FWH is leaving on a trip in less than 24 hours.

We are in recovery since 2008. d-day 2006. Two years of Affairs.

Since oct. 2010 that things are not so well, almost no SF since then. SF is 5 EN. Everytime I talked with H he always said it was our stress and depression he felt tired and just didn�t feel like it and did not know why.. It was indeed a though year in every way. Work, kids and finances.

He was extremely ill in December for the first time in his life.

After that he started with very independent behaviours to get his health back.
Sport activities usinf UA and family time. Added to increased work hours.


The current issue:
2 months ago I found a suspicious message from yahoo messenger on his phone.
(he said it was surely a mistake, wrong number)
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1 month ago I found a different but definatelly more suspicious message.
(this time he said that according to the number code it was probably from OW 5.)
This doesn�t make sense to me for different reasons.
(I posted on this one here but again forgot username and password L I am a member since 2006)
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Affection is his first, my second EN and has been met by both. My first O&H not fully met.
Theres no 100 trust from my part and communication and conversation still has lots to improve.
When we talk he always says we are much better. Improving, takes time but we will get there.
He is accountable for all his time.
I have all passwords and access to his e-mail, work mail and phone.
Work computer I have no access.
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After this second message I went into big depression again. Snooping more intensively.
He has been even more effectionate and putting more time and effort in UA and familly commitment.
And SF increased.
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THE BIG URGENT ISSUE:
He has been preparing for a business trip that we, as always, POJA.
He is supposed to travel for his work but agreed after starting recovery for him to attend as minimum as possible. He cant avoid them all and has been having this trips twice a year opposed to every two months.
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Since October I have never found anything suspicious.
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Now, this trip is a 10 days trip to two adjacent countries, 4 days on each country.
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To the first country I could confirm. through his emails, everything he told me is correct. Stay, events, company payment of tickets.
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For the second country, he says he�s just going for an interview. That the company pays for this tickects and the contacts for stay are all taken care of.
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But, there is nothing at all to this trip except for visa and online tickets confirmations. Nada.
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I have been pressuring and asking, for first country, finally yesterday the confirmation of staying arrived. But I waited till today and still nothing for second country. And finally today, an e-mail from accountant releasing the money to trip expenses considering ONLY the first 5 days of travel.
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So I am trying really really hard to stay calm.
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My question is?
What do I do?
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Confront him tonight? Bluff that I have info and that he better come clean before I present proof (that I really don�t have.
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I know this is not supposed to work if he is a WH again. But he learnt the hard way before that truth will come sooner or later.
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And, well I might not have proof of an OW, old or new one but there are definetely omissions.
Ultimatum based on what I have?
Which is: �nothing supports or proves that second country is a business trip and that is being paid by company.
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He said he would be paid after he presents work to another company but he also said his company is paying air tickeks and arranging hotels.
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And then what? Stop him from traveling? Make him cancel second country?
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Please help.
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Former waywards have ZERO allowance for "mistakes" and undefined itineraries. You know that.

The termination or (seemingly contradictorily) radical escalation of SF is a dead give-away of a new entanglement. You know that.

In the two years of since his last affair, you have grown comfortable with his new "dedication" to your marriage, while he has been anticipating and cultivating this new contact. You suspect that as well.

So, you know what I'm going to tell you. You knew it before you initiated this thread.

You tell him that if he leaves on this "business" trip, with the second leg as sketchily justified as it currently is, he will return to being served papers seeking dissolution of the marriage.

(And your waiting until 24 hours before he's scheduled to leave to come here does nothing to establish your resolve in this matter.)

Well, talled to H and it is all cleared.

He immediately sent an email to his boss who indeed was the person to arrange everything to second country. he sent him the emails confirming what they had already agreed verbally.

It turns out the purpose to second country trip is totally diferent from country one.

Thanks for your reply.