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At what point does flirtation become an EA?
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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At what point does flirtation become an EA? Can you give us more information? Flirtation is never acceptable. Flirtation is a covert invitation to escalating a friendship to something more.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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TE - where are you going with this?
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When you KNOW it is a flirtation. Simple as that. When you LOOK FORWARD TO OR ENJOY a whole lot attention from a member of the opposite sex. When you find yourself dressing nicer or looking or smelling good for that person.
When you deliberately align yourself with that other person, desiring contact ALONE with them, no matter where it is.
Even if you desire that, or begin any of this, it's a prelude to an affair. Next comes the heavy flirting, and after that your integrity and reputation fly out the door because we know what comes next.
Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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What has me concerned is an EA usually means someone that is married or in a committed relationship is involved.
Flirting is usually associated with two single folks trying to court each other.
Recently you posted about how upset you were that you WxW was on vacation with her OM and you wanted to expose. Are your feelings going to through an emotional rollercoaster with her still? How are you feeling today about your WxW?
Your divorce is still fresh and your wounds are still open. My suggestion would be to Plan B your WxW and go very dark. This will heal your wounds enough to start to see other women in a better light. Where your bar for those women is much higher than the level of your current WxW.
Are you feeling vulnerable to a married woman or woman that is unavailable to you?
Last edited by itistoughlove; 08/24/11 06:10 AM.
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Are you feeling vulnerable to a married woman or woman that is unavailable to you? This is VERY important, as we don't want you to become an OM.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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At what point does flirtation become an EA? Either one is profoundly offensive, isn't it?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Are your feelings going to through an emotional rollercoaster with her still? How are you feeling today about your WxW? I feel angry and disappointed and baffled. Unfortunately, I think about the affair/divorce/narcissism/destruction/loss all the time. My suggestion would be to Plan B your WxW and go very dark. I no longer speak verbally to Ex. If we do have to communicate about the kids, I use email. The logistics of a very dark Plan B are very difficult with the kids and the short sale of our home still pending. But I'm trying to be as dark as possible. Are you feeling vulnerable to a married woman or woman that is unavailable to you? No. I do flirt with women. None of whom are married, and none of the flirtations have escalated into "feelings." And to be quite honest, I don't feel that I can let myself have feelings for any woman at this point.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Because this is becoming mostly about me, I'll continue this conversation on my main thread.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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