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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 335
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 335 |
3 years since D-Day. Wife has done nothing since then to make me suspicious. I have checked up on her occasionally and everything comes up legit.
A few days ago I notice about 20 text messages between her and an unknown cell phone in the phone records. All in one day. I check her cell phone and her text records have been deleted.
I check online and no info unless I pay for it.
Do I ask her about it risking her feeling like I will never trust her.
Do I forget it and increase checking on her activities.
Do I pay the $10 to find out without her knowing.
Suggestions?
BH: 46
FWW: 44
3 DD: 20,17,11
Married 24 years
PA/EA: 5/08
DDay: 6/08
NC: 8/08
Previous EA 1998 confessed 8/08
In Recovery
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 552
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 552 |
Pay the $10.
Hopefully, it will be money well spent and the texting will be innocent to a friend you don't know. In that case, $10 is a bargain for piece of mind.
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 14 |
Pay the $10.
If you don't you will be thinking about it and driving yourself nuts. Schtoop is right, hopefully all innocent and your mind will be at ease.
BH(Me):40
WW:42
OM:44 2nd marriage, 6 kids
D-Day #1 6/16/11 EA
D-Day #2 6/18/11 PA reveal
Married 17 years, together almost 19
5 beautiful children, 7,9,11,13,14
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 987
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 987 |
Pay the $10.
Unfortunately, blind trust is how we all end up here.
Moreover, if there IS something shady going on, you will need every opportunity to gather intel discreetly before confronting.
And if nothing shady at all - then no worries. If you find you're uncomfortable w/ having snooped and found nothing, or if you have lingering discomfort about the possibilities this triggered for you, maybe visit the topic w/ your W - how you feel about texting, whether there are alternative methods of communication, if either of you want to watch the amount of texting going on, etc.
Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
DSx2
D-day: 2008
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Do I pay the $10 to find out without her knowing. Yes.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I would also sneak a keylogger on her phone. Get eblaster, mobilestealth or flexispy. Eblaster has a nice one for $65 that will send you texts immediately.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
1) Pay the $10.00.
2) Prepare yourself for the worst.
3) Review your joint understandings about the penalties for another bout of infidelity. Steel yourself to enact them.
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