Bill, I am with you on that one! I don't really know what is going on in affairland, but I do know that WH is not having contact with his family or mutual friends. And he is spending time with a "couple" (I suspect going on double dates, excuse me while I puke!) that got together on a drunken night whilst her boyfriend at the time was asleep on the couch beside them!!! And in front of the rest of the party!!! My WH did not like this couple before I left him in the UK, but when he returned to Australia briefly he said he was enjoying spending time with them. Mmmm, maybe I am glad we are on different continents!

Caracal, you will heal. It doesn't look like it now, because the pain is so fresh, but it WILL happen. None of us are any stronger than you, we have just been at it for a bit longer. Plan B is a true blessing. Stick to it, and you will feel better in no time.

And about the "friends" my WH did the same thing. He has pulled away from all of his friends and family except the people who enabled him at work. And these people have weak boundaries and low morals. A year and a half of living together, and he still hasn;t even introduced OW to his family. Although, it wouldn't matter, they don't want to get involved. ARGH

1.5 years and hasn't introduced to family?? So weird. My husband has always been close to his family. He would have already introduced except my in laws said they didn't want to meet her. They will back down after a while though.

Just seen your message of support on my thread Caracal - thanks! I cant wait for you to taste the benefits of Plan B. Its only been a month and a half I am so much stronger than I was.

Ive never known crying like those first 2 weeks. I was like a wounded creature. I also was q susceptible to temptation. Luckily I had closed off a lot of communication avenues and I went away for the weekend the first two days. I definitely would have buckled otherwise. I even opened one of his letters when I got back. Why I dont know, it was just junk mail and I knew that when I opened it. Just to see something of his, I think.

Driving down OWs street to see if his car was there was only a tiny detour from my way home from work. Sometimes I was even in a strange company car that they wouldn't recognise. However I knew that they would only have to get a glimpse of me and all my efforts to Plan B their affair into flames would be destroyed.

In the end Plan B revealed itslef to be a medicine, not a weapon.

You will want to see his facebook page, look at his pictures, hear his voice somehow. Metaphorically tie your hands on these fronts so you cant until the physical addiction part of your love subsides.

Now I still love him, but its more from memory, I dont have the same crazy hormones crashing around my blood. Im through 'withdrawal'.

Cold turkey is hard though, you hit the rocks at first. But I promise it is short lived and so beneficial.

Those are some very encouraging words Indie, and very well put. You capture what it is like when you first enter Plan B.

Love this one Indie!

Exactly why I entered Plan B (though can't deny the hope he would come to his senses!)

In the beginning of Plan B, if we are all honest, we did it mostly to wake up our wayward(those of us whose LB wasn't completely drained and we had only done Plan A for a shorter time). Once you are in Plan B and are experiencing the benefits of it its not why you stay. Stick to it, stay dark and I PROMISE that you will feel better in no time.

In the beginning, if all you can do is not contact your WS and you avoid any contact the WS is attempting you are being successful. In a couple of weeks, the real work on personal recovery begins. Hang tough.

Caracal,

I have been in plan B for 3 months. Not so much to save my marriage because we are in the middle of a D, but rather to save my mind.

I have come to realize what type of person my ww was and is and that is something I don't want or need anymore. I have my rough days but they are fewer and farther between now.

I have not broken Plan B once. I know if I do she will be right there letting me know how happy she is with all of this even is she isn't. I don't need the drama and that is exactly what Plan B takes away.

Just remember that you were not given a choice how the A affected your marriage but you have a choice if you are going to let it continue to affect your life!!!