Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#25359 10/29/99 11:22 PM
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 389
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 389
Here is a question for ya. Have any of yall trying to reconcile a marriage ever had the experiance were: You and your spouse have been seperated for a long period of time, and the you start talking again. things are going farelly well and then you start trying to tell the other how you fell about them and then BAM it seems like they shut the door in your face until the next time you see them?<P>Well it happened to me tonight. If you read my other thread you know I messed up. I saw my W tonight and things went very well. Thinghs had been going well ever since I came to this sight and got some advice. <P>I asked her on a date and she said NO. What I dont under stand is why when i ask her to dinner she goes ( the kids are there of course which is not bad either) I go to their house every thrus and sun. but when it comes to just us its NO. She told me evry time she is starting to get used to me again I do this.( tell her how I feel and ask her on a date). <P>She gives me mixed signals and I dont know how to take this it is very hard. I did tell her that I would probably ask her out again. She then told me that I was making her feel bad, and why did I want to do this to myself. My reply was the worst you can say is no. which ofcourse she did.<P>I need to know to read her emotions<P>THANKS<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 406
Y
Member
Offline
Member
Y
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 406
I can understand her point. If I were her, I might even be a bit angry. Just because all of a sudden you are ready, doesn't mean she is. Be fair.

Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,101
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,101
brownphd -- I can't tell you how to read your W's emotions, but I can tell you that I have been through the same thing.<P>When my W left me she filed a restraining order against me, so things were even more difficult. I was "allowed" 4 hours a week visitation with our daughter, so I had some "legal" means by which to see my W. Every time I "saw" my W I tried my best to tell her how sorry I was for the pain I had caused her, how much I loved her and needed her, etc. After a while, I began to feel that our "conversations" were positive and might actually be accomplishing something. Everytime I left with this feeling of accomplishment. it would be weeks before I saw my W again. She would have relatives bring our daughter for my "visit." This went on for several months before we actually made some progress "together."<P>I don't know how "we" began making the progress, but I thank God that we did. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.<P>God Bless

Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 389
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 389
nonpulsed, I understand what you are saying and can understand how she could feel this way, but the divorce has alredy been filedin late sept. I dont know the reason why she waited so long. She has asked me why I waited so long to tell her this. she says thing to me that I hear and when I bring them up to her she says she should not have said them. ie... "if i knew things would be diffrent then I would get back together". She will do things with me, but not just me and her. all I have is time.<P>Empty shell, We have made alot of progress I think. we atleats get along. I visit the kids during them during the week. go eat dinner over at her house. we get along great now, but I said above nothing just us.<P><BR>THANKS<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 406
Y
Member
Offline
Member
Y
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 406
Well, it seems pretty simple to me. If she doesn't want to do things "just the two of us", but will do them with the kids, then do things with the kids. She needs her time. Let her have it. If you are half as serious as you sound, you can spare the time.

Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 389
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 389
nonpulse, I can spare the time, and love every minut withall of them.<P>I guess my problem is that our D will be final soon and I would like to atleast hear we could try before it is final. Even though a D is just a piece of paper. Ina way that would be good caus then I could giver the big weddibg we didn't have before.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<BR>


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 214 guests, and 68 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Rjack, russelltonya, arielwilson, Debby Woman, Comfortable Shoe
71,850 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5