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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 13
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Joined: Aug 2011
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The more I think about it, the more I wonder why I should even try. Why should I love someone who has zero respect for me. Does she really think that I don't know what she is up to? How do I attempt to continue on with someone who wants to trash her family's future for her own selfish needs?

MarkA #2537627 08/23/11 10:37 AM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Originally Posted by MarkA
The more I think about it, the more I wonder why I should even try. Why should I love someone who has zero respect for me. Does she really think that I don't know what she is up to? How do I attempt to continue on with someone who wants to trash her family's future for her own selfish needs?
Pretend your WW is a drunk instead of an adulterer. Would you be so quick to end your M if you knew there was a chance you could save her from herself? And in the process, save your marriage and your children's emotional well-being?

Your WW needs your help, Mark. She is mired in an addiction right now and can't help herself. Get her out of that first. You can contemplate ending your M at any time after that. I think you're giving up too quickly. Why? Is it that the work required of you right now is too hard?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

MarkA #2537632 08/23/11 10:45 AM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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The more I think about it, the more I wonder why I should even try.

I can only think of five reasons. Here are three:

We have been married for nearly 12 years with 3 kids. The negativity in our relationship is starting to effect our kids.

Number four is your future mental/emotional well-being. Dude, losing a fight such as you're about to enter would be awful, but not as devastating as surrendering without that fight. What self-opinion would you take forward knowing you surrendered your wife to another man without a struggle?

Lastly, there is your currently wayward wife. She is lost, my friend, wandering in a fantasy-land where she gets to have some needs met by you, and some by POSOM. That will not be the case when she succeeds in destroying her marriage. You, as the only rational one of the marital pair, need to take steps to protect her from her own self-destructive impulses.

Strap up, Mark!

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