I have been with my husband for 8 years total with no children(2 married 5 boyfriend/girlfriend) He found out a month and a half ago that I was unfaithful (he says I mentioned it on my sleep and when he confronted me I first denied it but then told him it was true). It was someone I met on a bachelorette party 1.5 yrs ago (proof that you should not put yourself in harm's way) and exchanged phone numbers. Then texted 8-10 days in a period of a month after which I met up with him and we hooked up(but did not have sex although my husband does not believe me). After that time I have never communicated with him or seen him and my husband knows this because he has checked my phone records. From the moment he found out I told him I was sorry for my actions and ashamed of my behavior. A week ago he asked me for a separation/live apart because he does not know what he wants and I had no choice but to agree. He says this event has made him realize our relationship is not that great and that he might not actually love the person that I am. He agreed to go to therapy and we had our first session together this past monday. Because of work he wont be able to go again for two weeks. Because I have been able to see his email I know he is flirting/hanging out with a co-worker (don't know the full extent of what is going on there) and also went on a date with someone he met at a happy hour. I love him and want to salvage my marriage but feel that this separation is bringing us further apart. I'm trying to give him the space he asked for but is so hard. Please give me advise as to what I should do. The girl from work might be something that has been going on for a few months. Now looking back he has been withdrawn for a few months. Should I confront him about this work person? should I talk to her and ask her to please not interfere in our marriage? Should I talk to someone in his family? (he does not want to tell them)I'm suffering from anxiety I can barely get anything done at work. I'm really hopeless. Please help me

Asking for space is usually a tip of that someone wants to avoid scrutiny

Read the Operation Investigate board for tips on snooping out the information you need to make good choices for yourself and your marriage. Don't ask him for the truth. Just because you gave up the truth (years later) doesn't mean he will (whilst he's in the middle of it). It's called the fog and if he's cheating, he's not thinking right.

Without the truth...it's tough to advise you since he kinda has the right to not trust you and consider his options and perhaps divorce you. Taking "space" to really make such decision may be appropriate but taking "space" to date while married isn't.

Thus...snoop out the truth and if he's cheating expose him (and her) to everyone. Sure, you will be exposing yourself and your prior behaviors as well but if you want to save the marriage what have you got to lose. No kids...so it's a crap shoot.

That being said...I'm a firm believer in hope for any marriage. Some of the people that arrive here that I think have the best chances, don't make it while others that seem completely hopeless make it. If you can extract your husband from the clutches of some OW and get him to work the MB program than you've got as good a shot as anyone.

Welcome to MB,

Mr. Wondering