If it mattered we would have told you. Really.

i am sorry i sound so wishy washy, I am reallly not I know what i want, it is clear as water

just a question......what do i do when i expose, which i am doing now, and she says i am not ready to end it yet???

Tell her she has to end her affair or this will lead to divorce. Make it clear to her that she is not to ever carry on her affair conversations in your home in front of you and your children. And let her know that if this comes to divorce, that you will be suing on grounds of adultery and will have the OW subpoenaed into court to give testimony about the affair. You will seek primary custody of the children and possession of the home. She needs to know you will not roll over and just take her abuse.

Now, she may not end her affair right away, but by exposing it, you will have ruined the fantasy aspect and hastened its death. No guarantees but it is the most likely thing to kill her affair.
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If you are really exposing, please do it right. HALF MEASURES WILL AVAIL YOU NOTHING. Don't be tempted to do exposure LIGHT, because it will achieve nothing other than making your WW furious WITH NO BENEFIT. Do it right, do it big. Ask everyone to contact her and use their influence to persuade her to end her affair. Expose to the OW's family.

You want them to be getting MEGA phone calls all weekend so their tryst is ruined.

Your wife will be FURIOUS and will make all manner of threats, "I was going to work on the marriage, now I'm not," "I am filing for divorce," "you destroyed my trust" blah, blah, blah, yippeee coyote and all that blather. Don't let it bother you for a minute! Just tell her "I am so sorry you are upset! I thought I should spread the good news. Would you like a potato chip?"

Don't cry, grovel, defend or fight. Just be pleasant and if you feel like laughing at the stupid, crazy comments she makes, leave the room.

If you do a wimpy version of exposure all you will achieve is infuriating her enough to come after you much harder but not enough to damage the affair. It is like taking a pea shooter to gun fight. When you shoot the pea, you just irritate your opponent for no gain.

When you infuriate your opponent make sure you do it for some GAIN.

Be strategic and SMART.

thanks doing my best. How do i get contact info off of facebook, i dont have any exp w facebook

thanks doing my best. How do i get contact info off of facebook, i dont have any exp w facebook

is there info on plan a/b in saa

If you tell me specifically what you are looking for and I can find the article.

I would go to facebook and register your own account and set up a page. Then find the OW's page and copy and paste all her contacts into a word document.

she has limited the info that non friends can see....it is not even accessable to my ww. i have access to her account

So if you sign in as your wife on facebook, you can't see the OW's list of FRIENDS?

no there is a padlock next to her name. she only lets info to certain people....on the night i found out i took my wifes phone and called ow very bad deceision on my part. and she changed her fb settings, so it is very difficult to get info on any of her friends.

Ok, you can still expose to everyone else and then try to look up the OWs parents and family members through sites like intelius.com and peoplefinder.com. Do a search on Facebook for ppl with the same last name as the OW and see if you can find her parents or any family.

How old are your children?

son13
daughter9

how do i find specific posts by specific vets

Click on their name and then click on show user's posts.

Go to MB forum (Operation Investivate) and see Facebook help.

Ok here is what is happening
she went to az for the wkend trist
I called a few people who were non responsive.....ww family.
She came home on mon am...flight landed on sunday she went to stay w parents came home at 7am when i had to go to work...made it until 2pm then told me she wanted a divorce over the phone....
she said she was through.....i did nothing but listen then after about 15 min of her babbeling said i had to go. when she was at home i called her and said we need to get the kids to counseling because they are starting to act out, against her...she kind of had a meltdown and said how am i going to do this by myself, to which i said nothing......i told her he was my son i will rearrange my schedule to accomodate. when i got home she wanted to have a beer and so we sat on the patio and had a couple of beers. she said how do you feel about our talk.....i told her i am not interested in divorce at all, not one bit. she said she felt calm about the deceision. then we went for a walk and said she wanted to sell the house and move 30min closer to her parents...i said ok..she said this is not fair to you i cant be youor wife i dont think i can b with u sexually and i am going to be having a sexual relationship with another person...to which i said i assumed that was a given already..well her conclusion is we should rent or buy 2 condos/appartments very close to each other. because she needs her freedom/ affair/ and so i could help w the kids. she thinks they should be pulled from their schools and rerooted.....i told her that was an interesting idea. she has delusions of grandure about what our vaca home is worth and what our home is worth...
later i received a call from one of my supporters and i went for a walk and told him the events of the day.......he said only i am sorry i dont know what to say i never would have expected this.

she came up to me later that evening and asked who i was talking to and flipped out.....you are blaming this on me when you had the affair......"we had a deal if one of us wanted to be with another we would speak up and part ways" she thinks what i did was way more painful than what she is doing...like there is a score sheet.....like i am being unfair.....she thinks i am ruining her reputation. I think she is doing a good job of that herself...then she told me her girlfriend was coming this wkend....I guess the only thing i can do is expose more, but she has changed her pw on fb and i dont have it

oh did put eblaster on comp so hopefully get pw soon
unless she is using her mobile to access it

I would tell WW you are not selling any property.
Not allowing the kids to be uprooted.

By selling properties and setting up WW with a love nest to bang the OM you are financing her affair. A BH must never move out of the family home and never finance the affair.

Also you don't want your COM around the OM but you don't want to make it easy for the WW to get rid of the COM to see the OM.