neither. - Is this a good thing?

Lola, nothing your husband says is good until his affair is over. Please understand that he has the same mentality as a falling down drunk right now. Everything he says is meaningless and is driven by his affair addiction. It will stay that way until he ends his affair. Ignore his words and watch his actions.

Xau, thanks for all your support. I have now a call with the chairman coming up. worried and scared.

Lola,

SugarCane has given you great advice here. Have you made plans to see a solicitor?

Right now your WH is not seeing any consequences for his actions. He has no reason to change. Please take some action to protect yourself and your daughter.

Stay strong and take deep breathes.

Lola do not be scared, be confident , pushy and fearsome the chairman must sense you are in control , have a plan to take the initiative and will assert yourself. Your husbands affair is bad for business, a minimum of half the assets are yours and your words should indicate you will go for all. He will try use words to placate you however if you have given him a letter he must respond in writing, this alone will expose him and any decisions that may compromise the business.

Pokerface, thanks you again.
I have now scheduled a meeting with a lawyer to see what can be done at the moment. I want my daughter to be protected as well and not see the former au pair. It would be very upsetting for her. So I do not want this "we play family games" on their side. I hope I can make this all happen.

Lola,

I am sorry that all this is happening. I know that all you want is to have your family back.

Right now you have to be strong and fight.

Xau is right that the chairman needs to be respond in writing. This opens the door to actions against him if he does not take the appropriate measures to protect the company and its s/h.

I still think an internal audit of WH expenditures is line. What is your ownership in this company?

I also think you really need to decide if the company or marriage mean more to you.

If you want to save the company.............continue on as you are and if you want the marriage to have a mi-nute chance....go no contact soon and have others do the direct work related stuff you need done to keep the company functional. Just have no direct or indirect communication with your WH and focus on
yourself
your child
the company

and see what happens with your WH over time with zero contact.

It is probably do-able.

Thanks reading.
I understand. I will go as less contact as possible and do what he does. Ignore him as much as possible. Looking past him. He will need to sort more stuff himself and have less information within the company. His problem. I am now really hurt by his "funny behavior". - Yesterday he came round to fix something for our daughter and he pretended I did not exist. Not even when we had dinner. This is all awful. As if I am the persona non grata, just worth rubbish. And if he talks like in saying, I am going, he will stand 10 meters apart from me as if I have him for lunch!! As if I beat him up.. And that�s what he mentioned before on and on and still does, if anything comes out of his mouth, that I have slapped his slut and him.

Ignoring him doesn't work.

If you have contact with him.....you are pleasant and avoid lovebusters (read basic concepts and study up). You are pleasant and the bestest wife/woman possible until you close a metaphorical door to withdraw all direct contact and personal support through meeting his emotional needs (again...in the basic concepts)

You might just consider building ways to do your work minus seeing or talking/texting with him once you decide to close that door (called plan B here).

You can be very creative in figuring out how to do this while still being great at your job. Get your assistants in line at work to use for it. Create an office elsewhere to be your command station (home? somewhere else?) and get an intermediary in mind for personal financial issues and child issues too.

It can be done.

Right now, study the basic concepts like crazy. Read the books by Dr. Harley and prepare to make your stand for yourself. Your classy, amazing as a womanly self.

reading, thanks again.
After the blow on Sunday, I will need to do Plan A again, I find. I have read the love busters. - Next week we will be both travelling on the sam busines trip. - Very tricky as we stay at the same hotels even, which I so terribly hate. It did not go well the last time. He is more and more withdrawn, Plan A tricky, if he only ever stands 10 metres away and does not talk to me. Besides that he sees I am looking nice, not too much I believe which can help. If I survive the week somehow with Plan A, we still go to Disney Land with our daughter for 3 days, which he now in the end has agreed to do for her.- I wonder, am I am the one booking another room for him?

After that�s it�s into Plan B. He seems to talk work to me, but nothing else. And the talk is more or less "ok, yes, no". Words rather than sentences. - We met at work. That�s always what we had together. Maybe helpful?

I also got more feedback from the Chairman: Him and the board considers it a personal problem and are very sorry, but that�s it.

As for the letter to her Rumanian family, I still have no translator and found out that that�s a normal thing and she will be applauded. So I feel I might drop this.

