I need everyone's advice on how to stop the communication that is seemingly still going on with my wayward wife and her lover. I have for the most part stop the actual face to face meetings between the two of them and have even caught them texting and believe I have put a stop to that as well, but I have noticed that my wife has been spending a lot of time on Facebook lately to which she caught on that I was spying on her page and she has since blocked me from doing that. I believe that she is still communicating to him by way of Facebook messaging and possibly other ways such as IM on either AOL or Yahoo. Another thing I came across is that I found a rough draft of a letter she was obviously writing for him and don't know if she has written another final draft that she has given him. How do I stop all lines of this type of communication? She is so wayward and in a fog about being in love with this man that I feel overwhelmed and fighting an uphill battle - She tells me she doesn't love me, but I don't believe that as our first few years of marriage were wonderful, but I need to destroy this "in love" feeling she has for this other man so I can even have a chance at starting to rebuild the love between us again. Another thing I wanted to mention is that with the invent of all of these sophisticated iPhones, iPod touches, etc. how can I stop this emotional affair from continuing - it is very disturbing to think of all the possible ways they can be communicating!!!

All Help is Much Appreciate,

CMerrill

Install a keylogger on the computer. This will allow you to see the communication between them, giving you the evidence you need for exposure.

If you're in a position to do so, cancel your internet service and her cell phone. These actions, however, will make it difficult for you to collect intel. I think you want to collect evidence first, expose second, and THEN cut it off at the throat.

Experience posters will be along shortly to provide you with a plan.

Sorry you are here.

Study the basic concepts at the top of the page.

Order the book Surviving An Affair right away. It lays out a logical, methodical plan to deal with infedelity in a marriage.

Snoop
Plan A
and prepare to eventually Plan B

You can not MAKE your wife do or not do anything.
You can be the best husband possible given the situation and you can do certain things to build up her lovebank (concepts) towards you and hope the affair will die a natural death and you will get to rebuild a better marriage.

Will a keylogger tell me who she is actually communicating with?

Did you take any of the advice I gave you on your other thread?

Did you expose the affair? Is the OM married and if so, have you told his wife?

There is not much we can do for you if you don't take the advice we give you.

I went to a lot of time and trouble on your other thread to answer your question a few weeks ago and there was no response.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=164273&Number=2533045#Post2533045

Are you really serious about saving your marriage?

Yes the affair has been widespread exposed and the other wife knows and they are going to a family therapist and I believe she the betrayed wife told me that the therapist was getting the children involved - the other man acts like he wants to work his marriage out for the sake of his children? However, I believe he is still trying to have his cake and eat it too by having my wife in the wings and since my wife is so supposedly "in love" with him she can't seem to stop communicating with him back and forth either!!!! I mentioned to the betrayed wife about buying two copies of the "His Needs, Her Needs" book for the two of them as well as purchasing the book "Surviving an Affair" for herself!!!

Who exposed what to WHOM? Can you give me the list of people and what YOU told them?

And have you been in constant touch with the OMW every time you find contact? Have you confronted him?

When was the last time you spoke to the OMW?

And did you DEMAND she end contact like I suggested?

Yes I demanded it, but my wife won't listen and she just tells me that I keep pushing her farther and farther away! Everyone knows, parents, friends, etc. I speak with the OMW on a daily basis - I have confronted him about ending the communication to the point that I want to got KICK his #&$# over it, but that will only get me into more trouble LOL

Another thread where I spent alot of time and effort answering your post and got absolutely no response: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=164275&Number=2533086#Post2533086

Did you expose the affair to your children?

WHO told WHO and WHAT were they told? What were her parents told? What were the OM's parents told? What were your children told?

Do the OM and your wife work together?

In the process of that - it is hard for me to deal with telling my children because I want to do it in an age appropriate way so that they understand and I am unsure of how to exactly go about that? They are 5, 7 and 10 - any advice - I want them to understand and not confuse them any more?

WHAT does this loser do for a living?

He works on an assembly line for a automotive parts company

There is no such thing as a "process." You either told them or you didn't. You sit them down, tell them mom is having an adulterous affair with Joe Scumbag, a married man. Tell them how much her affair hurts you and why adultery is immoral. Encourage them to speak to their mother about ending her adultery.

Do it alone without her and encourage them to ask questions. This is not rocket science. There are no magic special, cute words you can say that will make it any easier.

Do they work together at the same company?

And WHO has been told about the affair and WHAT were they told by WHOM?

YES MA'AM - I will get to it - it is just so painful to have to tell them - but you sound like the expert so I will do it - Thanks for your support Melody!!!

What if the children don't seem to care that much since they know this man, being a nieghbor and all, and my children play with his children - sorry for asking - I just want to have as much advice upfront!!!

No my wife is a stay at home mother - I have told my side and the betrayed wife has told everyone on her side - as for the affair itself - my wife and the other man came clean to both of us as I found some evidence in the house that made me confront the two of them

Tell the kids they can no longer play with these kids because their dad is a BAD MAN who is harming their family. They are not allowed to be at their home EVER. The kids need to understand this man is a THREAT to you, to them and to their family.

And if he is your neighbor, I would make plans to move, because you cannot ever hope to recover your marriage as long as you live by him.