Days getting very difficult. Very. I am at one set of fiv minutes at a time.

Plan A is doing your best to be your best and have NO EXPECTATIONS of his response.
You do it even if he seems to ignore you.
You don't talk relationship, no lovebusting and focus on pleasantness and beauty and beguilingness from your side of the marriage.
He can take mental notes for later.

Do things on the trip that a wife would do but do not blow up if he ignores you or downright tries to provoke a bad reaction in you.

Go knowing he probably will be a big jerk.

Invite him to do activities with you but go even if and when he says no to them.

Be amazing anyway. For you if nothing else. To prove to yourself how awesome you are.

(lol)

Before exposure when I had to keep my cool while snooping, and after when I plan A'd, I found it helped to have an imaginary audience.

I had this really cool, unflappable boss at my first real job - she was like Jane Bond. I just pretended that she was watching me the whole time so I never lost my cool or rose to any bait.

Plan A like a rock star. Offer him all sorts of fun things to do and special treats, flirt! If he says no or sulks, just say 'never mind', air kiss him, skip away with your little flirty walk.

BE the kind of woman he'd want to take away on a trip...do not LB at all. And BE the kind of mom he will want for his child. the skanky ow CAN NOT EVER be the mom of his child, but she can try (unsuccessfully).

Wear amazing outfits (ones that have maybe a teeny bit of cleavage or show off your best assets)and smell amazing too. Always have up your sleeve a great nostalgic remark like if you're at lunch somewhere..like "remember paris in 1997?" or something like that.

You must MAKE him realize he has a past, present AND FUTURE with YOU and your CHILD. He does not have any of this with his skanky mistress. And I would seriously work to get her deported. I would directly contact and visit the Rumanian embassy and talk to the ambassador there and GET THE B*tch deported asap!

I'd hire a rumanian translator and write an exposure letter and have it sent to her company and her family.

PLAY MEAN WITH THE OW. Have no mercy. ZERO. And play devious with the affair meaning DESTROY it by being the most amazing gorgeous and fabulous wife and business partner and mother your H could ever have.

One tip...when talking to an active wayward, here's how to get things going in the talking department. Do not say anything about yourself...TALK ABOUT HIM. You see, that is what the posow has done. She put him most likely, on a pedastal. YOu do that too. Talk about HIS day, HIS trip, etc. That was one way my xwh actually backed off from the affair for a while (I ended up dumping him though).

Plan A is also about meeting those EN's that were missing possibly before. AND HIS MIGHT BE ADMIRATION!!! After all, to the skank ho scumbag babysitter trying-2-get-a-green-card-ho, she USED that tactic to develop an illicit affair with him.

So steal your husband right back!!! And meet those EN's like a pro. DO you know your H's top EN? I would say probably Admiration is top. So admire away. Ask his opinions on things too (men love that). MAKE him feel smart, desirable, and hot. Lightly touch his shoulder some time and let your fingers linger there for a second and when talking to him, look DIRECTLY into his eyes.

Waywards won't hold your gaze for a while...but over say a weeks' trip? He will stop doing that and you can do the eye to eye connection. That will break down alot of walls.

Remember, the nazi skank ho ow has tried to destroy your marriage using similar tactics, and she may be a pro, what I call one of the "predatory other women" out there. My xwh's 2 ow were both pro's. They have experience doing this.

But MB can combat this and you can kick the affair and the skank ho to the curb. Out smart her. You can do this!

All,
thanks all for your support. The chairman has now send an email to the board more or less asking for me to be removed. Maybe the easiest, but that�s what�s happening. Therefore I am losing out completely. The opposite has happened. I am completely devastated. In the end, I will have nothing at all?
My husband has also rung me and yelled at me again and it all went terrible wrong with me crying. Maybe I am too weak of a person to work plans. Thanks for all your support.

No your not weak , get to a lawyer and take your share of the company. Do continuously remind yourself that you have a darn good chance of taking 60% of everything.

Get a sharp lawyer and have him start legal proceedings against the company. Note to yourself think of a way to expose your husband publicly and therein mention the complicity of the Chairman is supporting the affair.

If your lawyer is sharp any removal from the board can be viewed as biased.